He gets soft when we have sex 😕

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Anonymous #1
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I’ve been with my bf for 3months. Sometimes I feel not 100% satisfied in some ways. One way sexually. When we’re having sex he goes soft a lot of times. He told me about this before but said it as in ‘ you know a penis don’t always stay hard’. I’ve never experienced this with other guys and it’s putting me off. Also I’m talking birth control and it’s obviously made me have low sex drive. Mine use to be HIGH.


What can I do about the fact he gets soft multiple times when we’re having sex? This is so embarrassing and I’ve never said nothing about it to him.

Isit normal to feel so ‘ugh’ this early into a relationship?
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Ackhnologia
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#2
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Hi there
Well
Quite a odd one here.
If you already had sex before with other men, I guess you know that he might be clearly lying to you.
I do not think a pen!s get soft when in.
He might have an issue. Maybe he needs to see a doctor.
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Anonymous #2
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well are you having rounds with him. 1st round normally you stay hard but if you go again. sometimes it can go soft
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StriderHort
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It does sound a bit like nerves or anxiety, if he can get hard in the first place it likely isn't a physical problem, i;d be more inclined to guess nerves or something like fatigue/diet.

Personally I can get a weird 'Don't think of pink elephants' things going, so if the thought of failure enters my head ill likely fail... it's a cruel trick, I simply need to be engrossed enough in what I'm doing not to notice
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ackhnologia)
Hi there
Well
Quite a odd one here.
If you already had sex before with other men, I guess you know that he might be clearly lying to you.
I do not think a pen!s get soft when in.
He might have an issue. Maybe he needs to see a doctor.
During sex he’ll get soft like twice or three times. And he’ll do stuff on a sly to make it hard again. But tbh it’s off putting
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
well are you having rounds with him. 1st round normally you stay hard but if you go again. sometimes it can go soft
During sex he’ll get soft like twice or three times. And he’ll do stuff on a sly to make it hard again but I can tell what he’s doing. But tbh it’s off putting but I feel bad for thinking like that Cus his my bf
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Tolgash
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It sounds like PiV sex might be a problem for now, and you'll have to definitely try and communicate with him so that you two can resolve this issue. Maybe you could try other forms of sex like oral or anal in the meantime? They can be just as pleasurable and intimate, especially the former (from my experience anyway).
Last edited by Tolgash; 2 months ago
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Ackhnologia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
During sex he’ll get soft like twice or three times. And he’ll do stuff on a sly to make it hard again but I can tell what he’s doing. But tbh it’s off putting but I feel bad for thinking like that Cus his my bf
He might have a problem.
Unless he is anxious or depressed, or any other.
You should consider expressing your worries to him.
Communication is the key in a relationship.
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Nova23$
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What if it’s during the first round
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karl pilkington
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How old are you both?
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asif007
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He doesn’t sound like much of a man when he can’t even keep it up, let alone satisfy his girl. You should look elsewhere.
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Anonymous #3
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My one goes soft aswell i have to tell it... Stay in position and ORDAAAAAA
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Anonymous #4
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I've had that problem with guys before, i was in a LTR and the problem went away eventually since it was anxiety related.

But how long has he been having this problem? And how far along into sex does it become a problem? (like 10 mins, 30 mins..)
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Anonymous #5
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sounds like it could be performance anxiety, he may be worried about the exact same thing you are talking about, he could be worrying that he's not satisfying you or 'good enough' for you therefore putting pressure on him, which isn't ideal for sex let's be honest. It took me a while to get the lad up on my first time, and since i'd never done it before obviously I had that pressure of not knowing if I was going to be 'good' at it.

The best fix for this may be to just talk to him about it and communicate with each other, since that is the most important in any relationship and even friendships too. it's important to note that just because he's struggling to keep the fella up it doesn't mean he's not in love with you, or doesn't want it. There are a number of things it could be but like I said it's best to just have a chat about it 1 on 1.

And if it continues to be a problem, a quick fix can be the use of Viagra or other blood flow enhancing medicines, but obviously use these at your own discretion and I would advise you to only use it if your bf is 18 or over just because that's the legal age of usage. I don't condone under age drug usage but like I said its at your discretion and is not always necessary

I hope you and your boyfriend work it out and live a healthy sex filled life!
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candydiva
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Some rlly critical info is missing... coz ALL guys get soft when having sex.... with me anyways....the real Q is after which round does this happen?

Anything less than 2 is a real prob. From 3 to 5 seems reasonable in fact if it's on round 5 then he'd doing well. Anything beyond 5 and u have the jackpot anyway!

ps Master has done me nine times - ok once, it was almost an ordeal after the 7th time but by that point we both knew we had to set our lifetime records lol! He wasn't xactly hard after that 9th round but considering 12 hours of almost nonstop pounding neither was I rdy for any more... it's the only time that's ever happened in my life.

I find most Tinder guys are good if they can go 3 rounds. So if ur dude is quitting on u before that then u can suggest intervention as proposed by posters above Viagra etc.
Last edited by candydiva; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #6
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He may have an issue like erectile dysfunction, or just be too stressed for it to stay hard.

Weird question but do you know anything about his masturbation habits? Sometimes they may cause problems.
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Ajaxze
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(Original post by candydiva)
Some rlly critical info is missing... coz ALL guys get soft when having sex.... with me anyways....the real Q is after which round does this happen?

Anything less than 2 is a real prob. From 3 to 5 seems reasonable in fact if it's on round 5 then he'd doing well. Anything beyond 5 and u have the jackpot anyway!

ps Master has done me nine times - ok once, it was almost an ordeal after the 7th time but by that point we both knew we had to set our lifetime records lol! He wasn't xactly hard after that 9th round but considering 12 hours of almost nonstop pounding neither was I rdy for any more... it's the only time that's ever happened in my life.

I find most Tinder guys are good if they can go 3 rounds. So if ur dude is quitting on u before that then u can suggest intervention as proposed by posters above Viagra etc.
this sounds like less of a helpful comment more like a brag. There's never any need to go more than 1 round, unless you both are up for it. It's no good peer pressuring the OP by saying not being able to last more than 1 round is a bad thing.
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Anonymous #7
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One word, 'foreplay' my dear, 'foreplay'. A lot of times a guy can't get hard people immediately think 'erectile dysfunction' but I think more often it is more likely down to a lack of 'foreplay'. You see you have to stoke the fire to produce steam, sure some guys can get hard just by the girl stripping off but that's probably most consistent in young teenager guys.

So OP needs to do foreplay with the guy beforehand, which of course adds to the fun or at least should do. See a guy isn't like a machine (well not mainly) we need the girl to play around with us first and if she looks like she is enjoying even better. For me the better technique a girl can use by far is to go slowly, softly, and sensually, the three 's's you could say I've had a girl go at it in the past like she was trying to crank start an old car, fast & furious, that to me didn't help at all, kind of lacked an understanding of what turns a guy on. It's not rapid machine like action that does in my opinion where the girl thinks it's like switching on a light switch, think off it more like turning up a dimmer switch, very gradually increasing the intensity. So all about running the tips of your fingers around his penis for example, including testicals of course. Play around with him for quite a while would probably be best, I guess around half an hour ish if not possibly more. If he tries to move in early and its not real hard play with him, withold him putting it in with your fingers, frustrate the guy, that may help to come up harder.

Same can be done with what you wear, wear stuff he likes, probably semi revealing stuff but don't take it off all at once. Again take time over taking it off and spend some time dangling it over him, again slowly to give him time to get aroused. In the end you might not need to even take it all off to get the job done.

So I'm general it's all about looking at it as an adventure than a process to be done event. As a guy I would say it's not that easy to bring up the idea of foreplay with a girl who doesn't go that way from the off. The worst reaction I can imagine to bringing up the subject is to what I want done, like a specific thing just to perform it like doing a task. For me it's not task related but more a time for exploration and adventure if you catch my drift.
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