Should you help people if there is nothing in it for you?

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Anonymous #1
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Should you help someone if it takes you a long time and there is nothing in it for you? What's your opinion on this?

I spent an hour helping a non native speaker with their uni essay (like rewording it so it makes grammatical sense). Am I just being too nice or is it the right thing?
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Should you help someone if it takes you a long time and there is nothing in it for you? What's your opinion on this?

I spent an hour helping a non native speaker with their uni essay (like rewording it so it makes grammatical sense). Am I just being too nice or is it the right thing?
Every day on TSR I help others where there is nothing in it for me. (definitely don't get paid for commenting on here, lol).

However I am not sure in this case. Although you are making their essay sound better, if they do not look up words themselves, or allow themselves to make mistakes, how can they learn?

Sometimes one can be too kind but don't worry, you thought you were helping at the time.
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stereotypeasian
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sounds like something I would do
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Every day on TSR I help others where there is nothing in it for me. (definitely don't get paid for commenting on here, lol).

However I am not sure in this case. Although you are making their essay sound better, if they do not look up words themselves, or allow themselves to make mistakes, how can they learn?

Sometimes one can be too kind but don't worry, you thought you were helping at the time.
Part of me thinks perhaps they don't know they were making mistakes (they written it by themselves) but I proof read it. So perhaps they need someone to show them the way and where they were going wrong? I don't know...
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by stereotypeasian)
sounds like something I would do
I would agree, but then you are just generally a kind person.

Let me tell you I have absolute form with this.

When I lived in France I had a friend who wanted me to help her with her English essays. I didn't do them for her, but did help her a bit. Then I felt taken for granted so I stopped helping her and her grades plummeted so much, she had to leave uni
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LovelyMrFox
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Yes, of course.
You have to weigh it. Dont let people walk all over your kindness but I bet the help was appreciated.
Last edited by LovelyMrFox; 1 month ago
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username5384492
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Definately! Seeing people happy is a reward in itself I help my elderly neighbour so much and she lowkey helped me discover that I wanted to be a doctor. I believe that it is rewarding, although it may not be right away
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
I would agree, but then you are just generally a kind person.

Let me tell you I have absolute form with this.

When I lived in France I had a friend who wanted me to help her with her English essays. I didn't do them for her, but did help her a bit. Then I felt taken for granted so I stopped helping her and her grades plummeted so much, she had to leave uni
What made you feel like you were taking for granted?

How do we know if we are being "used" or taken "advantage of"?
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Black Cat
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Altruism goes a long way I enjoy making people feel happy it's a nice feeling
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0le
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I've helped a lot of friends but I probably wouldn't go out of my way to help a stranger for a number of reasons.
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username5398218
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Yes, of course.
You have to weigh it. Dont let people walk all over your kindness but I bet the help was appreciated.
agree helping people all the time people soon realize that and then when you need help they dont wanna know
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Da14a
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As long as you are not labelled as the 'kind one' that does everything for whoever. I believe I was wayyy too kind to the wrong people but this is only personal experience. Being kind without reason, to those who won't 'repay' it with abuse, is rewarding in it's own way and should be encouraged. Make sure you are sorted first though.
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What made you feel like you were taking for granted?

How do we know if we are being "used" or taken "advantage of"?
Because I think she only wanted to be friends with me because I was English and could help her with her homework.

You know if you are being used because you are not liked for yourself, but what you can do for others.
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Synergy~
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Depends. In general, of course, but there should be limits to that. Some people take advantage of it, and sometimes it can be easy to forget about helping yourself getting caught up helping others. so it is good to set up boundaries, but I think helping others can be very rewarding in itself.
Last edited by Synergy~; 1 month ago
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tinygirl96
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It depends. This is a hard one to answer.
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Hellohsjakodsmka
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It's the right thing (imo), i'd do the same thing if i was in your position
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londonmyst
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Trust your gut instinct and listen to what your feelings are telling you.
It is fine to altruistically help someone; if you are able to help, can easily spare the time and willing to volunteer assistance.
But don't let anyone play you for a fool, get in the habit of exploiting your helpful nature for their own gain or demanding your assistance as their automatic right.
Last edited by londonmyst; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Because I think she only wanted to be friends with me because I was English and could help her with her homework.

You know if you are being used because you are not liked for yourself, but what you can do for others.
How do i know if someone likes me for me? I always had problems with my self worth.
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How do i know if someone likes me for me? I always had problems with my self worth.
Will they be there for you when you have problems? Do they show by the way they treat you, that they appreciate you?

I always judge people by if they mean well. If they drag me down, then they are out that door.
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Trust your gut instinct and listen to what your feelings are telling you.
It is fine to altruistically help someone; if you are able to help, can easily spare the time and willing to volunteer assistance.
But don't let anyone play you for a fool, get in the habit of exploiting your helpful nature for their own gain or demanding your assistance as their automatic right.
I am known for this at work, ie doing all the jobs nobody else wants to do. But then again, the customers flipping LOVE me.
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