Just got out of an abusive relationship

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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Hi. I am a 19 autistic girl currently residing at university. I had a nervous breakdown ending up in a crisis house where I met a 42 year old man. I got kicked out of my student housing and went to live with him. After 2 weeks of constant verbal abuse and sexual assaults, he got over a thousand pound off me. My family finally got me out because I was isolating myself and basically becoming anything so he would stop berating me.
I had to lie to him to get out and he proceeded to damage my property. I had to get the police involved in the case but decided not to take it to court.
Why did I believe that he loved me when he only wanted my money? And why do I still believe that I love him when he proceeded to blackmail me?
I have a multitude of mental health issues but I didn't believe I was vulnerable. I know I cannot go back to him but I was right to leave right?

I don't know why I keep having doubts - I am in therapy but I need to accept that he was not the person I thought he was.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.
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londonmyst
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Report 3 weeks ago
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You were right to leave .
Remember that you are an amazingly brave survivor who endured the criminal attacks of a vicious predator and managed to escape his clutches.
Don't forget that you did nothing wrong and are not responsible for any of the suffering that he imposed on you.


Do you have any favourite coping strategies or hobbies to help when life feels overwhelmingly negative?
I volunteer supporting the survivors of rape, honour abuse and other horrifying crimes to rebuild their lives.
Quite a few find it helpful to make use of art therapy, baking, writing in a journal, yoga or exercise workouts.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by londonmyst)
You were right to leave .
Remember that you are an amazingly brave survivor who endured the criminal attacks of a vicious predator and managed to escape his clutches.
Don't forget that you did nothing wrong and are not responsible for any of the suffering that he imposed on you.


Do you have any favourite coping strategies or hobbies to help when life feels overwhelmingly negative?
I volunteer supporting the survivors of rape, honour abuse and other horrifying crimes to rebuild their lives.
Quite a few find it helpful to make use of art therapy, baking, writing in a journal, yoga or exercise workouts.
Hi! Thank you so much for replying.

I used to knit and I am currently doing this cross stitch pattern for a cushion. I have been trying to get back into baking but it triggers him because I tried to cook for him but it sort of backfired.

I keep thinking that I could get him away from the drugs but I got messages from him accusing me of being a liar and how he will never forgive me for abandoning him but it ended up where I was living with two men over 40 and in a drug house essentially.

Is there anything that you believe would be beneficial? I have tried talking to sexual assault helplines as well as the university but the Uni wants me to take a year out to recover but I know if I do this everything will overwhelm me. The thing I don't understand is how I didn't notice it. He was trying to blackmail me into sending him money the other day so I told him to stuff it but I feel guilty because he told me he "has to raise money the bad way now" like it is my fault.
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