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My partner wants a second job. I don’t want him too

Me and my partner have been together for a good couple of years now. To the point where we kind of make decisions together. We are long distance. We only see each other on weekends.

He already works a full time job and is on a really good salary. The reason he wants a second job is for savings for our future.

I find this frustrating. As when he got his first full time job for the first year he was constantly sleeping all days on weekends and we barely got any time together and caused a lot of problems in the relationship. And this second job on top of his full time job will result in the same. He might be there physically but he won’t be mentally and we won’t really get much time together. I also worry for his health. I feel like I shouldn’t complain considering he’s doing it for our future but I feel like considering only seeing each other on weekends is challenging that this will make it even harder for us.

Am I being selfish or do I get to be annoyed?

Reply 1

JustOneMoreThing

It’s a reasonable response, have a talk with him and try to come to a compromise.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by JustOneMoreThing

It’s a reasonable response, have a talk with him and try to come to a compromise.

Thanks, he is such a strong minded person though it’s hard for him to ever agree with me

Reply 3

JustOneMoreThing

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks, he is such a strong minded person though it’s hard for him to ever agree with me

Do you have plans to make the relationship closer any time soon?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by JustOneMoreThing

Do you have plans to make the relationship closer any time soon?

Do you mean moving in together?

Reply 5

JustOneMoreThing

Original post by Anonymous

Do you mean moving in together?

No, not necessarily, just ending the long distance aspect of your relationship.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by JustOneMoreThing

No, not necessarily, just ending the long distance aspect of your relationship.

We won’t really be able to until we move in together which isn’t really supposed to be happening for another 4 years

Reply 7

HoldThisL

the debate here is how much he wants the job vs whether its actually good for the two of you

you're supposed to be moving in together in ~4 years? that's a long time and he may be trying to speed up the process, even if it doesn't seem like a worthwhile sacrifice to you it may be to him

on the other hand, if he has near literally no spare time, what's the point in your relationship? that depends on what you work out between you as far as seeing each other goes

Reply 8

JustOneMoreThing

Original post by Anonymous

We won’t really be able to until we move in together which isn’t really supposed to be happening for another 4 years

It seems like quite a jump to neglect time spent together to save up for your future.

You should really be focusing on your relationship before any of that, but that’s my two cents, I don’t know you nor your partner so my opinion here should be taken with a pinch of salt.

That being said I definitely think you should raise your concerns with him.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

The most important thing in life is spending time with loved ones, he seems to be choosing work over this quality time, which despite having good intentions he has the wrong mindset.

Work and money should never be a number one priority if he already has a decent amount. YOU should be his number one priority but that is my opinion.

Family and loved ones come first.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

That’s my view as well. And his is not. So it makes me question whether we are right for each other or not

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

That’s my view as well. And his is not. So it makes me question whether we are right for each other or not

I think the difference in these views could be problematic in many other ways for the relationship especially further down the line if you're wanting to be with him long term.
Some people are more family orientated than others, ideally you'd want to be with someone who shares the same view as you. I had the same problem with my ex and the relationship didn't work because of these differences.