My flatmates get annoyed I wash their dishes
I’m a very independent person and I’ve lived away from home before. I’ve also worked as a cleaner and I just moved into halls.
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
Original post by pink00
I’m a very independent person and I’ve lived away from home before. I’ve also worked as a cleaner and I just moved into halls.
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
try asking kindly if they would help you do them and maybe eventually it will become natural. or maybe try telling them it stresses you out and u need them to take some responsibility
Original post by x_clown.girl_x
try asking kindly if they would help you do them and maybe eventually it will become natural. or maybe try telling them it stresses you out and u need them to take some responsibility
I think that will cause more tension tho, I honestly don’t mind doing it I just don’t think they should be annoyed at me for it
Did they give any reasons as to why they were annoyed? They seem a bit childish tbh
Not sure I can offer you any words of advice here but I’d love to have a flat mate as tidy and as clean as you. Leaving dishes in the sink for days is disgusting.
To be honest, I’d get annoyed if my flatmates washed my dishes, because I have a very specific way of cleaning them and also use my own sponge. I don’t really trust others to wash my things.
However, I also never leave my dishes in the sink for more than 10 minutes (will literally wash my stuff before eating), so there’s that.
Just wondering, how do you know that they’re mad? Have they directly told you?
I think they’re getting annoyed because either:
1. They DO take you putting their dishes to the side as being passive aggressive and by you also washing their plates, they feel like they are indirectly being attacked a bit.
2. They have no concept of time, which is why they leave their stuff in the sink for so long, but also like having their own cleaning routine.
I totally agree with you that this is gross and unacceptable. Some people do just live in toxic environments lmao and can’t seem to clean up after themselves. I would tell them about it, but try to present it in a jokey manner. When you are in the kitchen with them, point at the sink and be like “are you trying to grow a whole ecosystem in there” or something. If they return a joke, follow up with “no but really, that’s gonna get mouldy” or something along those lines. Usually, even just casually pointing out “dude that plate’s been in there for centuries” might do the trick. If the pile is very high, make it seem like you are REALLY struggling to clean a utensil because of it.
If all else fails, move the dirty stuff onto the counter and if they ask, be very apologetic and say “oh sorry, I just didn’t have space to wash my pan.” If they’re at least decent people otherwise, they should be more mindful.
However, I also never leave my dishes in the sink for more than 10 minutes (will literally wash my stuff before eating), so there’s that.
Just wondering, how do you know that they’re mad? Have they directly told you?
I think they’re getting annoyed because either:
1. They DO take you putting their dishes to the side as being passive aggressive and by you also washing their plates, they feel like they are indirectly being attacked a bit.
2. They have no concept of time, which is why they leave their stuff in the sink for so long, but also like having their own cleaning routine.
I totally agree with you that this is gross and unacceptable. Some people do just live in toxic environments lmao and can’t seem to clean up after themselves. I would tell them about it, but try to present it in a jokey manner. When you are in the kitchen with them, point at the sink and be like “are you trying to grow a whole ecosystem in there” or something. If they return a joke, follow up with “no but really, that’s gonna get mouldy” or something along those lines. Usually, even just casually pointing out “dude that plate’s been in there for centuries” might do the trick. If the pile is very high, make it seem like you are REALLY struggling to clean a utensil because of it.
If all else fails, move the dirty stuff onto the counter and if they ask, be very apologetic and say “oh sorry, I just didn’t have space to wash my pan.” If they’re at least decent people otherwise, they should be more mindful.
University, the first time a bunch of coddled spoiled brats have to live without their parents doing everything for them, lol! I don't have a solution to your problem. In undergrad, we all lived in filth in halls, and none of us cooked or did any cleaning, but we did have our own pool table. When I finally lived in a house, it was a joint effort to cook and clean, and we would have a day or two a week we would all clean, and that was great. I mean it wasn't as spotless as home, but it was much better than halls. What I did was just go with the flow of whoever I lived with, but then I am not bothered by a messy environment, although I prefer a tidy environment. I think the only thing I can think of is talking to your flatmates and explaining why you do what you do? I don't understand why they're angry, maybe it's a personal space issue (don't like you touching their belongings?)
Maybe bag up their dishes and leave them in a corner from now on? Trouble is, that might make them resort to using your clean dishes... 
Original post by pink00
I’m a very independent person and I’ve lived away from home before. I’ve also worked as a cleaner and I just moved into halls.
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
Hiya!
It can be really difficult when living with other people especially as everyone has their own cleaning standards. In my house in first year we had a 24 hour rule where if stuff was left out for over a day then we would let the person know, or take a picture of it and out it in the group chat and just ask politely if its okay to clean their stuff up. I can relate to you as a lot of the time I would just decide to do a clean of the kitchen and do the washing and wiping up as I didn't mind and sometimes people can be grateful where some people prefer to leave their stuff out. I recommend making cleaning a group thing, so put a message in your group chat and say "anyone free today to help clean the kitchen together?" so that it is not just you and then others can decide if they want to join in. You just have to find a happy medium that works for you and those you live with as it's not fair for anyone to feel uncomfortable
Sam - Official Student Rep
Original post by pink00
I’m a very independent person and I’ve lived away from home before. I’ve also worked as a cleaner and I just moved into halls.
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
Living away from home for the first time can be tough on everyone and some people are more capable than others. You are clearly very able and some of your room mates sound as if they may not be.
Here at Foundry Courtyard and in quite a few private halls, we provide student with a cleaning rota when they move in. This is a fair and non conformational way of showing how the cleaning could be divided up to keep the flat tidy and clean without too much effort or one person doing more than others.
This could be a good idea within your flat, if you can get everyone to take on a job once a week (as well as clean their own dishes within 24 hours) things are more likely to get done as everyone can be held accountable.
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best getting your flat mates to clean
All the Best,
Wallis @ Foundry Courtyard Glasgow
Original post by pink00
I’m a very independent person and I’ve lived away from home before. I’ve also worked as a cleaner and I just moved into halls.
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
If you leave dishes in the sink for 4,5,6 days I will be washing them. I refuse to live in filth.
And yet my flatmates get annoyed at me for washing their dishes ???
I’m not sure what to do, I’m not passive aggressive AT ALL. I never even ask them to tidy up after themselves, I just quietly give the kitchen a good clean and tidy everyday or two to keep on top of it. They’re never even in the room when I do it.
Because the drying rack over fills because they leave SO MANY dishes I have to lay some on the counter for them to put away. I wonder if they take that as being passive aggressive, although it’s not intended like that. They also never put them away, they just lie about , but I draw the line at doing that for them. They aren’t children.
Unsure what to do, why do I have to decide between living in filth and keeping my friends ☹️☹️
Hey @pink00
I lived in halls in first year and in a flat with my friends in my second year at uni. I've been in your position when I once cleaned the kitchen after my flatmates left it untidy and I actually compromised going out with some friends to the beach for the afternoon to clean the messy kitchen it was that bad! I also worked early morning shifts in my part-time job and my friends would get annoyed when I came home at two in the afternoon after work and bug me to do my dishes. They used to leave my dishes in the basin outside my room! Some nights I just didn't have the chance to get around to doing them but I wouldn't leave them for 5 or 6 days in the sink. I think you just need to have a chat with your friends and be honest with them about how it's making you feel. I chatted to my flatmates and we worked it out (although I had only left my dishes for like half a day). Hope you can work things out with them
Melissa- Student Ambassador
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