I feel like a cougar!!

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Briefprofile
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So recently I got close to this boy I was with at college. We both did the same course and ended up (coincidentally) at the same uni doing different courses.

He happens to be 20 and I'm 21 soon turning 22 in December. The whole thing started off suddenly. One moment we were just chatting and reminiscing the old times at college (we weren't as close at college) and the next we were making out.

Now don't get me wrong. There were very many things that happened in between but long story short, I initiated the whole process because I was really turned on (inwardly blamed it on a dry spell haha) just like he was turned on too and was doing a rubbish job at hiding it.

When I made the first move he wasn't repulsed at all even after asking if he was comfortable he confirmed that. Since then, we have been having these really hot and steamy moments and we are literally hanging out together all the time. In a relationship-y way...

But there is this creepling feeling I get time to time that I'm cougar 😂. I don't know. Like as if it's wrong?!?! I keep thinking that he is a boy and he didn't want to reject an advance made to him and that he is playing along to be polite 😅 and I'm just taking advantage?!?! He has made it clear both in actions and words that he is smitten. We are equally enthusiastic.

Bare in mind he is so sweet and gentle and kind and most importantly makes me laugh as well as turn me on. I worry that I'm falling for him now and I hate that I am because I feel too old to be with him sometimes! Can anyone show me a different perspective because I have failed to see it.
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GabiAbi84
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Firstly-there is one year difference, why would that make you a cougar?

Secondly you say he’s made it clear he’s interested, and you say you are also. So where’s the issue?
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
Firstly-there is one year difference, why would that make you a cougar?

Secondly you say he’s made it clear he’s interested, and you say you are also. So where’s the issue?
The issue is me seeing the whole year difference as an expanse you know. Kind of overthink it you see. I was of the thinking that I would like a guy to be the older one even if slightly. Wistful thinking I know but it's stuck. And the other thing is I'm scared of falling for him and maybe get hurt? By someone younger than I am lol.
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khadijaaaxxxx
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cool story bro
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ashtolga23
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The age gap is so tiny. It won’t matter to you. My gran was older than my grandad by 2 years and they were together for decades.

I do understand that people in their early 20s seem to think this. I remember your exact situation on an episode of Dinner Date actually. However I really don’t think it’s an issue.
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
The age gap is so tiny. It won’t matter to you. My gran was older than my grandad by 2 years and they were together for decades.

I do understand that people in their early 20s seem to think this. I remember your exact situation on an episode of Dinner Date actually. However I really don’t think it’s an issue.
Thank you very much for that insight! Quite refreshing actually. I will take that on board.
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YaliaV123
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You’re the same age and I doubt it has even registered with him. You’re stressing yourself out for no reason.
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Ne en mia nomo
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(Original post by Briefprofile)
So recently I got close to this boy I was with at college. We both did the same course and ended up (coincidentally) at the same uni doing different courses.

He happens to be 20 and I'm 21 soon turning 22 in December. The whole thing started off suddenly. One moment we were just chatting and reminiscing the old times at college (we weren't as close at college) and the next we were making out.

Now don't get me wrong. There were very many things that happened in between but long story short, I initiated the whole process because I was really turned on (inwardly blamed it on a dry spell haha) just like he was turned on too and was doing a rubbish job at hiding it.

When I made the first move he wasn't repulsed at all even after asking if he was comfortable he confirmed that. Since then, we have been having these really hot and steamy moments and we are literally hanging out together all the time. In a relationship-y way...

But there is this creepling feeling I get time to time that I'm cougar 😂. I don't know. Like as if it's wrong?!?! I keep thinking that he is a boy and he didn't want to reject an advance made to him and that he is playing along to be polite 😅 and I'm just taking advantage?!?! He has made it clear both in actions and words that he is smitten. We are equally enthusiastic.

Bare in mind he is so sweet and gentle and kind and most importantly makes me laugh as well as turn me on. I worry that I'm falling for him now and I hate that I am because I feel too old to be with him sometimes! Can anyone show me a different perspective because I have failed to see it.
:rofl3:
I look a lot younger than my age and tend to gravitate towards younger boys/men, had a couple of boyfriends who were 8-10-12 years younger than me, never had any issue with it, we're all consenting adults.
Calling girls/women 'cougars' for having younger partners is just misogynistic woman-shaming, men get away with a lot larger age gaps, they even brag about it 🙄
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by Briefprofile)
Thank you very much for that insight! Quite refreshing actually. I will take that on board.
No problem! Hope it helps
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(Original post by YaliaV123)
You’re the same age and I doubt it has even registered with him. You’re stressing yourself out for no reason.
Thank you for pointing that out. I'm going to try and pay no mind at it too. It's true. He actually seems not to mind it at all lol.
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(Original post by Ne en mia nomo)
:rofl3:
I look a lot younger than my age and tend to gravitate towards younger boys/men, had a couple of boyfriends who were 8-10-12 years younger than me, never had any issue with it, we're all consenting adults.
Calling girls/women 'cougars' for having younger partners is just misogynistic woman-shaming, men get away with a lot larger age gaps, they even brag about it 🙄
I actually see this clearly. It's the snide comments I have heard a few years ago that were making me hesitant. 🤗Thank you for this reassurance. I'm going to follow suit too.
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Ciel.
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one year difference. are you kidding me?
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Ackhnologia
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(Original post by Ne en mia nomo)
:rofl3:
I look a lot younger than my age and tend to gravitate towards younger boys/men, had a couple of boyfriends who were 8-10-12 years younger than me, never had any issue with it, we're all consenting adults.
Calling girls/women 'cougars' for having younger partners is just misogynistic woman-shaming, men get away with a lot larger age gaps, they even brag about it 🙄
Hi there
Sorry but they most of the time do have problems for that.
A 28 years old man who wants to date a 20 years old, even if she has the legal age , the man will be called a pervert, a creep who wants to abuse a little girl.
They are man shamed and can get jailed for doing so.
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Ackhnologia
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(Original post by Briefprofile)
I actually see this clearly. It's the snide comments I have heard a few years ago that were making me hesitant. 🤗Thank you for this reassurance. I'm going to follow suit too.
Hi there
OP for me you are not a cougar.
1 year gap is not to much.
And I am not sure if he is feeling like you are taking advantage of him.
I am sure he surely likes you, otherwise I would have declined your move on him.
I am the kind man who would prefer dating older women anyway.
For me you are not a cougar at all.
I am sure he likes you too.😊🙏
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bones-mccoy
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You're one year older, you're practically the same age

If you're capable of making your own choices then so is he
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(Original post by Ciel.)
one year difference. are you kidding me?
I mean. What can I say. I'm an over thinker.
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(Original post by Ackhnologia)
Hi there
OP for me you are not a cougar.
1 year gap is not to much.
And I am not sure if he is feeling like you are taking advantage of him.
I am sure he surely likes you, otherwise I would have declined your move on him.
I am the kind man who would prefer dating older women anyway.
For me you are not a cougar at all.
I am sure he likes you too.😊🙏
Thank you for this perspective. I had also thought that if he was uncomfortable he would have declined the advance. I'm relieved alittle actually. Just hope he actually likes me haha. I guess I'm able to push all these cobwebs aside now. Phew! 😅 cheers
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
You're one year older, you're practically the same age

If you're capable of making your own choices then so is he
True true. Thanks for that.
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candydiva
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U r not a cougar. U can't play that role in any way until u r 30 and he is 18. My master was 19 and she was 43 married doctor lady.... now that's cougar territory lol!
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(Original post by candydiva)
U r not a cougar. U can't play that role in any way until u r 30 and he is 18. My master was 19 and she was 43 married doctor lady.... now that's cougar territory lol!
Woah! I'm definitely convinced that I'm no cougar! Wow! 24 year gap. I think I'm content with a year gap now. Thank you for sharing. Wow!
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