oglez92
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Hi everyone

I'm a bit of a dillema. I work and study. I'm also living with my mum. Before lockdown I was out the house pretty much every day. Whether I was at a lectures, at a gig, at the gym, or working in the office. Like many, I then had to stay at home and work (which I'm very lucky to be able to). Sadly though this has caused a strain on me and my mums relationship. I'll spare the details but she's changed. Basically her political opinions and views have become a lot more extreme. Everyday she has her had buried in her phone, the news on TV, listening to the radio. She's being going to protests. In fact the other day a guy came round to drop off some leaflets for her to pass around the town in support of their views. Whilst her views don't agree with mine, that's not the issue. It's the constant trying to cram it down my throat and that I need to "open my eyes". It's the constant anger and rants about politics.
She even said she's going to buy herself pepper spray to which I replied "do you even known how to use them? " to which she got angry with. "I need to be able to defend myself". "Well just stay at home and don't put yourself in a vulnerable situation" I replied to which she said "I'm not being told what to do at my time of life".

Thing is she could be vulnerable if she gets sick or catches anything. If I move out and there's a second lockdown then we'd be isolated. Saying that I think some time apart will do us good. I wanted to stay at home longer so that I can save for a deposit. I can move out and still put some money away but probably 6 times as slowly.

What are your thoughts? I need to move out I think and have a promising viewing for a shared house this weekend. I'd feel guilty but this might be the best thing for our relationship in the long run.
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netflix84
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(Original post by oglez92)
Hi everyone

I'm a bit of a dillema. I work and study. I'm also living with my mum. Before lockdown I was out the house pretty much every day. Whether I was at a lectures, at a gig, at the gym, or working in the office. Like many, I then had to stay at home and work (which I'm very lucky to be able to). Sadly though this has caused a strain on me and my mums relationship. I'll spare the details but she's changed. Basically her political opinions and views have become a lot more extreme. Everyday she has her had buried in her phone, the news on TV, listening to the radio. She's being going to protests. In fact the other day a guy came round to drop off some leaflets for her to pass around the town in support of their views. Whilst her views don't agree with mine, that's not the issue. It's the constant trying to cram it down my throat and that I need to "open my eyes". It's the constant anger and rants about politics.
She even said she's going to buy herself pepper spray to which I replied "do you even known how to use them? " to which she got angry with. "I need to be able to defend myself". "Well just stay at home and don't put yourself in a vulnerable situation" I replied to which she said "I'm not being told what to do at my time of life".

Thing is she could be vulnerable if she gets sick or catches anything. If I move out and there's a second lockdown then we'd be isolated. Saying that I think some time apart will do us good. I wanted to stay at home longer so that I can save for a deposit. I can move out and still put some money away but probably 6 times as slowly.

What are your thoughts? I need to move out I think and have a promising viewing for a shared house this weekend. I'd feel guilty but this might be the best thing for our relationship in the long run.
Honestly, I think moving out might be the best idea.

Living like that is incredibly frustrating (I'm saying this from experience) and its best to get out of there as soon as possible.

At the same time, keep in touch with your mum and let her live out this politically passionate phase- unless ofc it's not a phase, then you should tell her straight up to keep her opinions to herself and not carry around pepper spray cause that's 100% illegal
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oglez92
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(Original post by netflix84)
Honestly, I think moving out might be the best idea.

Living like that is incredibly frustrating (I'm saying this from experience) and its best to get out of there as soon as possible.

At the same time, keep in touch with your mum and let her live out this politically passionate phase- unless ofc it's not a phase, then you should tell her straight up to keep her opinions to herself and not carry around pepper spray cause that's 100% illegal
Thanks for responding.

Yeah my minds made up. I've got a viewing on Sunday and I've got a great feeling about it!
It's my mums birthday this month too. Her 60th.. So I may move out before then. I did ask if she wanted to go out for a meal. But she said "I'm not going out wearing a mask like muzzled dog and being told what I can and can't do". Oooh kay then! I mean I do kind of feel guilty but at the same time with an attitude like that it's hard not to.
Yeah it's the extreme political views I can't deal with. Did you have similar issues?
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londonmyst
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Yes, I think that it is probably the right time for you to move out.

It sounds like your mother has got too deeply involved in activism and the lifestyle.
She might be keeping company with the lunatic fringes that opt out of the law as a matter of habit whether due to personal cause or their own convenience and adopting their way of life.
My parents are both revolutionary tua socialists deeply entrenched in the fringes of activism.
I escaped before a level results were out and will probably never speak to them again.
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oglez92
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(Original post by londonmyst)
I escaped before a level results were out and will probably never speak to them again.
Wow seriously?! That's intense! I'm concerned now that my mum may go that way
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netflix84
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(Original post by oglez92)
Thanks for responding.

Yeah my minds made up. I've got a viewing on Sunday and I've got a great feeling about it!
It's my mums birthday this month too. Her 60th.. So I may move out before then. I did ask if she wanted to go out for a meal. But she said "I'm not going out wearing a mask like muzzled dog and being told what I can and can't do". Oooh kay then! I mean I do kind of feel guilty but at the same time with an attitude like that it's hard not to.
Yeah it's the extreme political views I can't deal with. Did you have similar issues?
Jeez 'muzzled dog' that's a little much I've gotta say; I'm glad you're finding a new place.
I did have a similar issue, but it was about my parents taking complete control of my life, and I just couldn't cope, so I moved in with my brother while my parents were spending some time apart. I hated that I had to take advantage of their fight, but now I don't regret it. I have complete control over my choices and I'm glad for it.

so, I hope your viewing goes great!
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