How to reject someone who hasn’t asked you out yet?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
I walked home with a guy after one of our classes once and we chatted. He seems like a nice guy and we had a good conversation and exchanged social media’s. I didn’t think anything of it. Then he send me a message asking if I want to study with him sometime. It came across as a little romantic and im not interested in dating atm so I said maybe we could do a group thing in our class, to kinda drop a hint that I wasn’t interested. He then says he meant just the two of us. I didn’t really say yes or no I just left it open. I still wasn’t sure if he liked me so I didn’t want to come across as rude because he’d be a nice guy to have as a friend in my class to study with. He then sent another message a couple days later asking how my day was followed by a kiss on the end (which he didn’t do before). I’m pretty sure this guy likes me but as he hasn’t explicitly asked me out I don’t know how to reject him without coming across as one of those ‘I’ve got a boyfriend’ girls. What can I say/do that will let him know I don’t like him?
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Native087
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#2
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give him the old blank or tell him no next time he asks.

b short and not sweet
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candydiva
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Wait what?! So he went from being "nice guy" to "let him know I don't like him..."

If u r serious u can send a note that says "Thx for ur offer. I am not into u. But if u want friendzone study partner that's OK library only and never alone with me" That will give the xact message u seem to want to send with zero ambiguity.

U are entitled to ur feelings ofc. Nobody should say different than that... but tbh u rlly don't seem to have a good plan here. His intentions r clear.

If u try to play this another way, any other way, it will be ambiguous and u will further the harmful and widespread image of girls as deceitful, conniving and unable to speak the truth about their feelings when they want to dump the dude into the friendzone.

Speaking personally trying to be a "nice girl" in this harmful way is worse than stating wat I said above.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by candydiva)
Wait what?! So he went from being "nice guy" to "let him know I don't like him..."

If u r serious u can send a note that says "Thx for ur offer. I am not into u. But if u want friendzone study partner that's OK library only and never alone with me" That will give the xact message u seem to want to send with zero ambiguity.

U are entitled to ur feelings ofc. Nobody should say different than that... but tbh u rlly don't seem to have a good plan here. His intentions r clear.

If u try to play this another way, any other way, it will be ambiguous and u will further the harmful and widespread image of girls as deceitful, conniving and unable to speak the truth about their feelings when they want to dump the dude into the friendzone.

Speaking personally trying to be a "nice girl" in this harmful way is worse than stating wat I said above.
I meant i don’t like him in a romantic way. I can think he’s a nice person and not want to date him, they aren’t mutually exclusive. I don’t think I’m being deceitful just by talking to him. Your suggestion of what to say is helpful though.
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redoubtable
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(Original post by candydiva)
Wait what?! So he went from being "nice guy" to "let him know I don't like him..."

If u r serious u can send a note that says "Thx for ur offer. I am not into u. But if u want friendzone study partner that's OK library only and never alone with me" That will give the xact message u seem to want to send with zero ambiguity.

U are entitled to ur feelings ofc. Nobody should say different than that... but tbh u rlly don't seem to have a good plan here. His intentions r clear.

If u try to play this another way, any other way, it will be ambiguous and u will further the harmful and widespread image of girls as deceitful, conniving and unable to speak the truth about their feelings when they want to dump the dude into the friendzone.

Speaking personally trying to be a "nice girl" in this harmful way is worse than stating wat I said above.
omg all these acronyms give me a headache:lol:
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candydiva
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Thx for clarifying. I must say u weren't clear...that last sentence sounds like u don't like him at all not just in a romantic way. Being clear esp to him is very important. It is miserable for anyone when someone they are hot for denies them so wield ur power responsibly pls.
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barnetlad
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Please be clear and if necessary blunt. Do not build up anyone's hopes. Other than being the kindest thing to do, it may save you hassle or worse.
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ROTL94
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Say 'Hey, pal(v important), why are you ending your messages to me with kisses? Don't do that' and if it's not clear after that then he must be backwards.
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Hellohsjakodsmka
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Just tell him to stop in a nice way, I'm not sure how though
Good luck!
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Zarek
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Perhaps try delayed and slightly dismissive answers for a while longer and he might take the hint. If he asks you out more formally you can then deliver a polite rejection. Difficult these situations where you’re up for friendship with someone and will see them regularly.
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ashtolga23
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If you want to be direct, just say something like "sure we can go, but it's as friends right? I don't want to lead you on so I thought I'd check."

If you want to be indirect maybe just friend zone him passively by dropping in certain comments.
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BluMoon06
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I have a similar problem. I’m friends with a guy in my ICT class and we usually walk to class together and chat. Recently he’s been acting more friendly towards me and sitting really close. Then came the moment when I knew he liked me. He asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him on Disney+. I can’t actually do that so I politely said no and he said I could use his account. After 5mins of explaining I can’t he said he’ll figure it out and he’ll see me soon. I sent him a text saying how I like him as a friend but I’m not looking for anybody atm. He got the hint and now he just S chats to me like he does with everyone else
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Anonymous #2
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Pretend you have a boyfriend, just mention it in an unrelated conversation at some point. That way he won’t resent you and you guys can be friends if he still wants to
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