Do teenage boys want actual relationships or just sex? Sick of being used for my body

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hello again

In February, I wrote my first post ever (anonymously) about feeling behind on having teenage relationships. Well, safe to say a lot has happened since then. Funnily enough, I actually started getting action about 3 days after posting it lol. No relationship, but a fling where I almost fell for the guy until I realised I needed to use my head, not my heart and end it because he lived so far away - there was no way we could survive as a couple because I'd never see him. I did really like him though.

All of this happened before quarantine btw, before my year 12 went tits up and my friendship group fell apart, grades dropped and state depression kicked in. I thought that I'd have the rest of the academic year to find a serious boyfriend, and this was looking even more likely as I had just formed a friendship group with some close mates and their friends who were boys and were planning on having large houseparties where I could meet more people. But corona ruined the whole thing, and the boys that were in my new group either left for a different sixth form, or stayed back a year (so I can't mix with them on campus because of 'bubbles'). I hang out with different people now, my close friends are all girls and much more introverted but I don't mind it because they always have my back, we have small gatherings every week, they're smart and motivated and we're travelling around Europe next summer (if its possible).

However, the downside of this is that none of them have had relationships before. So I find it super hard to talk about this kinda stuff with them and get actual legitimate advice without feeling like a hoe or an outsider.

Basically, (back to the point of the post) I want a relationship with someone from my sixth form that I can see everyday, who I am attracted to physically and mentally AND gets on well with my friends and family. I want a reciprocal, healthy relationship with someone I can bring to family gatherings but is down for adventure any time.

I want all of this, yet all I attract is emotionally unavailable psychos, 'nice guys' or ****boys who will stop at nothing to try and see me naked. And once they have, they lose interest and ghost me. I sexted quite a few different boys over quarantine because of horniness lol, but now we're coming out lockdown slightly, I just want a real relationship but I can't seem to break out of it.

I'm sick of it tbh. I want a real relationship and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. To anyone out there in a relationship - how did you do it? where did you meet? I'm so sick of fickle conversations on social media about how horny you are and how much you want to see my body. It's fun for a second but once its over and you leave me on delivered for 2 days I just feel used. I want real human connection and I don't know where to get it from. Is it even possible? Is that what boys want? Or do all of them just want sex? I mean I do too (I'm only human) but I just feel like its so hollow if there's no feeling. I don't want to get railed in the back of a car at midnight just for the sake of it if I don't actually care about the person - only their body.

How do I get out of this trap with the wrong type of guys and find what I'm looking for????????

Sorry this was a bit rambly. I'm just lonely. I want real human connection. Please manifest me a nice, funny, pretty boyfriend this year so that I can have the chance to be a nice, funny, pretty girlfriend who cares about them <3

Thanks

Lu
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candydiva
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Find an older mature dude who not only looks like James Bond but delivers a passable imitation in daily life, travel, challenges etc...
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joshiboy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello again

In February, I wrote my first post ever (anonymously) about feeling behind on having teenage relationships. Well, safe to say a lot has happened since then. Funnily enough, I actually started getting action about 3 days after posting it lol. No relationship, but a fling where I almost fell for the guy until I realised I needed to use my head, not my heart and end it because he lived so far away - there was no way we could survive as a couple because I'd never see him. I did really like him though.

All of this happened before quarantine btw, before my year 12 went tits up and my friendship group fell apart, grades dropped and state depression kicked in. I thought that I'd have the rest of the academic year to find a serious boyfriend, and this was looking even more likely as I had just formed a friendship group with some close mates and their friends who were boys and were planning on having large houseparties where I could meet more people. But corona ruined the whole thing, and the boys that were in my new group either left for a different sixth form, or stayed back a year (so I can't mix with them on campus because of 'bubbles'). I hang out with different people now, my close friends are all girls and much more introverted but I don't mind it because they always have my back, we have small gatherings every week, they're smart and motivated and we're travelling around Europe next summer (if its possible).

However, the downside of this is that none of them have had relationships before. So I find it super hard to talk about this kinda stuff with them and get actual legitimate advice without feeling like a hoe or an outsider.

Basically, (back to the point of the post) I want a relationship with someone from my sixth form that I can see everyday, who I am attracted to physically and mentally AND gets on well with my friends and family. I want a reciprocal, healthy relationship with someone I can bring to family gatherings but is down for adventure any time.

I want all of this, yet all I attract is emotionally unavailable psychos, 'nice guys' or ****boys who will stop at nothing to try and see me naked. And once they have, they lose interest and ghost me. I sexted quite a few different boys over quarantine because of horniness lol, but now we're coming out lockdown slightly, I just want a real relationship but I can't seem to break out of it.

I'm sick of it tbh. I want a real relationship and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. To anyone out there in a relationship - how did you do it? where did you meet? I'm so sick of fickle conversations on social media about how horny you are and how much you want to see my body. It's fun for a second but once its over and you leave me on delivered for 2 days I just feel used. I want real human connection and I don't know where to get it from. Is it even possible? Is that what boys want? Or do all of them just want sex? I mean I do too (I'm only human) but I just feel like its so hollow if there's no feeling. I don't want to get railed in the back of a car at midnight just for the sake of it if I don't actually care about the person - only their body.

How do I get out of this trap with the wrong type of guys and find what I'm looking for????????

Sorry this was a bit rambly. I'm just lonely. I want real human connection. Please manifest me a nice, funny, pretty boyfriend this year so that I can have the chance to be a nice, funny, pretty girlfriend who cares about them <3

Thanks

Lu
Just be patient it Will happen when it needs to happen,and always prefer a guy who loves ur soul not ur body that is called pure love.....
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Anonymous #2
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
Ok, so, I know you're feeling lonely. As social creatures, we all do. Being at year 12 myself and being single, I feel you fam. But I just want to say a couple of things.

First of all, it's okay to not have a boyfriend (I'm not trying to sound condescending, pardon me if you think so). I mean, I don't have a girlfriend while many of my friends (in my circle) are just engrossed in their relationship, albeit those lasts for about a couple of months at best, and then they move on to 'find' someone else. I find it rather hurtful, in a way. I mean, one minute they are here confessing their eternal love for each other and the next minute, they're the worst of enemies, generally speaking. I, from a 3rd person vernacular perspective, just look at them, and feel really sad (if that makes any sense? may it does, idk)

Coming to your situation, all I can genuinely say is that don't force it. Nothing good comes off from forcing anything. From what I've read from your post, imo, you're not doing anything wrong, infact, you seem like a chill person. Your time of finding that one person who loves you like no one else ever has/will, who'll live by your side supporting you till his last breath, who's genuine, who's pure in the heart, who helps others with unyielding sympathy, who loves the person that's inside of you more so than physical beauty; this person will come, have hope. I too have hope of finding/coming across such a girl/my (future) girl (hopefully!).

Maybe this said boyfriend/(and, if luck strikes and I hope it does, your future husband) will come tomorrow, or maybe in a couple of years once sixth form is finished, you (and even me for that matter) can't be certain. All we have to do is just be patient, wait/abide for our dream person. I know it isn't easy, being in this situation, but the dream of someday being under the laps of your significant other without any care for the world makes all this waiting worth it.

You said - "I'm sick of it tbh. I want a real relationship and I don't know what I'm doing wrong."
Well, I too am sick too, lol. You will get a relationship. not some half hearted one that lasts a couple of months, or years, but a genuine one. You're not doing anything wrong, just be you, plain and simple. No extra makeups, no extra effort, no extra/less of anything. If the person you find loves you for who you are rather than what you show yourself to be, that person is a keeper, for eternity.

Lastly, I just want to say that I'm sorry that you got objectified my those disgusting/deplorable 'teenagers/male.' They are a disgrace to the society, objectifying women, I mean ef them. And this reply is reaaally long, so I hope you found it useful in a way. And also, if this reply came out as too "advisey", know that my point wasn't to be all "preachy" and "wise". I just shared with you what I use to get out of this hole you're currently in, once in a while. So, yeah, keep faith in fate and just keep on being genuine and most importantly, be patient. You're boyfriend/SO will find you and you will find him.


A fellow stranger that's in the same boat,

E.
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
Ok, so, I know you're feeling lonely. As social creatures, we all do. Being at year 12 myself and being single, I feel you fam. But I just want to say a couple of things.

First of all, it's okay to not have a boyfriend (I'm not trying to sound condescending, pardon me if you think so). I mean, I don't have a girlfriend while many of my friends (in my circle) are just engrossed in their relationship, albeit those lasts for about a couple of months at best, and then they move on to 'find' someone else. I find it rather hurtful, in a way. I mean, one minute they are here confessing their eternal love for each other and the next minute, they're the worst of enemies, generally speaking. I, from a 3rd person vernacular perspective, just look at them, and feel really sad (if that makes any sense? may it does, idk)

Coming to your situation, all I can genuinely say is that don't force it. Nothing good comes off from forcing anything. From what I've read from your post, imo, you're not doing anything wrong, infact, you seem like a chill person. Your time of finding that one person who loves you like no one else ever has/will, who'll live by your side supporting you till his last breath, who's genuine, who's pure in the heart, who helps others with unyielding sympathy, who loves the person that's inside of you more so than physical beauty; this person will come, have hope. I too have hope of finding/coming across such a girl/my (future) girl (hopefully!).

Maybe this said boyfriend/(and, if luck strikes and I hope it does, your future husband) will come tomorrow, or maybe in a couple of years once sixth form is finished, you (and even me for that matter) can't be certain. All we have to do is just be patient, wait/abide for our dream person. I know it isn't easy, being in this situation, but the dream of someday being under the laps of your significant other without any care for the world makes all this waiting worth it.

You said - "I'm sick of it tbh. I want a real relationship and I don't know what I'm doing wrong."
Well, I too am sick too, lol. You will get a relationship. not some half hearted one that lasts a couple of months, or years, but a genuine one. You're not doing anything wrong, just be you, plain and simple. No extra makeups, no extra effort, no extra/less of anything. If the person you find loves you for who you are rather than what you show yourself to be, that person is a keeper, for eternity.

There was this girl I used to like (since class 4) and still do infact. She once approached my in class 8 asking whether or not I like her. Me, being the shy person I am, said no, obviously. A couple of years passed and in Year 11, she began dating my bestfriend. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. But hey, I'm happy for her, if she's happy. But, sadly, that relationship lasted for about a couple of months. Now, they don't even see each other face to face, let alone talk. I'm still in fairly good terms with her although we talk waay less than in class 4. The point I'm trying to get across is that, I did a good job in saying no, in retrospect. Though she is a very talented individual, she has some problems that are visible and I found out that she isn't the person who I thought she was, but she has her own group and mostly hangs around with them now. Even after all that, I still love her. The human mind works in weird ways, ngl. And this came out like a rant, I just needed to get this out, idk, hope you saw the point I was trying to make

Lastly, I just want to say that I'm sorry that you got objectified by those disgusting/deplorable 'teenagers/male.' They are a disgrace to the society, objectifying women, I mean ef them. Anyways, this reply came out reaaally long, so I hope you found it useful in a way. And also, if this reply came out as too "advisey", know that my point wasn't to be all "preachy" and "wise". I just shared with you what I use to get out of this hole you're currently in, once in a while. So, yeah, keep faith in fate and just keep on being genuine and most importantly, be patient. You're boyfriend/SO will find you and you, will find him.


A fellow Year 12'er that's in the same boat,

E.
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