We grew apart

Umm so my ex and I we're both 18. She became my girlfriend in June and we had a really cute relationship in the summer, we'd spend most of the time with each other and it was really easy going (we fought only once and it was my bad). We had cute memories as well, such as me asking her for prom by candles on the floor written "PROM?" and it was surrounded by flowers. We were really cute and I seriously thought she was going to be the "one". My friends approved of her my family approved of her, her friends and family approved of me as well...

Now in September, sadly, we grew apart because each of us went to a university in a different city. We stayed in contact for a month, saw each other only once in that month (September) and it was like something was really off about us and the relationship. We didn't flirt like we used to and such, the distance did us apart.
Now in the beginning of October she broke up with me long distance saying that she doesn't feel the relationship anymore, and that I'm an amazing guy and I deserve someone better than her etc etc... She said "I feel something is missing."

I hate that the relationship had to end like this. After the breakup by a day I tried to convince her that we can work it out but she was consistent and kept saying something is off and she doesn't feel it anymore. I respected her decision and talked casually once since the breakup (it's been a month and a bit).

However, next year I might be transferring universities (not into hers, but into another university in her city), and don't worry no, it's not for her, it's because the other university is better than mine and all my family and friends are there (I got into the university I am in as a last resort, I had no other choice).

Is it possible to get back together with her if I live in her city?

We had a really healthy relationship and apparently a very cute one, we got along in so many things, our families know each other well and I honestly can't get my mind off her.

How exactly do I approach this situation if I'm near her next year? How do I or how can I convince her that we were pretty good together and it honestly doesn't deserve to end just like that?

Reply 1

username5347244

If you guys still talk casually sometimes, I don't think it'd be weird if you just brought the situation up to her. Maybe something like, "I just wanted to let you know I am moving into blank (the city) because blank (your reasoning why). I was wondering if you'd be interested in meeting up ever and seeing if the spark is still there (or if we could still be together)?" Then, the ball'd be in her court. She can decide if she'd be interested or not.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

you're only 18 so i think its understandable.

If you were in your 20's then that's a diff situation

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by sunny.side.up

Yes that makes sense. The thing is on the breakup she was pretty consistent that it wasn't working and whatever... I was shocked.

Her literal words were "I don't believe this will ever work. I'm sorry, I can't be with you."

I was seriously shocked why she'd say that! In the summer I swear to God our relationship was perfect! How can she change her mind just as easily like that?

I think I'm going to need to do a little bit more than trying to convince her to give us a second chance...

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

you're only 18 so i think its understandable.

If you were in your 20's then that's a diff situation

Why?

Reply 5

username5347244

Original post by Anonymous

It makes sense she'd say that since you two are often so far apart. What would you need to do?

Reply 6

xoxAngel_Kxox

Sorry but your relationship can't have been 'perfect' if she wasn't willing to try to make the distance work.
It is difficult when you're in different cities, but you can keep in touch via text, phone, video call, and meet up when you're allowed (many, many couples are struggling to meet due to covid - you're not alone in that one).
If she didn't believe your relationship was worth that effort, it seems unlikely that she will change her mind, as you still won't be able to meet up so long as there are any restrictions in place, whether you're in the same city or not.
It makes me think, though, are you transferring because it's the same city as your ex girlfriend? It just seems like a little bit of a coincidence that it just so happens that there's a better course in that exact city that you want to do.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Why?

because im 20 and i am a very different person to who i was at 18. 2 years makes a big difference.

You mature and grow. You also realise that you have your whole life ahead of you. You will forget the person who you loved in your teen years, or at least not think about them as much. I promise you, and this is coming from someone who was once a very weak girl who allowed someone to speak down upon me constantly. Let them leave and live your life my friend

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

I applied to that university in the first place but I got rejected because I had already been accepted into the other uni (it's a long story.., has to do something with the scholarship, I applied for a scholarship.). I am allowed to transfer to it next year tho, and no it's not for her.

It wasnt perfect but it was really good, thats why Im shocked why she would give up so easily on us like that