Is it possible to choose to love someone in a "childish/teenager love"

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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What I mean by this is when entering a romantic relationship, is it possible for one to choose how to have romantic feelings for their partner? As in, you may chose one person to be in a relationship with as a teenage or childish romance kind of thing which fizzles out quickly, but with another person, you'd choose to seek a committed, serious, and long-term kind of way?

Reason I ask is because I dated this girl for about 5 months and I was heartbroken at the end of it. To me, it seemed like we had something serious going with the words of affirmations. She would tell me "I love you" "You're very special to me" and "I won't break up with you" (yeah look how that turned out, I can't believe I was so stupid to buy that). After she broke up with me, she seemed to move on immediately and she now tells me that she wouldn't even call our thing the real thing, but just a "childish/teenager" thing. She says her next relationship will be the real thing. So I ask myself, why couldn't we have that in the first place? So this means that her feelings all along for me were just artificial and not long-lasting? She just chose to have that kind of puppy-love with me but chooses it to be real true love with the next guy? This what I don't understand. I used to think that you can't really decide like that because I thought feelings are feelings no matter what, but now I'm questioning it with what she's saying.

Any advice about this would be a great help. Thanks.

P.S. I'm done trying to get her back. I don't want anything to do with her after that statement
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haironballs
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Report 3 weeks ago
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All relationships at least the first few (if you are even lucky) should be considered stepping stones to your next one.
The way you choose how you have feelings for the other person should be based on what you would really want out of the
relationship. It all gonna depend on what your intentions are. Your feelings are going to develop however they do on their own
and you could have control over them but that would require for you to know who you are and you would have to know exactly
what you want out of the relationship. and if it doesnt work out its not your fault and its not her fault. it just is. her feelings and your
feelings were not artificial, but her suddenly not being interested in you could be a blessing in disguise. **** her, go do something that
will boost your ego..like workout get a haircut. get cute and go meet another girl. Actually i would suggest playing the field and dont look for 'nothng
serious...eventually one of those girls will be the one you hang out more with and connect with
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