Am I right with being annoyed with him?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
my boyfriend is really grinding my gears this week and it's all because he can't see me until next week.
Basically his sister tested positive for coronavirus last week, and so he obviously has to self isolate for 2 weeks as he lives with her. it took some convincing though that he should be doing this because in his words "if i was going to get coronavirus from my sister i would've had it by now" so kind of saying he doesn't need to isolate because he's fine so he can come and see me. i told him no, don't be dumb, i have a family member who i live with that is high risk and don't want to put them in danger as well as working in a neonatal hospital ward (i'm a student nurse) and so i can't risk bringing anything into there either because those tiny babies couldn't fight it. anyway, in kind of a strop he agreed to isolate and that was all good. in that week however, my nephew is coming home from being away in the army and he wants to spend some time with me (he lives with me and my parents, we're kind of like brother and sister) he wants to go to some field near where i live that has a creepy past and supposedly is haunted, we were looking at going on ghost tours but they're all booked out so he decided this might do, i said yeah why not, after i come home from work and get a shower we can have a walk around, just me and him, and see if we can see anything (probably won't but we're keeping to the creepy halloween theme since there's not much else to do this year sadly) when i told my boyfriend (this is before i knew his sister tested positive) he said he would come along too because he has been before and so would know where to go, when he found out he had to isolate however, he hasn't stopped trying to pull out every excuse possible to get me to not go, to the point where he somehow "knew" the police would be roaming around that night and things which is ridiculous because he couldn't know that, just a stupid way at trying to keep me home. i started questioning why he had to do this every time he found out i was going somewhere with someone that wasn't him (he's done this so many times before) and he didn't like it. he started questioning why my nephew even wanted me to go with him, why can't his girlfriend? or another member of the family? like it's a crime to be with my own nephew who i've grown up with my whole life. that's when i got mad and told him next time i tell him i'm going somewhere or doing something without him, to just tell me to have a good time and leave it. that conversation was yesterday. today i told him my nephew wants to have a few drinks on saturday in my house because that's kind of all we used to do when we were in like 100% total lockdown haha oops. and again he started questioning it. half way through the conversation though he sends a message, deletes it 5 minutes later and then sends another that says "have a nice time". so i say thank you, some minutes go by, he sends another text, deletes it, and then sends another asking what i'm doing. and obviously i'm not stupid so i know hes still complaining but then thinking better of it and deleting the messages so i just let him know that, but he said he was just deleting "spelling mistakes" (he never does that, i've been with him for over a year, i think he forgets that sometimes) so i just left it there because i was too tired to dig it out of him what he was really saying about me doing stuff without him when he's isolating and there isn't a thing i can do about it?
i just kind of wanted to know whether after all of that, i'm the one in the wrong being too picky and pressing or if he is by questioning me spending time with family?
sorry it's long, i'm just worked up and needed to vent it out and hopefully have some advice given back to me about how i can have a conversation with him about getting obviously jealous of me doing things without him.
thank you for reading it you've made it this far.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 4 weeks ago
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Author : Rold Dahl
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Surnia
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#3
Report 4 weeks ago
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The serious conversation is probably best done face-to-face, so after your boyfriend is out of self-isolation and when you can safely meet somewhere. Jealousy is never a good trait, and he needs to sort himself out, because it can come over as controlling and not trusting what you are saying and who you are with. You can spend time with family and friends if you want, and it's a good sign when someone has a social life and shows a caring attitude towards others; it makes you someone worth dating, if you catch my drift...

Until then, do what you need to do, to feel comfortable about coronavirus and, coming from a family with members of the Forces, try and put your arsey boyfriend out of your mind and enjoy the time with your nephew. It's unlucky your boyfriend has to isolate, but you can see him other times; it's different with your nephew and I know there's limitations on when he can get home.

Think seriously about the attitude you are being shown, and take care :heart:
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Anonymous #3
#4
Report 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
my boyfriend is really grinding my gears this week and it's all because he can't see me until next week.
Basically his sister tested positive for coronavirus last week, and so he obviously has to self isolate for 2 weeks as he lives with her. it took some convincing though that he should be doing this because in his words "if i was going to get coronavirus from my sister i would've had it by now" so kind of saying he doesn't need to isolate because he's fine so he can come and see me. i told him no, don't be dumb, i have a family member who i live with that is high risk and don't want to put them in danger as well as working in a neonatal hospital ward (i'm a student nurse) and so i can't risk bringing anything into there either because those tiny babies couldn't fight it. anyway, in kind of a strop he agreed to isolate and that was all good. in that week however, my nephew is coming home from being away in the army and he wants to spend some time with me (he lives with me and my parents, we're kind of like brother and sister) he wants to go to some field near where i live that has a creepy past and supposedly is haunted, we were looking at going on ghost tours but they're all booked out so he decided this might do, i said yeah why not, after i come home from work and get a shower we can have a walk around, just me and him, and see if we can see anything (probably won't but we're keeping to the creepy halloween theme since there's not much else to do this year sadly) when i told my boyfriend (this is before i knew his sister tested positive) he said he would come along too because he has been before and so would know where to go, when he found out he had to isolate however, he hasn't stopped trying to pull out every excuse possible to get me to not go, to the point where he somehow "knew" the police would be roaming around that night and things which is ridiculous because he couldn't know that, just a stupid way at trying to keep me home. i started questioning why he had to do this every time he found out i was going somewhere with someone that wasn't him (he's done this so many times before) and he didn't like it. he started questioning why my nephew even wanted me to go with him, why can't his girlfriend? or another member of the family? like it's a crime to be with my own nephew who i've grown up with my whole life. that's when i got mad and told him next time i tell him i'm going somewhere or doing something without him, to just tell me to have a good time and leave it. that conversation was yesterday. today i told him my nephew wants to have a few drinks on saturday in my house because that's kind of all we used to do when we were in like 100% total lockdown haha oops. and again he started questioning it. half way through the conversation though he sends a message, deletes it 5 minutes later and then sends another that says "have a nice time". so i say thank you, some minutes go by, he sends another text, deletes it, and then sends another asking what i'm doing. and obviously i'm not stupid so i know hes still complaining but then thinking better of it and deleting the messages so i just let him know that, but he said he was just deleting "spelling mistakes" (he never does that, i've been with him for over a year, i think he forgets that sometimes) so i just left it there because i was too tired to dig it out of him what he was really saying about me doing stuff without him when he's isolating and there isn't a thing i can do about it?
i just kind of wanted to know whether after all of that, i'm the one in the wrong being too picky and pressing or if he is by questioning me spending time with family?
sorry it's long, i'm just worked up and needed to vent it out and hopefully have some advice given back to me about how i can have a conversation with him about getting obviously jealous of me doing things without him.
thank you for reading it you've made it this far.
Heyy✨ He’s just a bit jealous. Maybe he thought you telling him to self isolate was as excuse to stay alone with your nephew, as you told him before about going out with your nephew and then he said about going with you guys. So maybe he thinks (isolating) it’s an excuse for you to be with him. I understand he is like a brother, but he maybe doesn’t trust that. He might just feel a bit insecure and might not trust what you are trying to explain to him. Maybe past relationships? That’s why he might feel a bit unsure...maybe it happened before where the girl did cheat. That’s why he might feel insecure when you doing things without him. Bad experiences.
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Anonymous #3
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Report 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Heyy✨ He’s just a bit jealous. Maybe he thought you telling him to self isolate was as excuse to stay alone with your nephew, as you told him before about going out with your nephew and then he said about going with you guys. So maybe he thinks (isolating) it’s an excuse for you to be with him. I understand he is like a brother, but he maybe doesn’t trust that. He might just feel a bit insecure and might not trust what you are trying to explain to him. Maybe past relationships? That’s why he might feel a bit unsure...maybe it happened before where the girl did cheat. That’s why he might feel insecure when you doing things without him. Bad experiences.
Also, as you sais your nephew its in the army, im sure you dont even see him that much. He should understand he is your family and you can’t even see him that much. Even if he was not isolating, it would be nice to be alone with your nephew after not seeing him for long. Spending time with your family its a priority because we won’t have them forever, so we have to enjoy time with them. Your bf is showing himself as I said really insecure. Not controlling tho, im not sure if he is controlling you because I can only aee he is jealous but obviously he is not telling you what to do, only bringing up excuses. After isolation, talk to him about it and hopefully he’ll explain
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Bio 7
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#6
Report 4 weeks ago
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He sounds exhausting to deal with. What does he expect would happen, you start with incest?

He has some serious insecurity issues unless there is another reason why he doesn't like it. You need to talk to him to find out and make him see they're wrong.
Last edited by Bio 7; 4 weeks ago
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