How do you get over the guy who took your virginity?

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KenzieLynn2004
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I miss him so much, my mom made us breakup and everyday it kills me. The reason she made us break up is because of the age difference and she doesn't have a boyfriend, so she doesn't think it's fair I have one. He's 18 and i'm 16, but we love each other and we have known each other for years . He saw me through my worst and was always there for me, god I just get so depressed talking about him. I need to get over him, but we still love each other so it's so hard. We agreed to wait till the future, because it will be legal and we can be together without anyone getting in the way. I hate this feeling though, I feel like there is a piece of me missing. I want to distract my self with someone else, but that isn't healthy and most likely won't help.
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ashtolga23
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Is there no chance you can talk to your mum about this? I don't think she's being reasonable at all. Me and my bf started dating when I was 16, and he's 18. I don't think it's the worst age gap at all, especially if you've known each other for so long; it becomes negligible.

I hope this gets better for you, and I think you two waiting for each other is very sweet. Perhaps you could talk as friends and see if your mum approves of that, with the idea that you'll get back together in future?
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KenzieLynn2004
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
Is there no chance you can talk to your mum about this? I don't think she's being reasonable at all. Me and my bf started dating when I was 16, and he's 18. I don't think it's the worst age gap at all, especially if you've known each other for so long; it becomes negligible.

I hope this gets better for you, and I think you two waiting for each other is very sweet. Perhaps you could talk as friends and see if your mum approves of that, with the idea that you'll get back together in future?
My mom doesn't listen to me ever, and even though she and I live in the same house we aren't close at all. You're lucky you got to stay with your bf, I miss him so much and I tell him how I feel and he asks if I'm ok and tells me that he loves and misses me. He took my virginity, but he wasn't a virgin. He had been wanting to take my virginity for years because he said he wanted a special moment with me. It sucks cause, every day it's like all the memories come rushing back in my head. I remember in 9th grade I lied to him and told him that I wasn't a virgin cause I thought that's what he would want to hear LOL, and he got soooooo mad at me. He told me, " I wanted to take your virginity so we can have a special moment together, why didn't you wait for me? " When I told him I lied he was beyond pissed, ugh I love him so much. He remembers the first time we ever met online through my friend, I don't remember, but he does. He remembers the first time we met in person too and I also remember it like it was yesterday. The moment we saw each other we locked eyes and it's like nothing around us really mattered. He cares about me so much. I just miss him. I have to wait 2 years to be with him again.
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PTMalewski
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2 years is not an age difference. Unless he'se from a bad background or criminal, or there is some other serious issue, there is no good reason to keep you separated.
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by KenzieLynn2004)
My mom doesn't listen to me ever, and even though she and I live in the same house we aren't close at all. You're lucky you got to stay with your bf, I miss him so much and I tell him how I feel and he asks if I'm ok and tells me that he loves and misses me. He took my virginity, but he wasn't a virgin. He had been wanting to take my virginity for years because he said he wanted a special moment with me. It sucks cause, every day it's like all the memories come rushing back in my head. I remember in 9th grade I lied to him and told him that I wasn't a virgin cause I thought that's what he would want to hear LOL, and he got soooooo mad at me. He told me, " I wanted to take your virginity so we can have a special moment together, why didn't you wait for me? " When I told him I lied he was beyond pissed, ugh I love him so much. He remembers the first time we ever met online through my friend, I don't remember, but he does. He remembers the first time we met in person too and I also remember it like it was yesterday. The moment we saw each other we locked eyes and it's like nothing around us really mattered. He cares about me so much. I just miss him. I have to wait 2 years to be with him again.
I'm really sorry you're going through so much.

Is it just the age gap your mum is worried about? Looking through this there are some possible red flags is all. Nothing that would make me say write him off altogether, but him being focused on your virginity for so long (and angry at you when he thought you lost it) could be viewed as creepy. He was quite possessive over you (while I usually find this attractive, it's a warning sign when you're not even together and he's mad at you for it), and hypocritical having lost his virginity himself. It sounds like he almost took advantage of you in some respects, perhaps liking the idea of having someone's virginity, although this is one of my more uncertain points. Plus, right now the age difference isn't very big, but back when you were 14 I think it's much more noticeable, so if he's been wanting to have sex with you since then, I could understand a mother being a bit protective. I'm really sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but please take it into account and be realistic with yourself. Don't let love make you blind, because I've been there and it's better to just move on. If you honestly think I'm wrong then fair enough because you know him better than I do, but from an outsider's perspective there are concerns.
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realBillyChau
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Distractions, distractions and distractions. Work on yourself, find a hobby, enjoy life! 😁
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KenzieLynn2004
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(Original post by PTMalewski)
2 years is not an age difference. Unless he'se from a bad background or criminal, or there is some other serious issue, there is no good reason to keep you separated.
Well since he's 18, he's considered an adult which I'm 16, so I'm still considered a minor, but I wish my mom could just be reasonable here. Like she knows we are most likely going to get back together the second I turn 18, and she keeps complaining cause I'm miserable all the time. The reason I'm miserable is because I miss my baby, like it hurts. She was also blackmailing me to break up with him, she was threatening me to turn him into the cops if I didn't break up with him. Like who does that? I feel the main reason why she made us break up is that she doesn't have a man and she blames me.
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KenzieLynn2004
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(Original post by realBillyChau)
Distractions, distractions and distractions. Work on yourself, find a hobby, enjoy life! 😁
That's how I got over my toxic ex, but it's different cause this recent ex and I didn't want to break up.
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KenzieLynn2004
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
I'm really sorry you're going through so much.

Is it just the age gap your mum is worried about? Looking through this there are some possible red flags is all. Nothing that would make me say write him off altogether, but him being focused on your virginity for so long (and angry at you when he thought you lost it) could be viewed as creepy. He was quite possessive over you (while I usually find this attractive, it's a warning sign when you're not even together and he's mad at you for it), and hypocritical having lost his virginity himself. It sounds like he almost took advantage of you in some respects, perhaps liking the idea of having someone's virginity, although this is one of my more uncertain points. Plus, right now the age difference isn't very big, but back when you were 14 I think it's much more noticeable, so if he's been wanting to have sex with you since then, I could understand a mother being a bit protective. I'm really sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but please take it into account and be realistic with yourself. Don't let love make you blind, because I've been there and it's better to just move on. If you honestly think I'm wrong then fair enough because you know him better than I do, but from an outsider's perspective there are concerns.
Oh no, I was more possessive over him than he was me LOL. I mean he was EXTREMELY overprotective, but I feel the main reason he wanted to take my virginity himself is because the moment he saw me he fell in love instantly, at first my feelings weren't as strong for him as his were for me, but now I feel like my feelings are WAYYYY stronger. He knows that I've had bad relationships in my past and he would never play me like those other guys would. He never rushed me into anything, it was whenever I was ready. Before he took my virginity, this happened. We were always on and off before, but we'd always come back to each other. I remember I would always say to my friends that he was the only dude I would let take my virginity because he doesn't just want me for my body. When I was obsessed with my toxic ex I remember one night I had a dream about my recent ex and every night I kept dreaming about him which was weird. I finally got over my toxic ex and got back with my recent one and I started catching strong feelings. I opened up to him about personal **** that has happened to me, I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT!!! I manifested that he would take my virginity and he did. I never believed in destiny, but I feel like we were destined to be together. I don't know though I could just be trippin.
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PTMalewski
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The age of consent in the UK is 16, so as long as you were 16 when you've done it, there is no charge that police would have against him.

I can tell you're a bit too crazy about him, although at this age I guess it's normal.

(Original post by KenzieLynn2004)
Oh no, I was more possessive over him than he was me LOL. I mean he was EXTREMELY overprotective, but I feel the main reason he wanted to take my virginity himself is because the moment he saw me he fell in love instantly,
No, let me explain you something. Love and sexual attraction are two completely separate things. As a man I'd obviously like to have sex with a girl I love (as well as with all attractive girls I don't love), but honestly, I completely don't see how loving someone would transfer into wanting to have sex with that person. He might love you, or might not, but If he had sex with you, it is only because he wanted to get laid.
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(Original post by KenzieLynn2004)
I miss him so much, my mom made us breakup and everyday it kills me. The reason she made us break up is because of the age difference and she doesn't have a boyfriend, so she doesn't think it's fair I have one. He's 18 and i'm 16, but we love each other and we have known each other for years . He saw me through my worst and was always there for me, god I just get so depressed talking about him. I need to get over him, but we still love each other so it's so hard. We agreed to wait till the future, because it will be legal and we can be together without anyone getting in the way. I hate this feeling though, I feel like there is a piece of me missing. I want to distract my self with someone else, but that isn't healthy and most likely won't help.
Honestly I'm still not over the person I lost my virginity to, and we had a very toxic relationship because my virginity was all he really wanted - he saw it as an accomplishment, and I never knew whether he actually liked me. I haven't really spoken to him for 5 years because I have a boyfriend now and he makes me much happier than my ex ever did.

You shouldn't have agreed to wait for him, because eventually he'll just find someone else and you'll be even more hurt, and keeping in contact with someone you know you can't get over is just a punishment to yourself. How long were you together for?

Distracting yourself might actually be a good idea, because you might find someone who is closer to your age who your mum will accept?
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KenzieLynn2004
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(Original post by PTMalewski)
The age of consent in the UK is 16, so as long as you were 16 when you've done it, there is no charge that police would have against him.

I can tell you're a bit too crazy about him, although at this age I guess it's normal.



No, let me explain you something. Love and sexual attraction are two completely separate things. As a man I'd obviously like to have sex with a girl I love (as well as with all attractive girls I don't love), but honestly, I completely don't see how loving someone would transfer into wanting to have sex with that person. He might love you, or might not, but If he had sex with you, it is only because he wanted to get laid.
No, it's not like that. Girls practically throw themselves at him, he could get laid anytime he wants, but he only wanted a special moment with me. It wasn't just sexual though, he wanted a relationship. Every time we were with each other we would act so silly, we had our own inside jokes and games that we played. I miss that, we were like best friends, not just lovers. I remember when I was going through my worst I was crying and took my hands off my face and pulled me over and hugged me. He told me everything was going to be ok, then he tried to make me laugh. He would always cuddle me. I miss him so much.
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tbi_zlx
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(Original post by KenzieLynn2004)
No, it's not like that. Girls practically throw themselves at him, he could get laid anytime he wants, but he only wanted a special moment with me. It wasn't just sexual though, he wanted a relationship. Every time we were with each other we would act so silly, we had our own inside jokes and games that we played. I miss that, we were like best friends, not just lovers. I remember when I was going through my worst I was crying and took my hands off my face and pulled me over and hugged me. He told me everything was going to be ok, then he tried to make me laugh. He would always cuddle me. I miss him so much.
Im just reading this thread and legit wondering how a lot of people get so lucky with the right person but then have to go thru this. Listen, within reason she shouldnt have any reason to keep you apart, do you guys still keep in touch. Even if you cant meet up or anything, keep in touch as much as possible, dont let the spark die out. While youre missing him, immerse yourself into whatever distraction you can ok x. It seems hard but you will get thru it and be back together hopefully real soon
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spectrum84
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(Original post by KenzieLynn2004)
I miss him so much, my mom made us breakup and everyday it kills me. The reason she made us break up is because of the age difference and she doesn't have a boyfriend, so she doesn't think it's fair I have one. He's 18 and i'm 16, but we love each other and we have known each other for years . He saw me through my worst and was always there for me, god I just get so depressed talking about him. I need to get over him, but we still love each other so it's so hard. We agreed to wait till the future, because it will be legal and we can be together without anyone getting in the way. I hate this feeling though, I feel like there is a piece of me missing. I want to distract my self with someone else, but that isn't healthy and most likely won't help.
Awww, I'm sorry this is happening to u. U two sound so perfect. I don't really understand why ur mum has a problem with it, if she doesn't have a bf herself she should be glad u do, maybe try talking to her and finding out why she doesn't want u to be with him cos the age gap is really not that much of a problem
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candydiva
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LOL! Yeah, wot age gap? My master took my v-card same age as u. Lucky for me I don't need to have those feelings about loss coz we have been together ever since and the more other ppl I meet who tell me similar things to u, the more I value this.
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PTMalewski
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(Original post by KenzieLynn2004)
No, it's not like that. Girls practically throw themselves at him, he could get laid anytime he wants, but he only wanted a special moment with me. It wasn't just sexual though, he wanted a relationship. Every time we were with each other we would act so silly, we had our own inside jokes and games that we played. I miss that, we were like best friends, not just lovers. I remember when I was going through my worst I was crying and took my hands off my face and pulled me over and hugged me. He told me everything was going to be ok, then he tried to make me laugh. He would always cuddle me. I miss him so much.
Well, if that's the case he will want to stay in touch with you, I'd suggest that you should discuss the matter with your mother again. Ask what exactly has she got against him that she doesn't let you hang out together.

These days it's normal that people at your age have sex on regular basis, even at houses of their parents. Not once, not twice but many more as a teenager I've heard conversation of parents in which it was clearly state they were thinking their about 16 yo. daughters was having sex upstairs, with their boyfriends, and they decided to ignore that completely. Btw. I know about one of such couples who are now married and have a baby boy.
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KenzieLynn2004
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(Original post by tbi_zlx)
Im just reading this thread and legit wondering how a lot of people get so lucky with the right person but then have to go thru this. Listen, within reason she shouldnt have any reason to keep you apart, do you guys still keep in touch. Even if you cant meet up or anything, keep in touch as much as possible, dont let the spark die out. While youre missing him, immerse yourself into whatever distraction you can ok x. It seems hard but you will get thru it and be back together hopefully real soon
This is how our relationship use to be and he was willing to make it work, but yeah I miss him like crazy and I'm not ready to lose him yet.
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KenzieLynn2004
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(Original post by spectrum84)
Awww, I'm sorry this is happening to u. U two sound so perfect. I don't really understand why ur mum has a problem with it, if she doesn't have a bf herself she should be glad u do, maybe try talking to her and finding out why she doesn't want u to be with him cos the age gap is really not that much of a problem
I know right, I mean we were never perfect, but we were a perfect match. I can't talk to her cause she never listens and she really doesn't care.
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KenzieLynn2004
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(Original post by PTMalewski)
Well, if that's the case he will want to stay in touch with you, I'd suggest that you should discuss the matter with your mother again. Ask what exactly has she got against him that she doesn't let you hang out together.

These days it's normal that people at your age have sex on regular basis, even at houses of their parents. Not once, not twice but many more as a teenager I've heard conversation of parents in which it was clearly state they were thinking their about 16 yo. daughters was having sex upstairs, with their boyfriends, and they decided to ignore that completely. Btw. I know about one of such couples who are now married and have a baby boy.
My mom took my Snapchat so we couldn't talk, but he texts me on my cousin's phone. My Mimi just bought me a phone tho and my mom is going to let me have it in a week, and he wants my number so we can talk again. I just have to delete his number and everything else with him, which sucks, but I'm willing to make it work. I don't want anyone else.
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PTMalewski
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(Original post by KenzieLynn2004)
My mom took my Snapchat so we couldn't talk, but he texts me on my cousin's phone. My Mimi just bought me a phone tho and my mom is going to let me have it in a week, and he wants my number so we can talk again. I just have to delete his number and everything else with him, which sucks, but I'm willing to make it work. I don't want anyone else.
Seriously, talk you your mother, because as long there is nothing wrong with this guy, like a criminal background, she's not being reasonable.
Are you either Muslim or Catholic by any chance?
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