taliargoldberg
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hii my teacher is not replying to me, can someone pls mark this and give me a grade?How does the poet present the impacts of war in ‘Remains’ and one other poem?Although both poems show the mental effects that war has on people, this effect is presented in different ways. Armitage presents the impact of war in ‘Remains’ by showing the immediate effect of war through the soldier’s first hand experiences. The soldier is described to have seen the bullets ‘’rip through his (the looter’s) life’’, and how he is affected by this horrifying image - even when he ‘’at home on leave’’ and safe, he’s still traumatised by this image. In contrast, Weir reflects a mother’s indirect effect from war. The mother of the soldier describes the long-gone memories she shared with her dead son, and how her stomach was making ‘tucks, darks, pleats’ when she eventually escaped her denial and visited her son’s war grave. Both ‘Remains’ and ‘poppies’ show the impact of war through their irregular structures. They are both written with no rhyme scheme whilst using lots of enjambment to portray the panic, chaos and emotion in parts of both poems. For example, in ‘Remains’, the soldier uses enjambment when describing the war event of the shooting of the looter, and even when he is at home he says ‘’but i blink and he bursts again through the doors of the bank’’. The fact that he is using the enjambment when he only thinks about the event at home portrays how emotionally unstable he is even when he has escaped the war zone and perhaps suggests that the soldier might be suffering from PTSD as a result of war. In comparison, the mother in ‘poppies’ uses enjambment when she describes how she felt when letting her son go off to war - ‘’ all my words flattened, rolled, turned into felt, slowly melting’’. This use enjambment implies how the mother is emotionally unstable after she let her son go to war, and that it took her a lot of courage to let her son go ‘’intoxicated’’. In ‘Remains’, the impact of war is presented through his use of war imagery throughout the poem. He describes that when he closes his eyes, he is ‘’dug up behind enemy lines’’, establishing his inability to escape the war zone, and conveying the horrifying impact that war has had on his mental health. This metaphor also suggests that the soldier is still fighting against the enemy in his head - he describes his own inner conflict. In comparison, Weir also uses war imagery to portray her inner conflict and regret of letting her son go. She describes how the red poppy on her son’s blaser is ‘’disrupting a blockade of yellow bias…’’. A blockade is also a war term where war material is attempted to be cut off - this furthermore compares the blockade to the situation with her son, and how war has cut her off from him. Finally, the impact of war is portrayed in ‘Remains’ through his casual tone and way of writing. The soldier firstly describes and one of the looters ‘’legs it up the road’’, which is a very informal way of talking. Perhaps Armitage chooses that the soldier should talk in this tone in order to furthermore portray how emotional the soldier is due to his experience in war, so it indicates that maybe the soldier is avoiding breaking down by describing his experience in a more serious tone, and him talking in a casual and humorous tone is how he copes with his PTSD. However, as he continues to talk and recalls the traumatic war event, his tone changes to a more chaotic and emocional tone - he uses sibilance to portray this as he describes the body of the looter to be in some ‘’sun-stunned sand-smothered land’’. This less colloquial and more serious use of language conveys how the soldier cannot escape this war image, not even in his head, and the sibilance adds onto how aggressive and vivid the image of the dead looter’s body still is in his head - it is an ‘’image of agony’’. In contrast, Weir creates a more serious tone right from the start, by talking about how poppies had been placed on ‘’individual war graves’’. This mention of graves creates a solemn and serious tone, and reflects how war never has a positive effect on anyone involved in it - especially a mother who has lost her child, like the narrator. This solemn tone continues throughout the poem after she realises that she can’t ‘’run her fingers through the gelled blackthorns’’ of her son’s hair anymore, and she can't ‘’play at being eskimos’’ anymore with him, because he is dead. Furthermore the poem ends with her hope of hearing her son’s ‘’playground voice catching on the wind’’, which adds to the graveness and melancholy tone of this poem.
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misa.misa
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(Original post by taliargoldberg)
hii my teacher is not replying to me, can someone pls mark this and give me a grade?How does the poet present the impacts of war in ‘Remains’ and one other poem?Although both poems show the mental effects that war has on people, this effect is presented in different ways. Armitage presents the impact of war in ‘Remains’ by showing the immediate effect of war through the soldier’s first hand experiences. The soldier is described to have seen the bullets ‘’rip through his (the looter’s) life’’, and how he is affected by this horrifying image - even when he ‘’at home on leave’’ and safe, he’s still traumatised by this image. In contrast, Weir reflects a mother’s indirect effect from war. The mother of the soldier describes the long-gone memories she shared with her dead son, and how her stomach was making ‘tucks, darks, pleats’ when she eventually escaped her denial and visited her son’s war grave. Both ‘Remains’ and ‘poppies’ show the impact of war through their irregular structures. They are both written with no rhyme scheme whilst using lots of enjambment to portray the panic, chaos and emotion in parts of both poems. For example, in ‘Remains’, the soldier uses enjambment when describing the war event of the shooting of the looter, and even when he is at home he says ‘’but i blink and he bursts again through the doors of the bank’’. The fact that he is using the enjambment when he only thinks about the event at home portrays how emotionally unstable he is even when he has escaped the war zone and perhaps suggests that the soldier might be suffering from PTSD as a result of war. In comparison, the mother in ‘poppies’ uses enjambment when she describes how she felt when letting her son go off to war - ‘’ all my words flattened, rolled, turned into felt, slowly melting’’. This use enjambment implies how the mother is emotionally unstable after she let her son go to war, and that it took her a lot of courage to let her son go ‘’intoxicated’’. In ‘Remains’, the impact of war is presented through his use of war imagery throughout the poem. He describes that when he closes his eyes, he is ‘’dug up behind enemy lines’’, establishing his inability to escape the war zone, and conveying the horrifying impact that war has had on his mental health. This metaphor also suggests that the soldier is still fighting against the enemy in his head - he describes his own inner conflict. In comparison, Weir also uses war imagery to portray her inner conflict and regret of letting her son go. She describes how the red poppy on her son’s blaser is ‘’disrupting a blockade of yellow bias…’’. A blockade is also a war term where war material is attempted to be cut off - this furthermore compares the blockade to the situation with her son, and how war has cut her off from him. Finally, the impact of war is portrayed in ‘Remains’ through his casual tone and way of writing. The soldier firstly describes and one of the looters ‘’legs it up the road’’, which is a very informal way of talking. Perhaps Armitage chooses that the soldier should talk in this tone in order to furthermore portray how emotional the soldier is due to his experience in war, so it indicates that maybe the soldier is avoiding breaking down by describing his experience in a more serious tone, and him talking in a casual and humorous tone is how he copes with his PTSD. However, as he continues to talk and recalls the traumatic war event, his tone changes to a more chaotic and emocional tone - he uses sibilance to portray this as he describes the body of the looter to be in some ‘’sun-stunned sand-smothered land’’. This less colloquial and more serious use of language conveys how the soldier cannot escape this war image, not even in his head, and the sibilance adds onto how aggressive and vivid the image of the dead looter’s body still is in his head - it is an ‘’image of agony’’. In contrast, Weir creates a more serious tone right from the start, by talking about how poppies had been placed on ‘’individual war graves’’. This mention of graves creates a solemn and serious tone, and reflects how war never has a positive effect on anyone involved in it - especially a mother who has lost her child, like the narrator. This solemn tone continues throughout the poem after she realises that she can’t ‘’run her fingers through the gelled blackthorns’’ of her son’s hair anymore, and she can't ‘’play at being eskimos’’ anymore with him, because he is dead. Furthermore the poem ends with her hope of hearing her son’s ‘’playground voice catching on the wind’’, which adds to the graveness and melancholy tone of this poem.
hey!! im not sure I could give an accurate grade however, your use of quotes and integration of them. I would add a conclusion maybe about which poet presents the impact of war most effectively. when you add the quote from remains about the bullets ripping through HIS life ild add the use of personal possessive pronouns and you could link this to how the soldier took the effects of war very personally and they have affected him on such level. also when you talk about the casual tone from remains you could say this is because he talks as if it is everyday life since the horrors of war follow him around in everyday life. where you mention ptsd you could link this to guilt and the his blood hands quote which you could add external knowledge from Macbeth as that is a quote. I have more tips and stuff if you want them, but overall, a very good essay im sure it'll do well
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taliargoldberg
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Report Thread starter 8 months ago
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(Original post by misa.misa)
hey!! im not sure I could give an accurate grade however, your use of quotes and integration of them. I would add a conclusion maybe about which poet presents the impact of war most effectively. when you add the quote from remains about the bullets ripping through HIS life ild add the use of personal possessive pronouns and you could link this to how the soldier took the effects of war very personally and they have affected him on such level. also when you talk about the casual tone from remains you could say this is because he talks as if it is everyday life since the horrors of war follow him around in everyday life. where you mention ptsd you could link this to guilt and the his blood hands quote which you could add external knowledge from Macbeth as that is a quote. I have more tips and stuff if you want them, but overall, a very good essay im sure it'll do well
thank you so much for your feedback!! it was really helpful : )
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