What is going on in the social dynamics of this situation?

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Anonymous #1
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There’s a woman at work who is good looking and very bubbly/extra very and has a lot of common sense with her job. However people agree that despite her assets she does moan a lot, stirs arguments and causes drama

It’s mainly the male collegues who say this she is good at her job but causes stress/stirs things. One if them said that he wasn’t bothered if she leaves or not because of how she is. However this same male collegue tends to joke with her, invites her to do personal work with her and seems quite close. Someone said they think that he fancies her.

This same male collegue told that Im great at the job, that I can get on with things without drama, that he can rely on me with work and that he knows I won’t gossip etc. He said that he appreciates me (I think because he fell out with the other collegues lol).

However he doesn’t chat to me like he does to her (to be fair I don’t have great social skills and can be a bit offish), nor invite me to do projects with him etc.

I’m just basing my question on just this, other experiences too, but do men generally prefer to be around attractive/chatty women even though they create drama?

I used to think that men avoided drama but I don’t know.

Im trying to analyse the situation, what is going on here?
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Anonymous #2
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Don't over analyse this too much- because you may be right and your colleague probably fancies that woman- or at least finds her attractive and likes to be around her.
Try being a little more friendly, and maybe invite him to work on projects together- then if you get close enough you can ask him what's up.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Don't over analyse this too much- because you may be right and your colleague probably fancies that woman- or at least finds her attractive and likes to be around her.
Try being a little more friendly, and maybe invite him to work on projects together- then if you get close enough you can ask him what's up.
I do try to be friendly (as I know I can be offish) but then he seems to back off a bit in his manner ie:he might just smirk a bit/ nod and not say anything. As he’s senior to me I try to let him take the lead with informal discussion etc as I do t want to be u professional.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I do try to be friendly (as I know I can be offish) but then he seems to back off a bit in his manner ie:he might just smirk a bit/ nod and not say anything. As he’s senior to me I try to let him take the lead with informal discussion etc as I do t want to be u professional.
then he might just be a bit of an ass, just saying.
besides, as long as you're respectful, there's nothing wrong in taking the lead before him in an informal discussion or taking this opportunity to talk to other colleagues
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
then he might just be a bit of an ass, just saying.
besides, as long as you're respectful, there's nothing wrong in taking the lead before him in an informal discussion or taking this opportunity to talk to other colleagues
Thanks I’l consider this 🙂

I mean to be fair he’s done nothing but support me apparantly he speaks highly of me to others and is always trying to take pressure off me (apart from these last 2 weeks).

I suppose the topic of my thread is do men tend to gravitate to outgoing/expressive chatty women who create some drama over quiet ones who don’t
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks I’l consider this 🙂

I mean to be fair he’s done nothing but support me apparantly he speaks highly of me to others and is always trying to take pressure off me (apart from these last 2 weeks).

I suppose the topic of my thread is do men tend to gravitate to outgoing/expressive chatty women who create some drama over quiet ones who don’t
ohh ok.

well id say its the loud ones that tend to attract more attention and drama, so i guess some men would notice them more and -contrary to popular opinion- i know a lot of men that love to get swept up in drama and all that bs, so that could be part of the reason
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ohh ok.

well id say its the loud ones that tend to attract more attention and drama, so i guess some men would notice them more and -contrary to popular opinion- i know a lot of men that love to get swept up in drama and all that bs, so that could be part of the reason
I always assumed generally men arn’t into the drama etc
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I always assumed generally men arn’t into the drama etc
yeah, I guess it differs.
I'd still say to not read too deeply into this whole thing- everyone's different.
but, I will say that I don't think all men consciously gravitate toward chatty and dramatic women, it's just what stands out most to them in a situation, so that's their point of focus until it all fizzles out.
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