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Fetishizing my virginity

There's a guy I've been dating for a while now I like him but some of the things he says are weird, he gets turned on by the idea of taking my virginity. It makes me question if he's with me because I'm a virgin and 'pure' he says he will teach me and turn me into a right sl*t. Should I just stop talking to him? He's also not the first guy to be excited by the idea of being my first.

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Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
There's a guy I've been dating for a while now I like him but some of the things he says are weird, he gets turned on by the idea of taking my virginity. It makes me question if he's with me because I'm a virgin and 'pure' he says he will teach me and turn me into a right sl*t. Should I just stop talking to him? He's also not the first guy to be excited by the idea of being my first.

Definitely stop talking to him !! I’ve seen a lot of boys like that and it’s kind of an achievement (?) to take girls virginity’s. It’s like w game to them🤦🏽*♀️ & remember your gut feeling is always right x
Reply 2
Original post by azeemahhh
Definitely stop talking to him !! I’ve seen a lot of boys like that and it’s kind of an achievement (?) to take girls virginity’s. It’s like w game to them🤦🏽*♀️ & remember your gut feeling is always right x

Thank you for the reply. Yeah I hate how some guys view it like an achievement how will I ever know if someone's with me because they genuinely like me? It makes me just wanna stay a virgin forever because I fear that I will lose it to the wrong person and regret it :frown:
He sounds like a misogynistic sh*t bag to me.
Can I ask how old you are?
Figuring out if he is fetishising you might depend on your age eg. if you are quite young then it might be unlikely because most people are virgins, but if you are older then he probably is.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Can I ask how old you are?
Figuring out if he is fetishising you might depend on your age eg. if you are quite young then it might be unlikely because most people are virgins, but if you are older then he probably is.

I'm 18 he's 24, he's also not a virgin he has been with a lot of girls. Do you think it's normal for him to react that way? Am I just overreacting?
Reply 6
Original post by Wotda****
He sounds like a misogynistic sh*t bag to me.

I guess I should just avoid him then?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 18 he's 24, he's also not a virgin he has been with a lot of girls. Do you think it's normal for him to react that way? Am I just overreacting?

Okay no I think that's really weird of him, it's definitely not normal and I think you're probably right about the f*tish thing.
If you were both 15 or something then whatever but 24?? That's really odd in my opinion.
Reply 8
Dump his ass. He’s a dirty disrespectful horse
Just don't be open about being a virgin, what's the need to tell a guy, until just before you are actually doing it. Then don't need to know, and it will stop any weirdness.
Original post by Anonymous
I guess I should just avoid him then?

Obviously yes cut off contact with him but based on his personality careful with how he reacts because he could get violent or obsessive very common with his type :/
Original post by Anonymous
Just don't be open about being a virgin, what's the need to tell a guy, until just before you are actually doing it. Then don't need to know, and it will stop any weirdness.


That's a good idea but sometimes they ask how many guys I've slept with so obviously I'd have to tell them.
Original post by Zarek
Dump his ass. He’s a dirty disrespectful horse


Original post by SuperiorPotato
Obviously yes cut off contact with him but based on his personality careful with how he reacts because he could get violent or obsessive very common with his type :/

You're both right, although it will be hard to completely cut him off because I really do like other aspects of him, maybe if I communicate with him about this issue he will change?
He would most likely be terrible in bed
He probably won’t want to talk to you if you are silly enough to have sex with him.
It's obviously some ego trip because he thinks you won't have any expectations. You could take that away by telling him what to do
Original post by Anonymous
That's a good idea but sometimes they ask how many guys I've slept with so obviously I'd have to tell them.

its no guy's business as to how many people you have slept with!!! if the guy cares about that then they already have issues im sorry
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
You're both right, although it will be hard to completely cut him off because I really do like other aspects of him, maybe if I communicate with him about this issue he will change?


I guess you need to follow your instincts. You can try challenging his attitude and tell him to cut out the s word
Original post by Anonymous
You're both right, although it will be hard to completely cut him off because I really do like other aspects of him, maybe if I communicate with him about this issue he will change?


That is the most stupid thing you could do never go with that thought because it is not up to you to change him and he won't change. He might put up an act for a while but then go back to how he was and you'll be trapped with him so please leave him while you can
there’s quite a difference in age between the two of you, and that also shows a difference in levels of maturity.

this man is fetishising your virginity, that’s a major red flag. he’s had multiple partners in the past, were any of them virgins? if he has this sort of fetish, it may be the case that he “dates” virgins, takes their virginity and leaves.

i really would advise you to stay clear of him.
(edited 3 years ago)

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