Is this innapropriate?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I've recently started working at a small family owned restaurant about two weeks ago and I'm still training. I have this one older (but not THAT much older) male coworker who is increasingly flirtatious with me in various ways. He's verrrryyyyyy touchy-feely eg grabbing my shoulders a lot, standing very close to me, touching my lower back/waist when he moves past even when there's loads of space, he even massaged my shoulders the other day. He sometimes talks in a sexual way but in a very subtle, 'jokey' sense and is otherwise just generally V flirty with the way he talks to me.
I don't really see him doing these things to anybody else. For context we're both adults, he also mostly does all this in front of everyone else but it's a super chilled environment.
He is in a higher position than me so sort of a manager. I do find him physically attractive and to be honest it doesn't make me that uncomfortable, I just want to know whether it's normal to behave like that in a work environment. I'm clueless seeing as its my first job.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
This sounds like sexual harassment, especially as he is physically touching you which makes you uncomfortable. Report him to the higher management and explain his behaviours and how it is making you feel. What he's doing isn't okay.
0
reply
Zarek
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
You say it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, but there is certainly potential for abuse of power here and it seems at the very least unprofessional behaviour in a work. environment. Perhaps ask him politely not to touch you.
0
reply
Old Skool Freak
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've recently started working at a small family owned restaurant about two weeks ago and I'm still training. I have this one older (but not THAT much older) male coworker who is increasingly flirtatious with me in various ways. He's verrrryyyyyy touchy-feely eg grabbing my shoulders a lot, standing very close to me, touching my lower back/waist when he moves past even when there's loads of space, he even massaged my shoulders the other day. He sometimes talks in a sexual way but in a very subtle, 'jokey' sense and is otherwise just generally V flirty with the way he talks to me.
I don't really see him doing these things to anybody else. For context we're both adults, he also mostly does all this in front of everyone else but it's a super chilled environment.
He is in a higher position than me so sort of a manager. I do find him physically attractive and to be honest it doesn't make me that uncomfortable, I just want to know whether it's normal to behave like that in a work environment. I'm clueless seeing as its my first job.
I agree with the other posters...

For me, what sends alarm bells ringing... the triggers are:-

1) you say his behaviour is specifically directed to you
2) He's in a superior position to you (that's what made the high profile cases on the news etc. dodgy)

On the other hand, he could be trying his luck (there's always a bit of excitement when there's new totty about). and you say you're not too bothered by it... Also, there's the fact that he's quite open about it (he's not taking you aside). IF you don't like it or don't think he should be behaving like that, then politely but firmly tell him that you don't think it's appropriate. If he continues after that (or is overly harsh on you), then it suggests he knows what he's doing and is probably hiding behind the fact his family owns the restaurant (if that's the case),
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him to stop and if he doesn't stop, then its sexual harassment.
If you find him attractive and it doesn't make you uncomfortable, then maybe take it further, he obviously likes you, it will cause problems at work, however, usually, workplace relationships cause issues (don't sh*t where you eat)
0
reply
candydiva
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6
Report 4 weeks ago
#6
In other sits I am the first one to say u go girl... but not at work. This is dangerous. Coz tho' u might not mind - atm mind u, later there are gonna be problems - he prob does this to others. I rlly don't like ppl who abuse power in the workplace. If u habituate him he will continue to do this to others who may not feel as accommodating as u. It's highly invasive in a workplace when a power gradient exists and can be classed as sexual harassment. There are many layers to this problem and it's not all about u and him... fr instance another woman may have probs with a difft supe and see u and him and think oh no, it goes on everywhere and she can't be empowered to simply report coz she feels the workplace culture tolerates this misconduct.

Sooo practically.... can't u ask him to desist at work, but tell him u like him and can u meet like that outside the workplace?
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you travelling in the Uni student travel window (3-9 Dec) to go home for Christmas?

Yes (107)
28.23%
No - I have already returned home (50)
13.19%
No - I plan on travelling outside these dates (71)
18.73%
No - I'm staying at my term time address over Christmas (39)
10.29%
No - I live at home during term anyway (112)
29.55%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed