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Is it true that guys don't like being approached?

I'm a guy in my 20s and have heard this excuse for why men are the ones who overwhelmingly approach. But I think it's ******** to be honest.

Talking to most of my male friends, they don't have an issue with women approaching them. The only guys I know are extremely traditional (usually older generation 50+).

What I think is going on here however is that most of the women that approach guys are not really attractive. Think about it. Women get way more sexual attention (flirting, catcalling, being asked out etc) than men. Women who are average to hot will get this a lot, especially in their 20s. In this case, why would they need to approach

Women who are below average to ugly however will seldom/never approach. So they have to take the initiative and ask guys out. Most guys don't find them attractive so it gives off the perception to other women that guys don't like being approached when in reality, they just don't like being approached by unattractive women...Good looking women are another story.
Dunni why but you managed to make your post sound repulsive.
Original post by 999tigger
Dunni why but you managed to make your post sound repulsive.

As does any post where a man overanalyses relationships along with a few unoriginal generalisations :lol:
Yeah i hate being approached, that means a woman obviously likes me and has already done all the hard work. So bad.
Reply 4
Original post by hijackedbrother
I'm a guy in my 20s and have heard this excuse for why men are the ones who overwhelmingly approach. But I think it's ******** to be honest.

Talking to most of my male friends, they don't have an issue with women approaching them. The only guys I know are extremely traditional (usually older generation 50+).

What I think is going on here however is that most of the women that approach guys are not really attractive. Think about it. Women get way more sexual attention (flirting, catcalling, being asked out etc) than men. Women who are average to hot will get this a lot, especially in their 20s. In this case, why would they need to approach

Women who are below average to ugly however will seldom/never approach. So they have to take the initiative and ask guys out. Most guys don't find them attractive so it gives off the perception to other women that guys don't like being approached when in reality, they just don't like being approached by unattractive women...Good looking women are another story.


Your theory is flawed on several counts.



1)You are also assuming each woman accurately knows her value in terms of beauty. They don't. Most people (males or females) will over rate themselves. I have looked on youtube on rate me videos and seen hundreds of people rate themselves. At least 50% of women I personally would say are below average are rating themselves 7+

2) You are assuming women who are not attractive don't approach. I have been approached by a lot of women, I have also approached and been rejected by a lot of women. Whilst it is more likely for women who who are not attractive to approach than women who are attractive, there has been several times I have been approached by attractive women. Some I can realistically see being rated as 9s or 10s.


I do not agree that men dislike being approached. That sounds like an excuse a female has made who doesn't approach, to justify her not approaching. Having said that, I do find it much more satisfying ... to approach a girl I had my eye on and have some degree of success, than a woman approach me I didn't have my eye on and have some degree of success....... even if the woman who approached me is hot. I think the psychological effect of going after what YOU wanted, instead of just being taken what you're offered is significant. If a woman has approached me out of the blue, I often find myself looking for flaws and scrutinising her ...whilst asking myself the question am I really interested? .....where had she not approached and just wandered close to me for a minute or two I probably would have seen her, liked what i saw, decided for myself without being coerced ....and been much keener.

bearing this mind, I think it's much better to look for some eye contact from a girl you want to approach FIRST before considering cold approaching. And if you get nothing back, consider moving on and finding a different girl. I suspect for a woman as well, it's much more satisfying to go after a guy she had her eye on ....than one just appear next to her and start trying to offer himself to her.
(edited 3 years ago)

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