trigger warning: loss, mental health, depression, anxiety
long story short i lost pretty much all my fiends this year bc i fell out with my absolute best friend in feb and it was my final year of secondary so i didn’t really have time to fit into another friend group. i have my boyfriend and literally 5 friends i don’t speak to a lot (but i speak to them the most) and everyone else i keep in touch with is an acquaintance pretty much (we keep a streak and/or we’re on each other’s private story but we don’t talk or meet up). i wanted halloween plans this year and i feel like i’ve just been rejected by everyone my boyfriend uninvited me from his plans and everyone else is busy with their friends who i’m not friends with. i just miss having friends so much but i have anxiety and i’m so bad at making them. im p sure i also struggle with depression (been referred to mental health services, been told by counsellors that i have jt but never been diagnosed officially) and my mental health makes it so difficult to make friends and i lost all my friends by being snappy which i tried so hard to keep in but then i was hurting my best friend unknowingly (getting ready with other people for example). i just feel absolutely no purpose