Can someone mark this exam out of 30? boutta go into my first set of mocks

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How Stevenson describes the setting to create tension in this extract.
How Stevenson uses setting to create tension in the novel as a whole.

Throughout the epistolary narrative of ‘The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’, Stevenson’s cogent use of intricately crafted and vivid depictions of a nocturnal London construct a gradual buildup of tension that consequently culminates in the novella’s subsequent events, during the events of the extract given Utterson follows Poole through the moonlit, windy nighttime air to the square. The moon, the wind and the desertion of the streets fill Utterson with a sense of foreboding. Now outside Jekyll’s laboratory, Poole dabs his brow with a handkerchief. Despite the chill, Poole’s anxiety has caused him to break into a sweat. As they enter the dissecting room, Poole says a prayer “God grant there be nothing wrong” the mention of God and reoccurring motif of religion throughout the rest of the novella links to the gothic convention of science against religion and the ‘Theory of Evolution’ by Charles Darwin which brought a dichotomy in Victorian society as more began to forsake religion and turn to modern innovation rather than traditional conservative views thus the phrase ‘empty as a Church’ used during the midnight walk between Utterson and Enfield in section 1 and evident through Lanyon’s sentiment towards Jekyll’s current experiments which he describes as ‘Unscientific balderdash’ which creates tension between society and scientists alike and unravels the hypocrisy of Victorian society as they continue to uphold religious standards to a high value that must be attained to achieve high status and admiration while those who possess such prestige do not truly believe in these values to begin with hence the reason of Jekyll’s experiments in the first place. He believes he can surpass God by reducing his sinful nature to a mere moral extension of his being demonstrating how Jekyll’s passion is his hamartia which drives him into his delusion state of mind and inevitable downfall. Stevenson can also use this novella as a vehicle for his critique of the society he lived in, the ideologies and subtle messages within the novel can be used to challenge contrasting societal philosophies as a whole, that the eminently Victorian gentlemen is flawed as Stevenson was himself, Stevenson could be implying that he believes religion will triumph over science and is using the consequences of Jekyll’s actions as a catalyst to instill fear into the reader and general audience and perhaps to deter any scientist from going beyond their realm.

Stevenson employs pathetic fallacy and personification to reinforce the sense of dread. The personified moon is described as “laying on her back as though the wind had tilted her” this is a famous pattern in gothic horror that elements of the landscape and atmosphere serve to forebode the changing fate of the characters, most notably Jekyll’s unnatural metamorphosis into Hyde. Here, the blustery night and the familiar haunted street of Jekyll’s laboratory is enough to prompt fear and suspense, Stevenson further develops this tone of dread through the description of the trees which is described as “lashing themselves along the railing”, this image of self-destruction parallels Jekyll’s actions as the egregious Hyde and ultimately the taking of his own life. The dramatic tension in the extract gradually builds into the conclusion and provides the novella with some of its highest points. Stevenson uses this device to grip the reader and leave them on edge as they continue to await the unpredictable events that are about to take place later within the section of the novella.

Examples of tension are often demonstrated throughout the novella; this is because of how Stevenson shapes the plot, so the absolute picture is not exposed until the very end but instead revealed through small clues that are learned through Utterson’s perspective which are questioned by the reader and Utterson alike, the confusions and contradictions are what creates tension. Stevenson creates this through a striking and gritty description of a fog covered Soho, which already forms a sense of tension due to this distinct area being densely populated and crime-ridden and is described by Enfield as “somewhere at the end of the world” the “great chocolate colored pall” in which Utterson drives through to get to Hydes’s quarters in section 4 dominates the extract creating an oppressive and tense atmosphere and forms a distorted view that is used to mask the truth which is another form of gothic convention where the weather changes to forebode the changing fate of the characters. The use of the simile “a glow of a rich, lucid brown, like the light of some same conflagration” creates a hellish vision which Utterson perceives to be “some city in a nightmare”. Nightmares are a gothic literary tradition and are used as a form of foreshadowing and is another reoccurring motif in the novel as it also refers to Utterson’s dream of Hyde where it says “even in his dreams, it had no face or one that baffled him and melted before his eyes” Stevenson makes use of nightmares to highlight the way of how Hyde’s evil influence even before he has even set eyes upon him has the power to shake the rational and unimaginative character of Utterson to the very core and is used to depict his emotions in a more dramatic and tense manner thus creating an atmosphere of mystery and tension, because it shuts out the light from the sun apart from the “haggard shaft of daylight” the fog creates an artificial twilight which has a number of degrees and hues...like the backend of evening” Stevenson also uses this motif at ‘The Incident at The Window’ where a “premature twilight” has settled over the caught at the rear of Jekyll’s property, in both instances the twilight is used to suggest darkness as an unnatural stain on the light and is allegorical to how Hyde is an unnatural stain on Jekyll who in contrast is the “very pink of proprieties”. Not only does the fog obscure vision to create a disorienting vision of reality however where it’s “swirling wreathes” caused “changing glimpses” of Utterson’s surroundings, it is also a metaphor for the mystery which shrouds and envelops Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for most of the novel. Most of the key scenes in the novella are in line with the gothic convention where the most important events take place at night, in darkness or in fog, when the fog eventually lifts a little in the extract it is only to enumerate the unpleasant elements in the surroundings such as a dingy street and a “gin-palace” as well as the people who inhabit it such as the “many ragged children huddled in doorways” and the many women leaving their homes for a glass of gin, which was known as the ‘mother’s ruin’: lower class women taste for it scandalized those in the ‘polite’ society. The dirt, poverty and references to alcohol and penny numbers or cheap, trashy newspapers which entertained their readers with tales of murderers and execution of high women would’ve created tension as Victorian readers would associate all these elements with criminality and degeneracy. Stevenson’s location for Hyde’s quarters clearly demonstrates to his readers Hyde’s affinity for everything that is and immoral about the human condition.

The theme of doubling is found throughout the text to create mystery and tension, London is depicted as a city with two halves where the “handsome houses of Cavendish square that citadel of medicine sit cheek by jowl with the slums of Soho frequented by Mr. Hyde”, this is nowhere more evident than in the description of the street at the beginning of the novel where the rear entrance of Jekyll’s laboratory is to be found. The door is blistered and distained, it is a stain on an otherwise very pleasant street which has “freshly painted shutters, well-polished brasses and general cleanliness and gaiety of note” not only is it so obviously out of place that it causes mystery but also Stevenson is using Victorian protocols for not gossiping to his advantage as he does not allow Enfield to disclose who the name was on the cheque and Utterson to in turn disclose that he knows very well whose the house belongs to , in order to sustain the mystery a little longer. It is only later that we find out that the same building has an elegant façade on another sqaure “the door of which...wore a great air of wealth and comfort” that we realize Jekyll’s house is a physical manifestation of his double nature. This would’ve been particularly shocking for Stevenson’s Victorian readership as Cesare Lombroso’s theory of atavism was closely linked to anxieties about criminality and class. The criminal class was peopled by evolutionary throwbacks luring the established boundaries between these degenerates embodied by Mr. Hyde and the respectable professional class embodied by De Jekyll would’ve caused unbearable tension and anxiety in the Victorian reader. It is indeed the shocking realization that criminals are not confined to the slums and evil can exist within everyone, even himself.

Elsewhere in the novel, Stevenson uses elements of gothic literature to create mystery and tension. The novel’s preoccupation of monstrosity is apparent in Stevenson’s descriptions of Hyde’s atavist appearance and behavior although when Enfield and Utterson attempt to describe him, they cannot quite put their finger on what about Hyde that makes him so monstrous. Enfield describes him as an “extraordinary looking man, and yet I really can name nothing out of the way” and equally Utterson struggles to explain the “hitherto unknown disgust, loathing and fear” which he regards Hyde. Hyde’s lack of background also creates mystery, He seems to know no one for example Jekyll’s servants “see very little of him” and “his family could nowhere be traced” and there are no photographs of him to aid the police in the manhunt. His unpredictable behavior causes tension because he is a constant threat to his arbitrarily chosen victims, he is described as having a “great flame of anger” which shows his unpredictable and destructive nature could so easily flare out of control, he “tramples calmly” over the little girl, the epitome of purity and innocence purely because she is in his way and there seems to be in little to no motive to his sadistic attack on Danvers Carew other than the old man had seemed to exhume “such an innocent and old world kindness” that it triggers a violent reaction in the callous and wanton demeanor of Hyde.
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(Original post by aqilt)
How Stevenson describes the setting to create tension in this extract.
How Stevenson uses setting to create tension in the novel as a whole.

Throughout the epistolary narrative of ‘The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’, Stevenson’s cogent use of intricately crafted and vivid depictions of a nocturnal London construct a gradual buildup of tension that consequently culminates in the novella’s subsequent events, during the events of the extract given Utterson follows Poole through the moonlit, windy nighttime air to the square. The moon, the wind and the desertion of the streets fill Utterson with a sense of foreboding. Now outside Jekyll’s laboratory, Poole dabs his brow with a handkerchief. Despite the chill, Poole’s anxiety has caused him to break into a sweat. As they enter the dissecting room, Poole says a prayer “God grant there be nothing wrong” the mention of God and reoccurring motif of religion throughout the rest of the novella links to the gothic convention of science against religion and the ‘Theory of Evolution’ by Charles Darwin which brought a dichotomy in Victorian society as more began to forsake religion and turn to modern innovation rather than traditional conservative views thus the phrase ‘empty as a Church’ used during the midnight walk between Utterson and Enfield in section 1 and evident through Lanyon’s sentiment towards Jekyll’s current experiments which he describes as ‘Unscientific balderdash’ which creates tension between society and scientists alike and unravels the hypocrisy of Victorian society as they continue to uphold religious standards to a high value that must be attained to achieve high status and admiration while those who possess such prestige do not truly believe in these values to begin with hence the reason of Jekyll’s experiments in the first place. He believes he can surpass God by reducing his sinful nature to a mere moral extension of his being demonstrating how Jekyll’s passion is his hamartia which drives him into his delusion state of mind and inevitable downfall. Stevenson can also use this novella as a vehicle for his critique of the society he lived in, the ideologies and subtle messages within the novel can be used to challenge contrasting societal philosophies as a whole, that the eminently Victorian gentlemen is flawed as Stevenson was himself, Stevenson could be implying that he believes religion will triumph over science and is using the consequences of Jekyll’s actions as a catalyst to instill fear into the reader and general audience and perhaps to deter any scientist from going beyond their realm.

Stevenson employs pathetic fallacy and personification to reinforce the sense of dread. The personified moon is described as “laying on her back as though the wind had tilted her” this is a famous pattern in gothic horror that elements of the landscape and atmosphere serve to forebode the changing fate of the characters, most notably Jekyll’s unnatural metamorphosis into Hyde. Here, the blustery night and the familiar haunted street of Jekyll’s laboratory is enough to prompt fear and suspense, Stevenson further develops this tone of dread through the description of the trees which is described as “lashing themselves along the railing”, this image of self-destruction parallels Jekyll’s actions as the egregious Hyde and ultimately the taking of his own life. The dramatic tension in the extract gradually builds into the conclusion and provides the novella with some of its highest points. Stevenson uses this device to grip the reader and leave them on edge as they continue to await the unpredictable events that are about to take place later within the section of the novella.

Examples of tension are often demonstrated throughout the novella; this is because of how Stevenson shapes the plot, so the absolute picture is not exposed until the very end but instead revealed through small clues that are learned through Utterson’s perspective which are questioned by the reader and Utterson alike, the confusions and contradictions are what creates tension. Stevenson creates this through a striking and gritty description of a fog covered Soho, which already forms a sense of tension due to this distinct area being densely populated and crime-ridden and is described by Enfield as “somewhere at the end of the world” the “great chocolate colored pall” in which Utterson drives through to get to Hydes’s quarters in section 4 dominates the extract creating an oppressive and tense atmosphere and forms a distorted view that is used to mask the truth which is another form of gothic convention where the weather changes to forebode the changing fate of the characters. The use of the simile “a glow of a rich, lucid brown, like the light of some same conflagration” creates a hellish vision which Utterson perceives to be “some city in a nightmare”. Nightmares are a gothic literary tradition and are used as a form of foreshadowing and is another reoccurring motif in the novel as it also refers to Utterson’s dream of Hyde where it says “even in his dreams, it had no face or one that baffled him and melted before his eyes” Stevenson makes use of nightmares to highlight the way of how Hyde’s evil influence even before he has even set eyes upon him has the power to shake the rational and unimaginative character of Utterson to the very core and is used to depict his emotions in a more dramatic and tense manner thus creating an atmosphere of mystery and tension, because it shuts out the light from the sun apart from the “haggard shaft of daylight” the fog creates an artificial twilight which has a number of degrees and hues...like the backend of evening” Stevenson also uses this motif at ‘The Incident at The Window’ where a “premature twilight” has settled over the caught at the rear of Jekyll’s property, in both instances the twilight is used to suggest darkness as an unnatural stain on the light and is allegorical to how Hyde is an unnatural stain on Jekyll who in contrast is the “very pink of proprieties”. Not only does the fog obscure vision to create a disorienting vision of reality however where it’s “swirling wreathes” caused “changing glimpses” of Utterson’s surroundings, it is also a metaphor for the mystery which shrouds and envelops Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for most of the novel. Most of the key scenes in the novella are in line with the gothic convention where the most important events take place at night, in darkness or in fog, when the fog eventually lifts a little in the extract it is only to enumerate the unpleasant elements in the surroundings such as a dingy street and a “gin-palace” as well as the people who inhabit it such as the “many ragged children huddled in doorways” and the many women leaving their homes for a glass of gin, which was known as the ‘mother’s ruin’: lower class women taste for it scandalized those in the ‘polite’ society. The dirt, poverty and references to alcohol and penny numbers or cheap, trashy newspapers which entertained their readers with tales of murderers and execution of high women would’ve created tension as Victorian readers would associate all these elements with criminality and degeneracy. Stevenson’s location for Hyde’s quarters clearly demonstrates to his readers Hyde’s affinity for everything that is and immoral about the human condition.

The theme of doubling is found throughout the text to create mystery and tension, London is depicted as a city with two halves where the “handsome houses of Cavendish square that citadel of medicine sit cheek by jowl with the slums of Soho frequented by Mr. Hyde”, this is nowhere more evident than in the description of the street at the beginning of the novel where the rear entrance of Jekyll’s laboratory is to be found. The door is blistered and distained, it is a stain on an otherwise very pleasant street which has “freshly painted shutters, well-polished brasses and general cleanliness and gaiety of note” not only is it so obviously out of place that it causes mystery but also Stevenson is using Victorian protocols for not gossiping to his advantage as he does not allow Enfield to disclose who the name was on the cheque and Utterson to in turn disclose that he knows very well whose the house belongs to , in order to sustain the mystery a little longer. It is only later that we find out that the same building has an elegant façade on another sqaure “the door of which...wore a great air of wealth and comfort” that we realize Jekyll’s house is a physical manifestation of his double nature. This would’ve been particularly shocking for Stevenson’s Victorian readership as Cesare Lombroso’s theory of atavism was closely linked to anxieties about criminality and class. The criminal class was peopled by evolutionary throwbacks luring the established boundaries between these degenerates embodied by Mr. Hyde and the respectable professional class embodied by De Jekyll would’ve caused unbearable tension and anxiety in the Victorian reader. It is indeed the shocking realization that criminals are not confined to the slums and evil can exist within everyone, even himself.

Elsewhere in the novel, Stevenson uses elements of gothic literature to create mystery and tension. The novel’s preoccupation of monstrosity is apparent in Stevenson’s descriptions of Hyde’s atavist appearance and behavior although when Enfield and Utterson attempt to describe him, they cannot quite put their finger on what about Hyde that makes him so monstrous. Enfield describes him as an “extraordinary looking man, and yet I really can name nothing out of the way” and equally Utterson struggles to explain the “hitherto unknown disgust, loathing and fear” which he regards Hyde. Hyde’s lack of background also creates mystery, He seems to know no one for example Jekyll’s servants “see very little of him” and “his family could nowhere be traced” and there are no photographs of him to aid the police in the manhunt. His unpredictable behavior causes tension because he is a constant threat to his arbitrarily chosen victims, he is described as having a “great flame of anger” which shows his unpredictable and destructive nature could so easily flare out of control, he “tramples calmly” over the little girl, the epitome of purity and innocence purely because she is in his way and there seems to be in little to no motive to his sadistic attack on Danvers Carew other than the old man had seemed to exhume “such an innocent and old world kindness” that it triggers a violent reaction in the callous and wanton demeanor of Hyde.
This is a really good piece, but in a few places you sort of just explained the plotline- I suggest you cut this stuff down a bit and focus on deeper, more extensive analysis into quotations.

You've got ao1,2, and 3, so that's great, however, to get those higher marks you could fix spag errors where you've put a comma instead of a colon or semicolon, for example. or small spelling errors in the section of your text below which I've put in capitals.

You've also used a lot of high-level vocab, which is awesome, but overusing them can make the text a little too chunky, so keep this in mind for your next essay.

Last bit of advice, keep your sentences a little shorter, cause this: 'His unpredictable BEHAVIOR (shld be behaviour) causes tension because he is a constant threat to his arbitrarily chosen victims, he is described as having a “great flame of anger” which shows his unpredictable and destructive nature could so easily flare out of control, he “tramples calmly” over the little girl, the epitome of purity and innocence purely because she is in his way and there seems to be in little to no motive to his sadistic attack on Danvers Carew other than the old man had seemed to exhume “such an innocent and OLD WORLD (shld be old-world, so not spelling, but I'm a little nitpicky so you can just leave it.) kindness” that it triggers a violent reaction in the callous and wanton DEMEANOR (shld be demeanour) of Hyde.' is too long for just one sentence.

My overall mark would be 22/30, but by fixing those few spag errors, it's an easy 25 for you, well done!
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aqilt
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(Original post by netflix84)
This is a really good piece, but in a few places you sort of just explained the plotline- I suggest you cut this stuff down a bit and focus on deeper, more extensive analysis into quotations.

You've got ao1,2, and 3, so that's great, however, to get those higher marks you could fix spag errors where you've put a comma instead of a colon or semicolon, for example. or small spelling errors in the section of your text below which I've put in capitals.

You've also used a lot of high-level vocab, which is awesome, but overusing them can make the text a little too chunky, so keep this in mind for your next essay.

Last bit of advice, keep your sentences a little shorter, cause this: 'His unpredictable BEHAVIOR (shld be behaviour) causes tension because he is a constant threat to his arbitrarily chosen victims, he is described as having a “great flame of anger” which shows his unpredictable and destructive nature could so easily flare out of control, he “tramples calmly” over the little girl, the epitome of purity and innocence purely because she is in his way and there seems to be in little to no motive to his sadistic attack on Danvers Carew other than the old man had seemed to exhume “such an innocent and OLD WORLD (shld be old-world, so not spelling, but I'm a little nitpicky so you can just leave it.) kindness” that it triggers a violent reaction in the callous and wanton DEMEANOR (shld be demeanour) of Hyde.' is too long for just one sentence.

My overall mark would be 22/30, but by fixing those few spag errors, it's an easy 25 for you, well done!
yeah I used word but I guess it was autocorrecting to the US spellings of the words, anyway thank you so much for the feedback! really appreciated
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netflix84
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(Original post by aqilt)
yeah I used word but I guess it was autocorrecting to the US spellings of the words, anyway thank you so much for the feedback! really appreciated
yeah word's pretty annoying in that sense, but np and I hope your mocks go well : )
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(Original post by netflix84)
yeah word's pretty annoying in that sense, but np and I hope your mocks go well : )
Thank you! Also what grade would a 25 translate into? and what areas should I cut down because this essay is very long.
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Thank you! Also what grade would a 25 translate into? and what areas should I cut down because this essay is very long.
in terms of 9-1 grading, 25 would be a 7-8 ish, depending on what other people got.
and ill just paste some sentences below which I feel are too long and maybe put brackets around the words you can take out.
1) ill just edit them a bit tho so you get what I'm talking abt:
'Throughout the epistolary narrative of ‘The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’, Stevenson’s cogent use of vivid depictions of a nocturnal London gradually builds-up tension, that culminates subsequently in the novella'
- I know this is the first sentence and its gotta be impressive, but I just think that there are too many descriptive words. the edited version is brief and clearly explains your point.

2)Poole says a prayer “God grant there be nothing wrong” the mention of God and reoccurring motif of religion throughout the rest of the novella links to gothic ideals of science against religion. The ‘Theory of Evolution’ by Charles Darwin also brought a dichotomy in Victorian society as more began to forsake religious and traditional views, and instead follow modern innovation. {Thus the phrase ‘empty as a Church’ is used during the midnight walk between Utterson and Enfield in section 1 and evident through Lanyon’s sentiment towards Jekyll’s current experiments which he describes as ‘Unscientific balderdash’ which creates tension between society and scientists alike and unravels the hypocrisy of Victorian society as they continue to uphold religious standards to a high value that must be attained to achieve high status and admiration while those who possess such prestige do not truly believe in these values to begin with hence the reason of Jekyll’s experiments in the first place.}
-alright this whole section in the curly brackets needs to be shortened down- think about whether the last part really adds anything to your point- if it does, then make it a new sentence.
3)' Here, the blustery night and the familiar haunted street of Jekyll’s laboratory is enough to prompt fear and suspense, Stevenson further develops this tone...'
-see, this is an example of where i'd break the sentence- its not that the first one is too long (cause it really isn't) it just would flow better if there was a full stop after 'suspense'. and add a moreover or something before putting in the word 'Here'.
4) 'Elsewhere in the novel, Stevenson uses elements of gothic literature to create mystery and tension.'
- I'm pretty sure you'd already spoken about gothic elements being part of the build-up of tension already, so maybe you could cut out some stuff from either paragraph where it talks about gothic stuff, and then put them together so you don't have too many paragraphs.

hope that helps, sorry i could do much more.
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aqilt
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(Original post by netflix84)
in terms of 9-1 grading, 25 would be a 7-8 ish, depending on what other people got.
and ill just paste some sentences below which I feel are too long and maybe put brackets around the words you can take out.
1) ill just edit them a bit tho so you get what I'm talking abt:
'Throughout the epistolary narrative of ‘The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’, Stevenson’s cogent use of vivid depictions of a nocturnal London gradually builds-up tension, that culminates subsequently in the novella'
- I know this is the first sentence and its gotta be impressive, but I just think that there are too many descriptive words. the edited version is brief and clearly explains your point.

2)Poole says a prayer “God grant there be nothing wrong” the mention of God and reoccurring motif of religion throughout the rest of the novella links to gothic ideals of science against religion. The ‘Theory of Evolution’ by Charles Darwin also brought a dichotomy in Victorian society as more began to forsake religious and traditional views, and instead follow modern innovation. {Thus the phrase ‘empty as a Church’ is used during the midnight walk between Utterson and Enfield in section 1 and evident through Lanyon’s sentiment towards Jekyll’s current experiments which he describes as ‘Unscientific balderdash’ which creates tension between society and scientists alike and unravels the hypocrisy of Victorian society as they continue to uphold religious standards to a high value that must be attained to achieve high status and admiration while those who possess such prestige do not truly believe in these values to begin with hence the reason of Jekyll’s experiments in the first place.}
-alright this whole section in the curly brackets needs to be shortened down- think about whether the last part really adds anything to your point- if it does, then make it a new sentence.
3)' Here, the blustery night and the familiar haunted street of Jekyll’s laboratory is enough to prompt fear and suspense, Stevenson further develops this tone...'
-see, this is an example of where i'd break the sentence- its not that the first one is too long (cause it really isn't) it just would flow better if there was a full stop after 'suspense'. and add a moreover or something before putting in the word 'Here'.
4) 'Elsewhere in the novel, Stevenson uses elements of gothic literature to create mystery and tension.'
- I'm pretty sure you'd already spoken about gothic elements being part of the build-up of tension already, so maybe you could cut out some stuff from either paragraph where it talks about gothic stuff, and then put them together so you don't have too many paragraphs.

hope that helps, sorry i could do much more.
No need to be sorry, your help has been fantastic and much appreciated! Have a great day!
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