I have a crush on a guy i supposedly hate

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Natalie Amaranth
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#1
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
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So there is this guy in my year, we first met during a project between the exco members of a school event. Initially, he seemed nice and considerate but I merely saw him as a friend.

When the event was over, we completely ignored each other if we ever chanced upon one another (which happened 5-6 times a day; I swear it was never intentional). He was a jerk to many of my close friends, being rude and inconsiderate and obnoxiously loud. That was when I grew to hate him.

We still texted however, if we ever needed notes or anything. And he seemed like a decent guy over text, he was kind and never afraid to help. It almost seemed like he was a completely different person.

I think perhaps it was this mysterious "dual personality" that got me thinking about him, but slowly i fell for him. I'd say that I absolutely despise him 65% of the time whereas the other 35% still finds him sweet, kind and caring.

I'm really conflicted as I supposedly hate him, yet when he texted me out of the blue to complain to me that he was about to get into trouble for something he felt wasn't his fault (he didn't give me the details) I spent a sleepless night worrying about him.

Do I like him or not? And should I really continue to like him if hes such an arse to everyone in real life?

Some points to note about him:
I do not find him physically attractive
He is not my usual type (Other than the fact that he is rather intelligent)
When I said ignore, we actually just exchange eye contact before pretending we didn't see each other again
He can be really intimidating at times
He randomly called me out before numerous times in front of his friends for the most mundane reasons (It gets irritating because he does it in a really rude manner)
He isn't well liked by many girls for the same reasons I dislike him
He isn't the only boy in my midst (In fact, the student ratio is 6:4, with 6 being boys and 4 being girls)

Some points about me:
I do get crushes pretty easily
This crush thing has been going on for nearly 5 months now
I shy away from unnecessary attention (which is really the opposite of my crush, he thrives in attention)
I am quite a quiet person who rarely speaks to people I am not close to
Last edited by Natalie Amaranth; 9 months ago
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Surnia
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There's a saying that how someone treats others is a good indiction of their character; if someone is dismissive towards shop assistants and serving staff they aren't a nice person, no matter how they may behave towards you. In this case, this boy is rude and obnoxious towards other people, so why are you interestedin someone with no manners or common courtesy?

The other question to ask yourself is if a friend described a boy behaving this badly and said that she was interested in him, what advice would you give?
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candydiva
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Yes u are smart girl and u know, already, wat is up. So do I. I will say it for u and I.

It sounds like he has been reading or watching some of those vids on "game" and "ladder theory" and how to ascend and that bs.

How a person treats others when they have lower status and/or think nobody is watching... IS WHO THEY R. Absolutely. 100pc. Interactions that are managed for the sake of image, "pulling" girls, bigging up, establishing macho status or playing some game at the emotional cost of unknowing participants are not mature. They are childish and emotionally abusive. They indicate a person with narcissitic issues and whose "real" character - which btw u very clearly see and understand already - will "manifest" later. BS. It is clear right now wat's up.

I will be direct with u. U would be a fool to ignore ur well-developed and accurate instincts and the v clear, detailed sit analysis which u posted above.

We see this kind of thing happening all the time irl as well. I would go further and say any girl who engages in a rel with a dude under the circumstances u detail is a classic female fool who self-deceives while knowing better for reasons that r not even clear to her and that confound all her friends and fam.
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lawless_seagoat
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this sounds like a wattpad enemy rivals to lovers fanfiction :lol:
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