Girl in uni class wants to meet me for coffee

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Anonymous #1
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But I have a partner? Should I tell her?
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Nialler x
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#2
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Yesss you should!!

Don't go cheating on your girl :naughty:
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*****deadness
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#3
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Idk why she wants to meet but it may well be for talking about assignments or whatever. If you don't wanna see her then say no, but if you (and/or your partner) is fine with making a female friend, you could go but make it clear you have a partner already
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Anonymous #2
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Depends on why she wants to meet for coffee. If she means it in a romantic flirty way and she’s interested in you, then yes 100% tell her you have a partner already and aren’t interested. But if she just wants to meet for coffee in a friendly way, maybe to do some work or go over lecture notes then no. Do you think she’s interested in you? Because if so, you need to tell her you’ve got a partner.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But I have a partner? Should I tell her?
1. You have to tell your partner, if you don't it's considered cheating by most people. You must be totally honest and trustworthy in a relationship, going for a coffee with another girl 1 on 1 without saying anything is cheating if you have kept it from your partner.
2. You need to find out if she wants to go for a coffee for some type of friendship or help with assignments like previous posts have said or in a romantic sense. If it's in a romantic capacity you need to turn her down obviously, if she wants to be your friend(bear in mind she may say this but actually want a romantic relationship) then you still need to run it past your partner.
3. The likelihood of your partner not having an issue with this is very low, even if they say they don't have a problem with it, they may test you to see what you do.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Depends on why she wants to meet for coffee. If she means it in a romantic flirty way and she’s interested in you, then yes 100% tell her you have a partner already and aren’t interested. But if she just wants to meet for coffee in a friendly way, maybe to do some work or go over lecture notes then no. Do you think she’s interested in you? Because if so, you need to tell her you’ve got a partner.
She’s in my group for a uni project, so we have held team meetings for all of us, however she wants to have a meeting just between us two after class. I’m stuck in a group of 6 girls basically.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
1. You have to tell your partner, if you don't it's considered cheating by most people. You must be totally honest and trustworthy in a relationship, going for a coffee with another girl 1 on 1 without saying anything is cheating if you have kept it from your partner.
2. You need to find out if she wants to go for a coffee for some type of friendship or help with assignments like previous posts have said or in a romantic sense. If it's in a romantic capacity you need to turn her down obviously, if she wants to be your friend(bear in mind she may say this but actually want a romantic relationship) then you still need to run it past your partner.
3. The likelihood of your partner not having an issue with this is very low, even if they say they don't have a problem with it, they may test you to see what you do.
I’m the only guy in a class full of girls - so of course I need my partner to trust me.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m the only guy in a class full of girls - so of course I need my partner to trust me.
Then you absolutely cannot violate that trust by going for a "coffee" one on one with a random girl from your class, tell her, see what she says. Reverse the roles and see how you would feel if your partner went for a coffee with some random guy from her class and didn't tell you, and you found out after the fact via some other means.
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parmezanne
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#9
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it's not cheating unless the intentions are flirtatious and it's a date - in which case you probably shouldn't go.

if it's just friendly then 100% go! you can tell your partner but it doesn't need to be a big deal if you're just looking to meet a classmate :yep:
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Anonymous #4
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Omg I’ve met sooooooo many people from my course for coffees over the past few weeks, it’s the only way to make friends !!

She won’t be being flirty she’ll have asked others at different points too it’s really normal
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Anonymous #1
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I’ll see what happens, and I’ll just tell her I have a partner and see how she reacts. Her Facebook shows she’s in a relationship but her page hasn’t been updated in 2 years - so who knows.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She’s in my group for a uni project, so we have held team meetings for all of us, however she wants to have a meeting just between us two after class. I’m stuck in a group of 6 girls basically.
Not sure then tbh. If it was me, I would agree to go for coffee but I would also tell her I have a partner. I wouldn’t do in a presumptive way though. Basically I would just say:

“Hey, just to let you know I have a partner. I don’t mean to assume that you’re interested in me that way, you might not be, but I just what to be clear in case you are.”
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Not sure then tbh. If it was me, I would agree to go for coffee but I would also tell her I have a partner. I wouldn’t do in a presumptive way though. Basically I would just say:

“Hey, just to let you know I have a partner. I don’t mean to assume that you’re interested in me that way, you might not be, but I just what to be clear in case you are.”
That's a really good idea however it's a bit too direct for some peoples tastes I feel, you can have the same effect by saying
"Hey, sure we can go for a coffee, just let me know what day and I'll see if me and my girlfriend aren't busy that day."

You make the same implication that you are taken without making any implication that they asked you for a coffee on some sort of romantic premise.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's a really good idea however it's a bit too direct for some peoples tastes I feel, you can have the same effect by saying
"Hey, sure we can go for a coffee, just let me know what day and I'll see if me and my girlfriend aren't busy that day."

You make the same implication that you are taken without making any implication that they asked you for a coffee on some sort of romantic premise.
Yeah, true. Go for that one then OP. I think it’s just because i’m a direct person in general, so that’s my kind of style.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's a really good idea however it's a bit too direct for some peoples tastes I feel, you can have the same effect by saying
"Hey, sure we can go for a coffee, just let me know what day and I'll see if me and my girlfriend aren't busy that day."

You make the same implication that you are taken without making any implication that they asked you for a coffee on some sort of romantic premise.
I would prefer to say it that way, since I’m not sure what she wants, she could just want friendship, I’m not entirely sure.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would prefer to say it that way, since I’m not sure what she wants, she could just want friendship, I’m not entirely sure.
Just tell your partner and see what she says, if she's cool with you making female friends, then go for the coffee and at some point during the conversation mention your girlfriend, this tells the girl who invited you for the coffee that your taken and doesn't seem forced like your trying to make it obvious. While your there if she asks for your snap or number shes more than likely interested, if she compliments you, she's probably interested.
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Zarek
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#17
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Coffee is one of those ambivalent date requests. It might be nothing, but could well signify romantic interest. Consequently rejection needs a bit of sensitive handling. If you don’t want to I think it’s best just to be too busy. Otherwise go and you only have to break it to her if she asks you out more overtly. Plus you can probably bring your partner in to the conversation innocently over a latte.
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candydiva
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Ppl make tons of assumptions.... how can anyone live a real life when they feel obligated to declare every social interaction to their partner in this apparently significant way?

That seems a lil' pompous and narcissistic to me...like hey look at me I know it's a romantic approach and I must declare potential love interest on her part.....which u don't know, not yet, and yeah everyone at uni goes out for coffee with everyone all the time... from my pov it's a basic bennie of student life...

I go on coffee dates hookups etc. and only tell master if he/she is fun that I wanna meet them again.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by candydiva)
Ppl make tons of assumptions.... how can anyone live a real life when they feel obligated to declare every social interaction to their partner in this apparently significant way?

That seems a lil' pompous and narcissistic to me...like hey look at me I know it's a romantic approach and I must declare potential love interest on her part.....which u don't know, not yet, and yeah everyone at uni goes out for coffee with everyone all the time... from my pov it's a basic bennie of student life...

I go on coffee dates hookups etc. and only tell master if he/she is fun that I wanna meet them again.
Not everyone has an open relationship with a master though candy :P
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candydiva
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Not everyone has an open relationship with a master though candy :P
yeah i know... that's y I struggle with the drama smtimes lol! If ppl can't handle the coffee chat sit wat happens when she finds him subscribing to OF or ogling Snap girls?
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