Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Do men have feelings? And I don't mean the superficial attraction or jealousy when you speak to somebody else. But actual, solid, tangible, palpable feelings on an emotional level.

More importantly, (and probably best asked to the guys on here) what are the signs a man has actual feelings for you?

I am so disillusioned with relationships. Men seem to see me as a prize and not a person and I don't know what to do about it.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
YES. Course some men are pratty pratty prats, and it's easy to think bad of the species. But there are also wonderful, caring men out there. Trust me. I have the good fortune to love one, and it's the best. You can trust some people, you just need to use your judgement first!

signs - Honestly no idea. Just ask him, and see what he says and how he says it. Sometimes there are no external signs, because this is relationships, not bird-watching

Just try find someone who cares for you for who you are.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
YES. Course some men are pratty pratty prats, and it's easy to think bad of the species. But there are also wonderful, caring men out there. Trust me. I have the good fortune to love one, and it's the best. You can trust some people, you just need to use your judgement first!

signs - Honestly no idea. Just ask him, and see what he says and how he says it. Sometimes there are no external signs, because this is relationships, not bird-watching

Just try find someone who cares for you for who you are.
Thank you! How did you do it? Every man I've found so far has wasted my time and been immature and not looking for anything serious. The last one especially - he is from a very privileged background which probably doesn't help, but we connected on so many levels. Only for him to be seeking my attention though and not actually making a move, a year later.

I feel ready to give up on it all to be honest. Maybe it'll just never happen for me.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! How did you do it? Every man I've found so far has wasted my time and been immature and not looking for anything serious. The last one especially - he is from a very privileged background which probably doesn't help, but we connected on so many levels. Only for him to be seeking my attention though and not actually making a move, a year later.
guys
I feel ready to give up on it all to be honest. Maybe it'll just never happen for me.
Honestly, I guess it just takes a lot of time and effort t build a relationship. My friends say I apparently go for 'nice guys' though which helps. Really I'm just very suspicious so I only really have relationships with people I trust absolutely. Friends first is always a good idea.
I'm sure it will!! We all have felt like that sometimes but it'll be okay!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly, I guess it just takes a lot of time and effort t build a relationship. My friends say I apparently go for 'nice guys' though which helps. Really I'm just very suspicious so I only really have relationships with people I trust absolutely. Friends first is always a good idea.
I'm sure it will!! We all have felt like that sometimes but it'll be okay!
Yeah that's true. For some reason I keep ending up with men guys that pretend to be nice and when I have developed feelings for them, show me their true selves. I do have a friend that I'm attracted to and he's a lovely guy but I can't tell if there's potential for us to ever make it past the friendzone, or indeed if he even likes me that way!

It's a just a huge grey area but I hope I do find someone nice. I just want the guy to be a decent human being! Thanks for your advice!
0
reply
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
Hi there
Men have feelings too. Society expects us to hide them.
A lot of women expect it from us too; since they find it not attractive at all and not manly. As a result some of us become monsters who do not know how to express their feelings, emotions; how to treat other people nicely.
Well, for those of us who decide to go against some women expectations ( the bad man, manly man), by showing our feelings and emotions, women run away from us. Or they put us in what is called the friendzone.
That is why some of us if not most of us, feel like we should hide our emotions if we want a woman to like us and society to accept us.
When men are nice, well no one wants them...
3
reply
candydiva
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
I see this too. Unfair xpectations for dudes.

Wimpy dudes i.e. expressive dudes who admit emotional pain and challenge are not appealing and we girls send plenty of signals to let them know it. Or on a macro level, society and I include the parental unit "trains" males to lose capacity for xpression. Men beat down on their own mates for xpressing anything. Result as u said above.

But girls need to be mature enuf to recognize when a male does express his feelings in the more muted register he feels he is allowed. In other words, girls need to stop measuring the male emotional register using the broader and more tuneful female emotional register coz otherwise there will always be this kind of questioning.
3
reply
Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by Ackhnologia)
Hi there
Men have feelings too. Society expects us to hide them.
A lot of women expect it from us too; since they find it not attractive at all and not manly. As a result some of us become monsters who do not know how to express their feelings, emotions; how to treat other people nicely.
Well, for those of us who decide to go against some women expectations ( the bad man, manly man), by showing our feelings and emotions, women run away from us. Or they put us in what is called the friendzone.
That is why some of us if not most of us, feel like we should hide our emotions if we want a woman to like us and society to accept us.
When men are nice, well no one wants them...
Thanks for this - very insightful. I agree - I think it's such a shame that men are conditioned to feel like they cannot have or express their emotions. I am honestly so tired of men that are emotionally unexpressive and I can't even really blame them because it's not their fault. I am so much more attracted to men that are bold enough to express their emotions and be straight with me. I hope that one day I can find a man like this! Because I automatically interpret this evasive behaviour as disinterest or commitment problems and that's become so damaging.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by candydiva)
I see this too. Unfair xpectations for dudes.

Wimpy dudes i.e. expressive dudes who admit emotional pain and challenge are not appealing and we girls send plenty of signals to let them know it. Or on a macro level, society and I include the parental unit "trains" males to lose capacity for xpression. Men beat down on their own mates for xpressing anything. Result as u said above.

But girls need to be mature enuf to recognize when a male does express his feelings in the more muted register he feels he is allowed. In other words, girls need to stop measuring the male emotional register using the broader and more tuneful female emotional register coz otherwise there will always be this kind of questioning.
Totally agree with this - I wish more women would accept and encourage men to embrace their emotions and not feel like they have to conform to society's pseudo "macho" standard.
1
reply
candydiva
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Totally agree with this - I wish more women would accept and encourage men to embrace their emotions and not feel like they have to conform to society's pseudo "macho" standard.
Macho is sooo dumb! Any display of macho turns me off so much.. it tells me the dude is not rlly capable of thinking for himself and being his own person. He wants to impress other dumb frat boys in their caveman pissing contest and u know, I just don't do dumb. I can accommodate lots of other things lol but not that kind of ultra-immature dumbness.

But remember it works both ways. At my uni in the UK last semester the girls seemed weirded out that back home in the desert I have a .30 cal rifle and can use it. Somehow they seemed to think this isn't very girly or appropriate.
0
reply
Alienated.
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
Totally agree with this - I wish more women would accept and encourage men to embrace their emotions and not feel like they have to conform to society's pseudo "macho" standard.
Going to add my two nickels here. I believe it's not just women but men too that add to this problem. Look at social media and all these rappers talking about shooting people, there d*ck size etc etc
Even in real life, in my city/town/area if men didn't fit into this label, men and women would see them as feminine, 'gay' and the like.

Obviously this doesn't mean all women and men are like that.
2
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by candydiva)
Macho is sooo dumb! Any display of macho turns me off so much.. it tells me the dude is not rlly capable of thinking for himself and being his own person. He wants to impress other dumb frat boys in their caveman pissing contest and u know, I just don't do dumb. I can accommodate lots of other things lol but not that kind of ultra-immature dumbness.

But remember it works both ways. At my uni in the UK last semester the girls seemed weirded out that back home in the desert I have a .30 cal rifle and can use it. Somehow they seemed to think this isn't very girly or appropriate.
Yeah that's so true. Btw 'caveman pissing contest' made me laugh! Couldn't have said it better myself. I can get a bit too passionate and hot-headed (thanks Mediterranean genes!) and I find that scares guys off and that makes me feel like I'm not feminine enough if that makes sense? Lifelong celibacy for me it seems! 😭
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#13
(Original post by Alienated.)
Going to add my two nickels here. I believe it's not just women but men too that add to this problem. Look at social media and all these rappers talking about shooting people, there d*ck size etc etc
Even in real life, in my city/town/area if men didn't fit into this label, men and women would see them as feminine, 'gay' and the like.

Obviously this doesn't mean all women and men are like that.
Yeah totally. Society at large is so toxic when it comes to this - I feel like in as much as we are trying to redefine gender roles, the same people advocating for it are reinforcing the steretype so progression, if any, is massively slowed.
0
reply
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
(Original post by candydiva)
I see this too. Unfair xpectations for dudes.

Wimpy dudes i.e. expressive dudes who admit emotional pain and challenge are not appealing and we girls send plenty of signals to let them know it. Or on a macro level, society and I include the parental unit "trains" males to lose capacity for xpression. Men beat down on their own mates for xpressing anything. Result as u said above.

But girls need to be mature enuf to recognize when a male does express his feelings in the more muted register he feels he is allowed. In other words, girls need to stop measuring the male emotional register using the broader and more tuneful female emotional register coz otherwise there will always be this kind of questioning.
Thank you.
What you said is true.
Just hope that maybe one day, women and society will be more inclined to accept that we men do have feelings and would like to express them.
0
reply
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#15
Report 1 month ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for this - very insightful. I agree - I think it's such a shame that men are conditioned to feel like they cannot have or express their emotions. I am honestly so tired of men that are emotionally unexpressive and I can't even really blame them because it's not their fault. I am so much more attracted to men that are bold enough to express their emotions and be straight with me. I hope that one day I can find a man like this! Because I automatically interpret this evasive behaviour as disinterest or commitment problems and that's become so damaging.
Well
Hope you will find a man like that soon.🙏😊
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#16
(Original post by Ackhnologia)
Well
Hope you will find a man like that soon.🙏😊
Thank you! Lord knows I hope so too 😊
0
reply
tbi_zlx
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 month ago
#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Do men have feelings? And I don't mean the superficial attraction or jealousy when you speak to somebody else. But actual, solid, tangible, palpable feelings on an emotional level.

More importantly, (and probably best asked to the guys on here) what are the signs a man has actual feelings for you?

I am so disillusioned with relationships. Men seem to see me as a prize and not a person and I don't know what to do about it.
You are involved with the wrong guys hun, in all honesty
0
reply
BluMoon06
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#18
Report 1 month ago
#18
Yes they have feelings. I’ve met many who have shown real love, joy and sadness.
Only last week, my close friend was genuinely sad because he brought up his uncles suicide (not on purpose. We were having a deep convo). He also shows love for his gf. Proper love. It’s so cute
0
reply
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 month ago
#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! Lord knows I hope so too 😊
You are welcome.😊
0
reply
username5447420
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 month ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! Lord knows I hope so too 😊
Yes, men have feelings, maybe the guys you have dated just aren't good at expressing them.

By and large, society expects men to hide their emotions and feelings so you'd have to be with a guy for a while before he's going to sit and cry with you if he's had a bad day, or profess his love for you until he's fully comfortable with your relationship and trusts you fully.

A man won't get with a partner and let his emotions show straight away, it will take time to chip away at the walls he's built around his emotions.

I should also note, that if you yourself aren't a compassionate and supportive partner, or have a history of using things against him in arguments, you destroy any chance he will show much emotion around you, as you may use it against him down the line (I'm not insinuating you are like that, just explaining that this can also be a reason men hide their emotions from a partner, for fear of oppression)
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you travelling in the Uni student travel window (3-9 Dec) to go home for Christmas?

Yes (107)
28.08%
No - I have already returned home (50)
13.12%
No - I plan on travelling outside these dates (73)
19.16%
No - I'm staying at my term time address over Christmas (39)
10.24%
No - I live at home during term anyway (112)
29.4%

Watched Threads

View All