Is ignoring your feelings a good thing?

My personal situation has been really bad recently, for the last year so.

I decided to ignore my feelings, whenever I think about my feelings or a thought comes into my head I shake it off and pretend it doesn't affect me. I keep myself busy so I don't have time or energy to think.
I ignore my feelings and make it seem like I'm happy, any negative thought I pretend it doesn't matter to me.
I smile to try and make it seem like I'm actually happy.
I count all the things I'm grateful for so that my mind focuses on them and I don't get upset about my situation.
Anything that might trigger me getting upset that I see online, I don't read into it and pretend it's not affected me.

I message my friends pretending I'm all happy and cheery.

Is that a good way to get away from something that's been affecting me?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

To a certain point yes, but doing this continually could lead to you burning out and getting random spurts of emotionalness (definitely a real word). If it all gets too much you should definitely reach out to your friends or family :smile:

Reply 2

LotttieM

7

I don't think that's a healthy way of coping. While it works at the moment it will all catch up with you. Ideally, you should let it out when you feel safe, since addressing your feelings is the only way to properly resolve them. It's good that you keep track of the positive things, and you should continue to do that even if you choose to spend some time working through your issues. Is there someone you could talk to, like a friend or family member?

Although it's a good idea to deal with your feelings, you should only do it when you feel safe and comfortable doing so, so don't worry if you have to hold things in a little longer.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by LotttieM

I don't think that's a healthy way of coping. While it works at the moment it will all catch up with you. Ideally, you should let it out when you feel safe, since addressing your feelings is the only way to resolve them. It's good that you keep track of the positive things, and you should continue to do that even if you choose to spend some time working through your issues. Is there someone you could talk to, like a friend or family member?

I've been having difficulty with my sexuality. Having to be in a relationship with someone im.not into for the sake of family.
Everyone has been in denial when I've tried to explain. It's been gone on for a about a year or two of me trying explain.
My mental health has been bad as I have anxiety too.

One friend I have been venting out to and she's been a true friend and super supportive.
Its been a month now I pretend I'm fine, I ignore how I feel. I'm not into girls, nope. Never was. Its just my feelings they'll change as time goes on. If I ignore them they'll go away!

That's my mentality. If I see anything LGBTQ+ online, I ignore and pretend it doesn't bother me!
I smile and pretend its all okay and I'm fine!
I keep myself busy so my sexuslity does not cross my mind, so it doesn't come to me that I'm attracted to women.

I told my friend that whatever I may have shared with her over the last year or so was a lie and that im okay!

Being postive, ignoring all this negativity in my life and in my head will hopefully remove the weird women attraction im feeling and hopefully ill be able to find happiness with a guy. Overtime hopefully my feelings will change if I Don't pay attention to them!

And I think I have bothered my friend enough that's its about time I be positive and not vent out to her. :smile:

I want her to know that im fine, and that what I vented out to her about my mental health and sexuality was all a lie and I'm actually fine :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Sorry if what I said did not.make sense!

Reply 5

Ackhnologia

13

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry if what I said did not.make sense!

Hi there
Yes bottling up your feelings or ignoring them is not good.
It can affect you physically as well as mentally.
But I am not better than you when it comes to it.
After all, as young as I am, I got a peptic ulcer and other bad things just because of that so.

Reply 6

kingofiqtests

10

trust your instinct it knows best is my motto

Reply 7

Rufus The Red

20

If you're cleaning your room sweeping the dirt and dust under the carpet fixes it in the short term but someday it'll be a much bigger job to fix.
You should try talking to someone you trust. :console:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Rufus the red

If you're cleaning your room sweeping the dirt and dust under the carpet fixes it in the short term but someday it'll be a much bigger job to fix.
You should try talking to someone you trust. :console:

Thank you can you advise me on my situation (I mentioned it on the fourth post down).

Thank you

Reply 9

Rufus The Red

20

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you can you advise me on my situation (I mentioned it on the fourth post down).

Thank you

Firstly, you should ignore your family and leave the guy you're with as it seems that you don't feel happy with him.
Secondly, you sound like you haven't really come to terms with your sexuality. I'm not sure what culture you've grown up in and how that may have influenced you but from what you've said I might be inclined to assume that you are repressing your sexuality because of what you've been told to think.
You should try to be true to yourself and not be what other people want you to be. :smile:

Reply 10

vapordave

Debate & Current Affairs Helper

20

Original post by Anonymous

I've been having difficulty with my sexuality. Having to be in a relationship with someone im.not into for the sake of family.
Everyone has been in denial when I've tried to explain. It's been gone on for a about a year or two of me trying explain.
My mental health has been bad as I have anxiety too.

One friend I have been venting out to and she's been a true friend and super supportive.
Its been a month now I pretend I'm fine, I ignore how I feel. I'm not into girls, nope. Never was. Its just my feelings they'll change as time goes on. If I ignore them they'll go away!

That's my mentality. If I see anything LGBTQ+ online, I ignore and pretend it doesn't bother me!
I smile and pretend its all okay and I'm fine!
I keep myself busy so my sexuslity does not cross my mind, so it doesn't come to me that I'm attracted to women.

I told my friend that whatever I may have shared with her over the last year or so was a lie and that im okay!

Being postive, ignoring all this negativity in my life and in my head will hopefully remove the weird women attraction im feeling and hopefully ill be able to find happiness with a guy. Overtime hopefully my feelings will change if I Don't pay attention to them!

And I think I have bothered my friend enough that's its about time I be positive and not vent out to her. :smile:

I want her to know that im fine, and that what I vented out to her about my mental health and sexuality was all a lie and I'm actually fine :smile:

Oh no

Your mindset might seem good but it will further damage your mental health.
You are probably attracted to women. Nothing will change that and that's completely fine. I know from experience that coming out of that denial is really hard but it will set you free.
Your mental health might not be the best. That's fine, you can work on it. However, being in denial about it will not help in the long run.
Please tell your friend how you're feeling. They're probably not bothered by it and can be a good source of support.

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

My personal situation has been really bad recently, for the last year so.

I decided to ignore my feelings, whenever I think about my feelings or a thought comes into my head I shake it off and pretend it doesn't affect me. I keep myself busy so I don't have time or energy to think.
I ignore my feelings and make it seem like I'm happy, any negative thought I pretend it doesn't matter to me.
I smile to try and make it seem like I'm actually happy.
I count all the things I'm grateful for so that my mind focuses on them and I don't get upset about my situation.
Anything that might trigger me getting upset that I see online, I don't read into it and pretend it's not affected me.

I message my friends pretending I'm all happy and cheery.

Is that a good way to get away from something that's been affecting me?

Everyone deals with things differently. I believe that talking to people about my problems helps me, but this might not be the case for everyone. For me, I only share my issues with my parents, or a couple of my close friends. Completely hiding your feelings might not be the best way of dealing with problems, but no one can force you to tell them. I think if you do decide to talk to someone it should be someone you trust or are very close to. I know for some people they like to talk to therapists, but I don’t think that’s for everyone. As long as you are happy and ok, do whatever you find the best method to dealing with your issues. Even just writing a few lines in a diary or journal about how you feel everyday could be all you need to do to feel better. Do whatever works for you :wink:

Reply 12

LotttieM

7

Original post by Anonymous

I've been having difficulty with my sexuality. Having to be in a relationship with someone im.not into for the sake of family.
Everyone has been in denial when I've tried to explain. It's been gone on for a about a year or two of me trying explain.
My mental health has been bad as I have anxiety too.

One friend I have been venting out to and she's been a true friend and super supportive.
Its been a month now I pretend I'm fine, I ignore how I feel. I'm not into girls, nope. Never was. Its just my feelings they'll change as time goes on. If I ignore them they'll go away!

That's my mentality. If I see anything LGBTQ+ online, I ignore and pretend it doesn't bother me!
I smile and pretend its all okay and I'm fine!
I keep myself busy so my sexuslity does not cross my mind, so it doesn't come to me that I'm attracted to women.

I told my friend that whatever I may have shared with her over the last year or so was a lie and that im okay!

Being postive, ignoring all this negativity in my life and in my head will hopefully remove the weird women attraction im feeling and hopefully ill be able to find happiness with a guy. Overtime hopefully my feelings will change if I Don't pay attention to them!

And I think I have bothered my friend enough that's its about time I be positive and not vent out to her. :smile:

I want her to know that im fine, and that what I vented out to her about my mental health and sexuality was all a lie and I'm actually fine :smile:

It sounds like you might be dealing with internalised homophobia as well as outside issues. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to women and it's not weird. While it's true that it might change since sexuality is fairly fluid, that's unlikely, so you'll continue to struggle with it if you can't accept yourself. While you may not be able to solve the problems caused by people around you, you can work on accepting yourself more. I would suggest not ignoring lgbt stuff online, but search for positive role models in the lgbtq+ community. It can be very inspiring to know that other lgbt people have struggled with the same issues as you and come out successful on the other side. While you might not want to be negative around your friend for their sake, I don't think lying is the best idea. I would say that while you don't have to talk about it with them, don't necessarily pretend that you're completely okay. Ignoring your issues may make them easier to cope with, but they won't go away by themselves.

Is ignoring your feelings a good thing?

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