Petrol etiquette

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
My SO doesn’t enjoy giving me money for petrol and often puts up a fight when I ask for the money, I’m travelling an extra 150 miles a week to get her from work and back as she lives 20 miles there and back. Without taking her to work I would only travel 80 miles a month
I want to know if I’m wrong for asking because she is my girlfriend.
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ReadingMum
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#2
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No you aren't - she is wrong for expecting you to do it for free.
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username5447420
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My SO doesn’t enjoy giving me money for petrol and often puts up a fight when I ask for the money, I’m travelling an extra 150 miles a week to get her from work and back as she lives 20 miles there and back. Without taking her to work I would only travel 80 miles a month
I want to know if I’m wrong for asking because she is my girlfriend.
Thats a big personality flaw, a relationship is committing to working as a team, It's really selfish of her to expect such a huge commitment, time and monetary loss for you for nothing. Sure if it was every now and then I'd do it for free but 20 miles every single day is a lot of fuel. Does she help out in other ways or do you find yourself paying for a lot of things in the relationship?
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username5447420
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That is an extremely childish way of thinking about this. Women aren't just sex objects that can be bought with gifts and free rides. As I said, a relationship is committing to working as a team.

I hope as you grow and mature your thinking around this will change. smh
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chopingirl
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She should be offering to help, sounds like a high maintenance b*tch to me. Better start looking at other options
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StriderHort
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She does sound a bit of brat, I wouldn't expect a partner to take me to work and back every day like a taxi let alone the COST of it. Is there some reason she can't take responsibility for her own work commitments?

You don't want to be the sort of penny pincher that rattles off a sum of money every single time someone is in your car, but an extra 150 miles a week is a lot of petrol money and time, to say nothing of the extra 7000 odd miles a year you're putting on your car.
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tashkent46
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150 miles lmao

tell her to walk or get the bus for a week and see how much she pays then
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Admit-One
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Unless she is chipping in more financially elsewhere, it's not especially pleasant of her, no.
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tashkent46
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roughly 600-750 miles a month (4 or 5 week)

should be charging her a couple hundred quid a month imo,

and that's just petrol

also time and maintenance costs to factor in

a train for similar mileage would be a lot more expensive
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Zarek
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How you spilt your finances and who pays for what is entirely up for negotiation with a partner. Of course it is best for the harmony of the relationship if you can reach a mutually acceptable understanding. Maybe you need to compromise a tad but also set a clear expectation.
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AW_1983
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Obviously context matters here and I don't know what she does for you already or how your relationship works. Normally in these disputes it turns out to be six of one and half dozen of the other and what matters more than being "right" is how you argue this one out and then make peace because it will tell you a lot about what the relationship will be like long term. Partners that always have to be right or always cave in eventually lose the respect of their SO so you do have to be a bit smart about it. Couples that can't argue constructively don't last.

On the matter of fuel specifically, clearly this isn't going to work for all kinds of reasons. On the purely financial and time commitment side, by going well out of your way to take her to work, you're basically doubling the amount of travel because you have to drive back twice as well. That's daft and eventually when you get a job of your own involving a commute it's not going to be an option for her anyway. You won't have time to do it.

Would it not be a much more sensible compromise for her to get driving lessons and be added as a driver on your insurance, so eventually she can use your car for work until you need it? Then you can just leave the tank nearly empty for her to fill up when she needs it.
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