leaving boyfriend for uni?

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baby.bear
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I just got offered a place at uni.

Part of me wants to go but part of me really doesn’t. I’d have to leave my boyfriend, my friends, my family and I really don’t feel ready.

Idk what to do. I feel like if I go I’ll regret it so I was going to defer.

If I defer, what should I do in the year out?? I live in a rural area and can’t drive.

Just questioning what to do. I don’t know if I’ll be smart enough to handle the work etc. There’s so much to think about and I just can’t do it.

I’m so stressed and don’t know what to do.
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Hey I’m in a similar position! Broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago with uni looming not too far in the future. Honestly you need to prioritise yourself. But if you feel like you’re gonna go and then regret it, then will you still feel this way even after a year of deferring? Going to university isn’t easy, and lots of people feel very torn between going and not going, so you’re not alone x
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baby.bear
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey I’m in a similar position! Broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago with uni looming not too far in the future. Honestly you need to prioritise yourself. But if you feel like you’re gonna go and then regret it, then will you still feel this way even after a year of deferring? Going to university isn’t easy, and lots of people feel very torn between going and not going, so you’re not alone x
Idk I’m so stressed!! I just don’t feel ready, I don’t turn 18 till the month before I’d leave so I just feel really young :/
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hajima
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Change is difficult but you have to accept it at some point. Would you be able to return home during the holidays to see your family? Is there another option that would allow you to commute into uni from home?

You might later regret not going into further education whilst you have the opportunity, and your relationship is likely to be temporary anyway so think about it carefully.
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baby.bear
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(Original post by hajima)
Change is difficult but you have to accept it at some point. Would you be able to return home during the holidays to see your family? Is there another option that would allow you to commute into uni from home?

You might later regret not going into further education whilst you have the opportunity, and your relationship is likely to be temporary anyway so think about it carefully.
i know it’s stressful.

the uni I want is 4 hours from home so I’d have no choice but to stay there. i would be able to commute home but train fares are £200 a ticket and I won’t have that kind of money
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username5161354
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(Original post by baby.bear)
Idk I’m so stressed!! I just don’t feel ready, I don’t turn 18 till the month before I’d leave so I just feel really young :/
Your age doesn’t matter It’s all about how confident and happy you feel about it. It’s really sounding like you want to defer the year, maybe you could learn to drive within the year or get a job and save up some money for uni. Maybe even do some travelling once Boris permits haha. Don’t get stressed about it. You have plenty of time to make a decision x
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baby.bear
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(Original post by blueberrybowl)
Your age doesn’t matter It’s all about how confident and happy you feel about it. It’s really sounding like you want to defer the year, maybe you could learn to drive within the year or get a job and save up some money for uni. Maybe even do some travelling once Boris permits haha. Don’t get stressed about it. You have plenty of time to make a decision x
thank you! yes i would learn to drive and work in the year out. it would only be retail or low paying work as I live in a really rural area. i think deferring might be the best option x
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hajima
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(Original post by baby.bear)
i know it’s stressful.

the uni I want is 4 hours from home so I’d have no choice but to stay there. i would be able to commute home but train fares are £200 a ticket and I won’t have that kind of money
I’m assuming you’ve already looked at the accommodation offered by the university, it may cost more to rent accommodation over the holidays than to buy a train ticket home?

Nonetheless I’m sure you will be fine, so many students are in a similar situation every year and you will most likely look back at your time at university fondly.
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baby.bear
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(Original post by hajima)
I’m assuming you’ve already looked at the accommodation offered by the university, it may cost more to rent accommodation over the holidays than to buy a train ticket home?

Nonetheless I’m sure you will be fine, so many students are in a similar situation every year and you will most likely look back at your time at university fondly.
yes! one weeks accommodation would cost just under the price of a train ticket. but I would have to pay for both the week I’m at home and the ticket. It would cost around £280 to be home.
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username5161354
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(Original post by baby.bear)
thank you! yes i would learn to drive and work in the year out. it would only be retail or low paying work as I live in a really rural area. i think deferring might be the best option x
I live really rural too. Not a lot out here huh.. luckily I was able to get a test in before lockdown 2 and passed. A car is a godsend out here. Still unemployed though, no jobs around here either! Just see how things pan out really, you can always change your mind last minute so there’s no pressure, so please don’t stress! We have enough of that already :0
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baby.bear
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(Original post by blueberrybowl)
I live really rural too. Not a lot out here huh.. luckily I was able to get a test in before lockdown 2 and passed. A car is a godsend out here. Still unemployed though, no jobs around here either! Just see how things pan out really, you can always change your mind last minute so there’s no pressure, so please don’t stress! We have enough of that already :0
thank you so much! if you don’t mind me asking how old you are? did you go to uni etc??
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