The Student Room Group

"She's that fat morbid chick with no friends." What I'm referred as...

I posted on these forums a couple times before so you probably already ‘know’ me.

My mum is a bipolar alcoholic.

My brother is an annoying bully. (Oh he bullies the cat too... do you remember?)

I’m a fat weirdo (12 stone 5”4... yeah I’m fat!)

My dad kicked the bucket in the end of Year 7.



High school sucks for me to be honest. It’s like some sick social experiment which places children into their ‘adult’ categories. I know within these two sentences, I appear to be some cynical whiny girl which I must admit, I probably am.

Since Year 7, when my friends ditched me because they were bullied for hanging around with the weird fat girl... it began. My failing quest to make friends. I fumbled in social faux pas during year 8 and slowly progressed to ‘social appropriateness’ in Year 9. I am now in Year 10 but still have no friends.

I’ll elaborate. In year nine, I became accepted into the ‘geeky’ group (I know it’s not good to stereotype but...). It was fine at the start but I struggled to understand the way they acted. Their social rules were unpredictable, like one minute saying a certain ‘something’ was normal but the next day this ‘something’ was totally weird. Or that them liking ‘Eragon’ or ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ was totally fine but you reading Nabokov, Orwell or Shakespeare was a god forbidden sin! Their freaky jokes extended to the point when they mocked me for my mum getting ‘DLA’. One of the members, the only boy in the group, altar boy, every boy in the year dislikes him, claims that my bipolar alcoholic mother has Down’s syndrome and is in a wheelchair. This may seem like they were bullies but they did this to one another all the time. 0.o

At the end of year nine, I decided to leave the group because I was even more socially appropriate than them and some people tried to diagnose me with Aspergers Syndrome! Then I began to talk to the ‘popular group’ more, they were like distant acquaintances to be honest. I had their msn and their bebo’s but they never really liked me. Neither did the geeks either... but the geeks disliked the fact that I extended my social standings so they began to ignore me as immature children do.

The popular group, I discovered, would never really accept me as it is too late to establish social order. Even if I got thin, ‘hot’, popular and rich I’d never quite be above the bottom of the pecking order- due to my late joining of the popularity ladder and my ‘weird’ past. I’m too poor to even afford a mobile contract and the paper round waiting list is two years long in my area *facepalm*.

In the end I’ve given up social interaction with my peers because in the end it seems like a waste of time. No group accepts me, one little bugger has a problem with me (btw I’ve tried more groups then the ‘geeks’ and the ‘populars’). With every bloody group, I don’t know why, they have one member that kicks and screams until I get kicked out. Obviously being the most recent member, I get the boot. Lovely! None of them ever interest me, so I have to act to be a fickle immature little brat to even fit in slightly. It requires a ridiculous amount of effort I can’t be bothered to put in.

However, I feel completely socially ******ed for not enjoying the company of my peers. And according to professionals, it makes me incredibly anti-social and ‘autistic’. I have to go to some idiotic ‘SEN’ meeting every single year to make small talk about my ‘targets’. It’s a place where they continuously patronize me with targets like ‘talk to my friends more’ or ‘be nicer to others’ or ‘make friends’. I just can’t associate with my peers at all! They bore the living crap out of me!

Am I a freak? Am I going to be socially ******ed and a loner for the rest of my life?

Ha... I’m probably going to die a miserable suicidal virgin. I mean ... who would want to date me never mind talk to me. My dating criteria would probably be... he has to be deaf, dumb and blind. I’m so silly and immature, I have a crush on a guy at school is so out of my league and probably gay (lol). :p:

Why do I have to be a pathetic whiny annoying fourteen year old girl?
I mean I’m that morbid chick with a scene bag and black eyeliner with that ‘pretty’ chubby face. That’s actually what someone called me 0.o Rofl... the new Spanish kid in my class called me ‘caliente’... sarcastically obviously.

Rant over...

Wth was that about?:s-smilie:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
I don't really know what to say but I wanted to offer you a well deserved hug.
Reply 2
:frown:

I agree with Coy Girl, you deserve a huge hug!

But never give up hope, the most important thing is that you're a NICE, decent person. The problem is, people often don't bother to find that side of you.

I know you have probably thought about this, and I'm sorry about mentioning it again", but have you tried any weight loss regimes?
Reply 3
*hugs* Can you move schools? If not then move schools for 6th form (if you plan to stay on) and start anew :smile:
Change schools!
Reply 5
Anonymous
In the end I’ve given up social interaction with my peers because in the end it seems like a waste of time. No group accepts me, one little bugger has a problem with me (btw I’ve tried more groups then the ‘geeks’ and the ‘populars’). With every bloody group, I don’t know why, they have one member that kicks and screams until I get kicked out. Obviously being the most recent member, I get the boot. Lovely! None of them ever interest me, so I have to act to be a fickle immature little brat to even fit in slightly. It requires a ridiculous amount of effort I can’t be bothered to put in.


That would be the one immediately above you in the 'pecking order'.
You seem very negative and cynical, blunt etc. Try, (and I know it's easy for me to say this) be more positive. People don't want to talk to someone who appears moody.

Even if you dislike these people, acting civilly won't give them any real legitimate reason to bully you. Then you'll realise that they just aren't nice people.

Or you could just start ignoring everything. Ignore wht they say, what they might think, what they do. Numb yourself to their taunts. Do you retaliate, hurl insults back or react in any way? They may well enjoy getting you steamed up and continue to do so as you react.

Do you get on with teachers? Do work well etc? This could be a good avenue for you to concentrate your energy in. And the results are rewarding if you keep at it.

Other than that, I can only suggest that you just keep going as you are - talk to the professionals, the teachers and try not to get involved in conflicts with the other kids.
Surely, there's a school with no cliques. :s-smilie:
Reply 8
god bless you love, hope you get through it.
Reply 9
truly amazing that you question why you have no friends with the way you talk about people now. maybe if you got off the high horse people would like you because you're not being condescending and 'fake'. grow up.
Reply 10
You don't really say what you want.. Do you want friends? If so, try joining out of school clubs. If not, continue to frequent your internet sites. Do you want to lose weight? Be hot? If you're looking to change, a change of appearance would most likely help, much more than changing schools which would just invite the exact same situation.
I was in a similar, though far less extreme, position (partially due to, I realise in hindsight, my own actions) from year seven until midway through year ten. My year all matured, the group boundries began to break down a little, and year eleven was pleasent enough.

Then, because my high school had no 6th form, we all moved, and I went to one 6th form with only two other from my high school. I found my own group of friends, most of whom had known each other since primary, who accepted me for who I was and became some of the dearest people to me in the world. I've just finished the best two years of my life.

What I'm trying to say, in my long and rambley way, is that, for some of us, high school really sucks. But, in my experience, it can turn around so quickly. It's a bit of a glum outlook, but if you think about it - if you're at rock bottom, things have no choice but to improve. You've just got to hang on in there.

That may or may not have helped. I'll stop rambleing now. Go to bed, Emma.

And have a huge hug, OP. PM me if you want.
Things get better in College.

I didn't believe it either but they do. I made a great group of friends as soon as I got into college.
Reply 13
doing a bit of maths in me head....you're not even THAT fat!

you're overweight - you're not obese yet, you're probably just a lil plump

morbid - far to harsh - google manuel uribe.............................that's what i thought
Anonymous
I posted on these forums a couple times before so you probably already ‘know’ me.

My mum is a bipolar alcoholic.

My brother is an annoying bully. (Oh he bullies the cat too... do you remember?)

I’m a fat weirdo (12 stone 5”4... yeah I’m fat!)

My dad kicked the bucket in the end of Year 7.



High school sucks for me to be honest. It’s like some sick social experiment which places children into their ‘adult’ categories. I know within these two sentences, I appear to be some cynical whiny girl which I must admit, I probably am.

Since Year 7, when my friends ditched me because they were bullied for hanging around with the weird fat girl... it began. My failing quest to make friends. I fumbled in social faux pas during year 8 and slowly progressed to ‘social appropriateness’ in Year 9. I am now in Year 10 but still have no friends.

I’ll elaborate. In year nine, I became accepted into the ‘geeky’ group (I know it’s not good to stereotype but...). It was fine at the start but I struggled to understand the way they acted. Their social rules were unpredictable, like one minute saying a certain ‘something’ was normal but the next day this ‘something’ was totally weird. Or that them liking ‘Eragon’ or ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ was totally fine but you reading Nabokov, Orwell or Shakespeare was a god forbidden sin! Their freaky jokes extended to the point when they mocked me for my mum getting ‘DLA’. One of the members, the only boy in the group, altar boy, every boy in the year dislikes him, claims that my bipolar alcoholic mother has Down’s syndrome and is in a wheelchair. This may seem like they were bullies but they did this to one another all the time. 0.o

At the end of year nine, I decided to leave the group because I was even more socially appropriate than them and some people tried to diagnose me with Aspergers Syndrome! Then I began to talk to the ‘popular group’ more, they were like distant acquaintances to be honest. I had their msn and their bebo’s but they never really liked me. Neither did the geeks either... but the geeks disliked the fact that I extended my social standings so they began to ignore me as immature children do.

The popular group, I discovered, would never really accept me as it is too late to establish social order. Even if I got thin, ‘hot’, popular and rich I’d never quite be above the bottom of the pecking order- due to my late joining of the popularity ladder and my ‘weird’ past. I’m too poor to even afford a mobile contract and the paper round waiting list is two years long in my area *facepalm*.

In the end I’ve given up social interaction with my peers because in the end it seems like a waste of time. No group accepts me, one little bugger has a problem with me (btw I’ve tried more groups then the ‘geeks’ and the ‘populars’). With every bloody group, I don’t know why, they have one member that kicks and screams until I get kicked out. Obviously being the most recent member, I get the boot. Lovely! None of them ever interest me, so I have to act to be a fickle immature little brat to even fit in slightly. It requires a ridiculous amount of effort I can’t be bothered to put in.

However, I feel completely socially ******ed for not enjoying the company of my peers. And according to professionals, it makes me incredibly anti-social and ‘autistic’. I have to go to some idiotic ‘SEN’ meeting every single year to make small talk about my ‘targets’. It’s a place where they continuously patronize me with targets like ‘talk to my friends more’ or ‘be nicer to others’ or ‘make friends’. I just can’t associate with my peers at all! They bore the living crap out of me!

Am I a freak? Am I going to be socially ******ed and a loner for the rest of my life?

Ha... I’m probably going to die a miserable suicidal virgin. I mean ... who would want to date me never mind talk to me. My dating criteria would probably be... he has to be deaf, dumb and blind. I’m so silly and immature, I have a crush on a guy at school is so out of my league and probably gay (lol). :p:

Why do I have to be a pathetic whiny annoying fourteen year old girl?
I mean I’m that morbid chick with a scene bag and black eyeliner with that ‘pretty’ chubby face. That’s actually what someone called me 0.o Rofl... the new Spanish kid in my class called me ‘caliente’... sarcastically obviously.

Rant over...

Wth was that about?:s-smilie:


I never really tried to clasify the groups of people at my school, although there definitely was the group of "perfect" people, pretty, popular, the boys into sports etc
You sound like an episode of Dawson's Creek. You're in secondary school, in Year 10. As soon as you get to 6th form or college or whatever you plan to do, you'll realise how ridiculous you sounded when you were in year 10. You'll realise that adult life isn't some high school drama, and that who you associate with isn't the be all and end all of life. I honestly don't want to patronise you, but grow up! It's school - you're not there to be the social butterfly, you're there to learn.

I spent my entire high school life as the 'witch' 'geek' 'greebo' and 'goth' and tbh, it did bother me for a while, but then I embraced it and lived up to my labels. The whole school knew who I was because I had laughed WITH them, not ran away and cried because they were laughing AT me. You just need to rise above it, realise that you're there to learn and that you will one day grow up to be an eloquent, independant woman and that you are whoever you want to be. I think you need to gain a little perspective here.
Are you just in year 10 now? If so i'd recommend moving to another school as it won't be a massive problem education wise as you've only just began your GCSEs. The same problems may arise there but you never know, you can start a new and try not to frighten them off. First impressions are key and if you walk into the school thinking you're not going to make friends so there's no point in trying, no ones going to think twice about being friends with you because they'll just think your the 'morbid new kid'.
Reply 17
CHANGE SCHOOL HUN
there are so many poeople that would loev to be friends with someone as intelligant and nice sounding as you
if you are feeling unconfident about how you look, there is no need to change, just try and be confident - its amazing how many people can fall for this and just accept you. corny i know but if you accept yourself then others will too.
maybe start working out? i dont mean just to lose weight, because your not exactly obese, but it will help clear your mind and cheer you up, trust me i exercise and use it like a drug. do a sport you enjoy, and as a bonus you will lose some weight.
big hug!
just chaneg school it sounds like the pople you are with are complete ttw@S
ur better than this. i wish you all the bst in life. x
They all sound like idiots the people in your year. I wouldn't worry about so you don't get on with them, some people are just horrible. By the way you sound Id be your friend, you sound nice. I agree with others u need a hug.
Reply 19
Profesh
That would be the one immediately above you in the 'pecking order'.


If only I could put that into your intellectual term. I tried to verbalise that thought but it sounded like a hyper twelve year old trying to describe the idea. *sigh*



On a different note...
Btw, I can't move schools whatsoever. This is the 'best' school for bulling and results in my town. I'm moving in year 12 though (thank god!)