Everyone dislikes me

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Hisksjd
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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People only tolerate me until they can find an excuse to get away from me. I’m in uni and came here with a friend I knew since secondary school, we met people and eventually formed a friendship group. A few days ago one of the guys in the group pointed out something I always thought about myself and I’m super insecure about, not once but twice, just to make sure I heard him. I usually keep things to myself and don’t open up but I eventually told my friend why I was upset and opened up a bit. I was feeling a bit better and willing to hang out with them but then I overheard a conversation outside my flat door between the guy and my other friend. He knew why I was upset but didn’t bother reaching out to apologise or anything. In that conversation I also overheard him say “everyone told him to say it” I’m assuming just to see what I’d do or just to make sure I knew there was something wrong with me. All my female friends are pretty and attractive but I look manly and have a tomboyish personality. I always keep everything in because I know if I told anyone they’d feel obligated to stay friends with me because they’d pity me or would think I’d kill myself or something. I’ve deleted most of my social media and have accepted that I’ll always end up alone in the end, I’m 90% sure they don’t like me now and my friend from secondary school is tired of me and cba because she knows I’m not worth it. Didn’t really come here for advice but more to vent because I’m having a mental breakdown and only really have one friend that is my best friend and even then I’m pretty sure he only stays in contact because we’ve known each other for so long and established the title. I’ll probably die alone
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Anonymous #1
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I’m really sorry for the late reply. I do not have a satisfying answer but let me answer you based on personal experience.

I have experienced the same thing and am still suffering from it now but the thing is, I keep on going because I have a certain goal in life. I’m still a third year highschool student who’s preparing for his SAT exams, an international student.

Now, about the goals I spoke of, I believe that every man must have a certain goal in life, my goal can only be achieved through knowledge which is why I dedicate my entire time studying and pursuing knowledge, I’ve given up on trying to get a girl, hang out with friends or do anything a normal highschooler does. In fact, I have not met a single person whom I can call a real friend till today, anyone who approaches me always has an ulterior motive. Whether it be cheating from me during the exams, getting me to help them study, tutor them etc.. They all approach me for a reason and once that is done, they go back to treating me the way they used to by completely ignoring everything I say and pretend as if I never existed. I decided that since everyone hates me, why should i bother?

If you aim to become a martial artist, you follow the martial path and must have a strong, firm, dedicated, unbending martial heart. Similarly, my goal can only be achieved through knowledge, I might not be one of the brightest kids out there but I try my best. I’ve had countless regrets up till today and if not for my religion, I would’ve commited suicide by now. Parental Abuse, School Abuse etc.. Ive experienced everything. I’m always being made fun of because of my skin color, my parents beat me up for the stupidest of reaons such as accidentally dropping ketchup on the floor. Moreover, whenever i get beaten by them, my body would be full of scars, I would sometimes even bleed but because I’m a coward, I cannot even commit suicide and use the excuse “religion”. I am afraid of the punishment I will receive if I commit suicide according to my religion but the pain of dying and losing the goals i set for myself is even scarier.

So as an advice from someone younger than you, the first thing you should do is embrace yourself. Accept your faults, whether you are weak, a coward, a shut-in, a NEET. Accept it all, try fixing it and accept the fact that you’re hated. Once you’ve done that, your view not only on others but the world itself will change, you’ll realize something that I cannot currently describe in words. If you have a goal that you desperately want to acheive then that is even better, ignore what others say, ignore those who hate you, ignore those who laugh at you. Simply focus on your goal, do not deviate and firmly walk as you get closer to your goal, it is not others who shape who you are, it is you who does that. If you fail then keep trying again, if a tree fails its photosynthesis, it changes its structure, its way of cooking, not its roots. Accept your roots and by making simple adjustions, keep walking whilst getting closer to what your heart desire
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Hisksjd
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#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m really sorry for the late reply. I do not have a satisfying answer but let me answer you based on personal experience.

I have experienced the same thing and am still suffering from it now but the thing is, I keep on going because I have a certain goal in life. I’m still a third year highschool student who’s preparing for his SAT exams, an international student.

Now, about the goals I spoke of, I believe that every man must have a certain goal in life, my goal can only be achieved through knowledge which is why I dedicate my entire time studying and pursuing knowledge, I’ve given up on trying to get a girl, hang out with friends or do anything a normal highschooler does. In fact, I have not met a single person whom I can call a real friend till today, anyone who approaches me always has an ulterior motive. Whether it be cheating from me during the exams, getting me to help them study, tutor them etc.. They all approach me for a reason and once that is done, they go back to treating me the way they used to by completely ignoring everything I say and pretend as if I never existed. I decided that since everyone hates me, why should i bother?

If you aim to become a martial artist, you follow the martial path and must have a strong, firm, dedicated, unbending martial heart. Similarly, my goal can only be achieved through knowledge, I might not be one of the brightest kids out there but I try my best. I’ve had countless regrets up till today and if not for my religion, I would’ve commited suicide by now. Parental Abuse, School Abuse etc.. Ive experienced everything. I’m always being made fun of because of my skin color, my parents beat me up for the stupidest of reaons such as accidentally dropping ketchup on the floor. Moreover, whenever i get beaten by them, my body would be full of scars, I would sometimes even bleed but because I’m a coward, I cannot even commit suicide and use the excuse “religion”. I am afraid of the punishment I will receive if I commit suicide according to my religion but the pain of dying and losing the goals i set for myself is even scarier.

So as an advice from someone younger than you, the first thing you should do is embrace yourself. Accept your faults, whether you are weak, a coward, a shut-in, a NEET. Accept it all, try fixing it and accept the fact that you’re hated. Once you’ve done that, your view not only on others but the world itself will change, you’ll realize something that I cannot currently describe in words. If you have a goal that you desperately want to acheive then that is even better, ignore what others say, ignore those who hate you, ignore those who laugh at you. Simply focus on your goal, do not deviate and firmly walk as you get closer to your goal, it is not others who shape who you are, it is you who does that. If you fail then keep trying again, if a tree fails its photosynthesis, it changes its structure, its way of cooking, not its roots. Accept your roots and by making simple adjustions, keep walking whilst getting closer to what your heart desire
Thing is my only real goal in life is to have a good job, get money and have a family. I don’t have any passions or anything like that and I don’t really like my degree since I never wanted to do it and the only reason I’m here in this uni is because the UK government and my sixth form severely messed up my grades to the point where it was near impossible for me to do the course I wanted at a decent uni without having to resit and take a gap year. I don’t want to be hated but I don’t know how I can change, I don’t even know who I really am or what my real personality is because I’ve put on this fake carefree personality as a coping mechanism for getting bullied in primary school when I moved. The career sector I want to go into requires decent social skills for most jobs in that area which I don’t think I have. If I shut in and isolate myself I’ll never learn how to talk to people but I don’t know what to do because we have no in person lectures and all clubs, pubs etc. are mainly closed so there is literally no way of me meeting new people. Hopefully second year will be better but I doubt it because this has been an endless cycle my entire life; make “friends”, the slightest thing happens between us, they most definitely overreact and suddenly there’s beef or they stop being my friend. And I know they do this to me specifically for whatever reason because there have been multiple times when someone else has done the exact same thing or something worse to that person yet they forgave them quickly (most of the time the person doesn’t even apologise for it or they just never get angry at the person to begin with). I’ve gone off on a tangent, sorry about that
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