What to do in free time/How to make friends

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Stanza03
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#1
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Due to the half term this week I've become increasingly worried that I won't cope with university.

I am a very social person (at times antisocial) especially with first encounters I can come off very strong in my personality and I'm scared that will turn people away. Also with flatmates I'm scared they are gonna be people I can't get alone with.

This half term has triggered me feeling like this because I'm scared of what I will do during all this free time I have at university. I've just been sleeping all week and it gets boring just sleeping, going through Netflix, Social media and stuff like that. I want to go out and do something and I'm just scared that I won't be able to do that next year if COVID isn't sorted or that I won't make friends to do that with.

Another thing I'm scared about is making friends. The university I really want to go isn't compus based it's just one building for the college and I'm scared that I won't make any friends as large spaces make me feel anxious so I'll just slink off to a corner.

So how do I overcome my fears?
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TheMightyKind
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#2
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(Original post by Stanza03)
Due to the half term this week I've become increasingly worried that I won't cope with university.

I am a very social person (at times antisocial) especially with first encounters I can come off very strong in my personality and I'm scared that will turn people away. Also with flatmates I'm scared they are gonna be people I can't get alone with.

This half term has triggered me feeling like this because I'm scared of what I will do during all this free time I have at university. I've just been sleeping all week and it gets boring just sleeping, going through Netflix, Social media and stuff like that. I want to go out and do something and I'm just scared that I won't be able to do that next year if COVID isn't sorted or that I won't make friends to do that with.

Another thing I'm scared about is making friends. The university I really want to go isn't compus based it's just one building for the college and I'm scared that I won't make any friends as large spaces make me feel anxious so I'll just slink off to a corner.

So how do I overcome my fears?
I can understand it can be nerve wracking when you are new to university but trust me, it isn't so bad. Maybe join a society/volunteer or a sports activity you like (which is not COVID restricted)? Or knock on a flatmate's door and see how they are doing. Everyone will also feel the same so trust me you are not alone in this. If you feel that you can't get along, don't worry, you will always meet new people in your walk in life and at some point, you will find people who have just as strong personality as you and are like minded. Take care. Binge watching netflix isn't so bad, it's nice to have self-care. So don't beat yourself about it too much.
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Stanza03
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(Original post by TheMightyKind)
I can understand it can be nerve wracking when you are new to university but trust me, it isn't so bad. Maybe join a society/volunteer or a sports activity you like (which is not COVID restricted)? Or knock on a flatmate's door and see how they are doing. Everyone will also feel the same so trust me you are not alone in this. If you feel that you can't get along, don't worry, you will always meet new people in your walk in life and at some point, you will find people who have just as strong personality as you and are like minded. Take care. Binge watching netflix isn't so bad, it's nice to have self-care. So don't beat yourself about it too much.
The uni I really want to go to their societies aren't that active so I'm bummed about that but I've heard that some accomodations have social events so hopefully I can make some friends there.

I guess I have such a high expectation for university that it scares me if it's like I've imagined it to be because my high school and college experience wasn't good at all. I just don't want to be disappointed with university.

Hopefully I do just the intial fear really.

Hahah i have been it's not so bad but after a while it gets boring.
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TheMightyKind
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(Original post by Stanza03)
The uni I really want to go to their societies aren't that active so I'm bummed about that but I've heard that some accomodations have social events so hopefully I can make some friends there.

I guess I have such a high expectation for university that it scares me if it's like I've imagined it to be because my high school and college experience wasn't good at all. I just don't want to be disappointed with university.

Hopefully I do just the intial fear really.

Hahah i have been it's not so bad but after a while it gets boring.
I know how it feels. Another thing though, I don't think your college or high school experience could have been all too bad. Maybe there were some good points that you overlooked? I mean, it all depends on how you want to view life really. There's been times where I also questioned my past experiences in primary school or college and then I realised that actually there were positive moments that I had; whether it was with friends, teachers or on my own. I also was expecting a lot lot more during my time in university when I was there. But now looking back, I think I really enjoyed my experience and overlooked some things that actually helped me grow into the person that I am right now. So it all depends on your perspective, how you choose to see things. Even negative experiences bring out the best in us and positive experiences shouldn't be overlooked. I am pretty sure you will have really positive experiences with making friends but also you don't always have to rely on external experiences like friendships and all to make you feel happy. You can be happy in your own company. You can decide what kind of company to keep; what kind of friends/relationships you want around you so you can set some serious standards. Hope that helps.
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Arden University
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Hi there,

For me at times like the situation that you are experiencing I learn't that facing your fears foot first is the best way to come to terms with your fears and no longer make them seem like fears. Getting yourself out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself to do something you would not usually do is the best step you can do to becoming more social around others, where you may feel out of sorts. Do your best to socialise with those around you and in your social bubble which will give you more confidence when everything goes back to some form of normality

Toni,
Student Ambassador
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