I’m afraid i’ll never have a girlfriend and that’s because of my looks

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Luke_s.23
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It’s become an obsessive thought. Objectively, looks do matter today. There can’t be a relationship without a minimum attraction. I’m not a good looking guy, and not even a normal one. My face is literally ugly. I hate talking about my socializing problems with my psychotherapist because i realize how much i suck
PS: i’m 17
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Vapordave
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Do you take care of yourself?
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Luke_s.23
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(Original post by Vapordave)
Do you take care of yourself?
yeah yeah i feel good with my body because i’ve been doing gym and swimming for literally years...
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tasneem.016
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nobody is ugly evryones beautiful in their own way. plus you will find someone, when the time is right, trusts me. your only 17 you will glo uo and you can take care of your skin etc in order to look more attractive and feel better. hwn i was younger I was really ugly but I believe I glowed u by taking care of myself and becoming more confident as a person. have hope
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Vapordave
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(Original post by Luke_s.23)
yeah yeah i feel good with my body because i’ve been doing gym and swimming for literally years...
You can't look that bad then. Remember, you are you own worst critic.
You're only 17. You'll find someone who likes you the way you are someday
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Nialler x
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(Original post by Luke_s.23)
It’s become an obsessive thought. Objectively, looks do matter today. There can’t be a relationship without a minimum attraction. I’m not a good looking guy, and not even a normal one. My face is literally ugly. I hate talking about my socializing problems with my psychotherapist because i realize how much i suck
PS: i’m 17
You have to love yourself and be confident in your own body. Trust me when I say this as I'm saying it from experience. I used to hate the way I looked, I was so insecure and had really bad self esteem and self image but that changed when I started loving myself and admiring myself. I used to think I was ugly and always used to think that no one would want to be with me but honestly that was all in my head, it was not true. I now have started to love myself and appreciate myself more, I honestly cannot tell you how great it is as I am now more confident and happy to be me due to loving myself.

If you cannot love yourself then no one will be able to love you either. It may be hard at first but if you keep trying and don't give up you'll get there :yep:

Plus we're all beautiful in our own way and that's what makes us all unique.

You got this x
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Nialler x)
You have to love yourself and be confident in your own body. Trust me when I say this as I'm saying it from experience. I used to hate the way I looked, I was so insecure and had really bad self esteem and self image but that changed when I started loving myself and admiring myself. I used to think I was ugly and always used to think that no one would want to be with me but honestly that was all in my head, it was not true. I now have started to love myself and appreciate myself more, I honestly cannot tell you how great it is as I am now more confident and happy to be me due to loving myself.

If you cannot love yourself then no one will be able to love you either. It may be hard at first but if you keep trying and don't give up you'll get there :yep:

Plus we're all beautiful in our own way and that's what makes us all unique.

You got this x
PRSOM all the way, Nialler.
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Nialler x
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
PRSOM all the way, Nialler.
Awwww thank you :hugs:

PRSOM back at ya :lol:
Last edited by Nialler x; 4 weeks ago
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by Luke_s.23)
It’s become an obsessive thought. Objectively, looks do matter today. There can’t be a relationship without a minimum attraction. I’m not a good looking guy, and not even a normal one. My face is literally ugly. I hate talking about my socializing problems with my psychotherapist because i realize how much i suck
PS: i’m 17
What is it about you that makes your face "literally ugly", as opposed to merely plain? Do people physically repel when they see you? Do you have a large facial disfigurement?

You may well Hate speaking with your psychotherapist, but you're going to have to persevere if you want to stand a chance of improving your overall outlook. Remember, the old saying "If you want to make a nice omelette, you'll have to first crack / beat eggs".

P.S. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm almost certain 99% is in your head. Show me some real evidence on how "ugly" you are or "how much you suck".
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Luke_s.23
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(Original post by tasneem.016)
nobody is ugly evryones beautiful in their own way. plus you will find someone, when the time is right, trusts me. your only 17 you will glo uo and you can take care of your skin etc in order to look more attractive and feel better. hwn i was younger I was really ugly but I believe I glowed u by taking care of myself and becoming more confident as a person. have hope
thank you really
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Luke_s.23
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(Original post by Vapordave)
You can't look that bad then. Remember, you are you own worst critic.
You're only 17. You'll find someone who likes you the way you are someday
i really hope so😵
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ashtolga23
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One man's trash is another man's treasure.
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turna127
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im 17 too lets e-date :P jokes aside, looks undoubtedly matter but i promise someone will love everything about you, looks included. plus, they arent the only thing girls look for!! some of ppl are shallow like that but you can pull with your intellect, humour, body etc. it can defo make any person more attractive. most likely, you are magnifying every flaw you perceive yourself to have and i bet it isnt even that bad. good luck
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stresssedyute
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(Original post by Luke_s.23)
It’s become an obsessive thought. Objectively, looks do matter today. There can’t be a relationship without a minimum attraction. I’m not a good looking guy, and not even a normal one. My face is literally ugly. I hate talking about my socializing problems with my psychotherapist because i realize how much i suck
PS: i’m 17
Your not ugly.Build your self confidence.And plus ur 17 just like me🙈so don't stress we have time
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Luke_s.23)
It’s become an obsessive thought. Objectively, looks do matter today. There can’t be a relationship without a minimum attraction. I’m not a good looking guy, and not even a normal one. My face is literally ugly. I hate talking about my socializing problems with my psychotherapist because i realize how much i suck
PS: i’m 17
If it's any consolation I am much older than you and feel exactly the same way.

I've tried everything - losing weight, revamping my wardrobe, growing out facial hair, moving several times, various haircuts even going to an expensive barbers and asking them to do something they feel suited me. Nothing works. I still look absolutely hideous and can't even bring myself to take a photo.

I know i'm a good friend to people and I have a ton of girl-friends so it's not as though I can't talk to women, but i've accepted i'm never going to have a partner as if I can't love myself how can I expect anyone else to. Having enough self confidence to upload multiple pictures to a dating website or app where everyone judges you on how you look is just never going to happen.

Persevere with the specialist you are seeing and it will make a difference, don't make the same mistakes I did and end up a failure like me.
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Anonymous #2
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Honestly at your age people do focus more on looks but the old saying is that looks only last for four months so I wouldn't worry too much. Nobody is too ugly, there is not such a thing. And there are a lot of people out there who don't care about looks whatsoever, trust me, I'm one of them. For me, attraction comes from personality, I don't care if somebody is the considered to be the most beautiful person in the world, if talking to them is like watching paint dry, I automatically lose interest. I don't find myself to be pretty either I'm only 19 and you're only 17, you have your whole life ahead of you. Try to open up about your feelings a little bit more with people in your life, they might be able to help!!
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Luke_s.23
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If it's any consolation I am much older than you and feel exactly the same way.

I've tried everything - losing weight, revamping my wardrobe, growing out facial hair, moving several times, various haircuts even going to an expensive barbers and asking them to do something they feel suited me. Nothing works. I still look absolutely hideous and can't even bring myself to take a photo.

I know i'm a good friend to people and I have a ton of girl-friends so it's not as though I can't talk to women, but i've accepted i'm never going to have a partner as if I can't love myself how can I expect anyone else to. Having enough self confidence to upload multiple pictures to a dating website or app where everyone judges you on how you look is just never going to happen.

Persevere with the specialist you are seeing and it will make a difference, don't make the same mistakes I did and end up a failure like me.
hey hey dude stop.
Why do you define yourself a failure? Btw, talking with my psychotherapist, i found out my self esteem was influenced A LOT because i didn’t develop the passion i’ve got! You just listed me things that you did to look better, but what about your real interest? Your real passion... that’s the right way in my opinion! You’re not a failure at all! You just didn’t take the right road, but this doesn’t mean you took the wrong one! I’d really suggest you to upload those photos of you on a dating site... if it’s true that you’ve been going to the gym improving your body and looks, you’ll surely be able to do that! Just upload those photos, and maybe don’t even open tinder/other applications for days if you don’t want to! And tbh, i really doubt that you’d look bad with a fantastic body...
If it’s all about your self esteem, as i told you, the BEST advice is following your passion ( if you still haven’t found it, don’t worry: you will, but it takes time ), and if you need help just ask on here or reddit! It’s full if supporting groups that can really help you out!
First, feel good with what you can change ( physically ) about you, of course without surgery, and then, accept the things you can’t change and, especially, cultivate your passion! It surely can give you personality and improve a lot you self-perception!
Bye,
Luca
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by turna127)
im 17 too lets e-date :P jokes aside, looks undoubtedly matter but i promise someone will love everything about you, looks included. plus, they arent the only thing girls look for!! some of ppl are shallow like that but you can pull with your intellect, humour, body etc. it can defo make any person more attractive. most likely, you are magnifying every flaw you perceive yourself to have and i bet it isnt even that bad. good luck
I must admit I go for kindness and intelligence over looks myself.
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tigera111
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https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/550846
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pepsimaxcherry
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Honestly, I’m a girl and not once have I refused to get to know someone because of their looks. Personality is everything to me, you can be the hottest man on earth but if your personality sucks, I won’t want you.

Just be yourself, and you’ll find lots of people will want to get to know you. Society has made everyone think that looks are everything but I do not know a single girl who goes for looks over personality.
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