When you like your brother’s best friend

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Ok, so I have REALLY liked my brother’s best friend for AGES and we used to talk almost every night and send each other loads of jokes etx as we literally have the same sense of humour (my brother didn’t know we were talking).

Then, he got a girlfriend and completely blanked me. We never talk anymore and it makes me really sad.

Idk if we dont talk bc he doesn’t want to talk any more, or bc he got a girlfriend, but I dont think it is the former and if he was just talking to me in a friendly way, then why would he stop once he got a girlfriend? So do you think that he was doing it in a non-friendzone way? I really like him and miss talking to him - what do I do? Do I wait for him to break up with her or just let it go?

He started uni this September and they literally started dating before he had even finished his 3rd week - surely it won’t last?

PLS HELP!!
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Clover101
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#2
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Hey,

To me it doesn't sound like he was friend-zoning you. But it doesn't seem like he was projecting his feelings for you either unless of course he made it clear in the texts aside from the humorous jokes and casual chit-chat. It's **** that he's in a relationship because I would've told you to tell him that you like him but for him to keep it on the DL as I don't know how your friend or brother would react to this. This girlfriend of his is she controlling or does she come of a certain way that portrays her like this? If she does have a certain aura about her then that could be the reason why he has stopped messaging you but there's honestly only one way to find out and that's by confronting him about it. I hope this helps. x
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Clover101)
Hey,

To me it doesn't sound like he was friend-zoning you. But it doesn't seem like he was projecting his feelings for you either unless of course he made it clear in the texts aside from the humorous jokes and casual chit-chat. It's **** that he's in a relationship because I would've told you to tell him that you like him but for him to keep it on the DL as I don't know how your friend or brother would react to this. This girlfriend of his is she controlling or does she come of a certain way that portrays her like this? If she does have a certain aura about her then that could be the reason why he has stopped messaging you but there's honestly only one way to find out and that's by confronting him about it. I hope this helps. x
I have never met her so it is really hard to tell :/. Also, it is really hard because he is at uni now and I am still in school and he is really far away
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Clover101
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have never met her so it is really hard to tell :/. Also, it is really hard because he is at uni now and I am still in school and he is really far away
Have you tried sending him a message to see if he responds?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Clover101)
Have you tried sending him a message to see if he responds?
I messaged him a few weeks ago (just a random meme - we always used to send stuff like that to each other) and he left me on read!! Wtf we go from talking every day to him literally blanking me :/
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Final Fantasy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have never met her so it is really hard to tell :/. Also, it is really hard because he is at uni now and I am still in school and he is really far away
Uni is a lot different to school. He's gonna find a lot more in common at uni with other people now. I think you should probably let this one go.
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Anonymous #1
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I know... it just sucks :/
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Margo.22
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I think it's better to let him go. Maybe he talked to you because he liked it and he was interested in talking to you. But if he started dating another girl, then he didn't see you as his girlfriend.
It hurts, but it's better to forget about him now than to suffer for a long time, hoping that he will leave his girlfriend.
Are you younger than him? Maybe he thinks you're too young for him.
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Clover101
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I messaged him a few weeks ago (just a random meme - we always used to send stuff like that to each other) and he left me on read!! Wtf we go from talking every day to him literally blanking me :/
That's so rude of him. Yes, I get that he may want to focus on his relationship but there is absolutely no need to act like a jerk toward you by ghosting you, it's completely uncalled for and makes absolutely no sense for him to ghost you, I mean what's gonna happen if he comes home or breaks up with her? Is he gonna come running to you with his tail between his legs acting like he never treated you like you were disposable I'm so so sorry that this happening to you it's not fair to you or your feelings x
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Margo.22)
I think it's better to let him go. Maybe he talked to you because he liked it and he was interested in talking to you. But if he started dating another girl, then he didn't see you as his girlfriend.
It hurts, but it's better to forget about him now than to suffer for a long time, hoping that he will leave his girlfriend.
Are you younger than him? Maybe he thinks you're too young for him.
Hardly - he is in the year above and just started uni and I am in my last year of school :/

Thanks for the advice! <3
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Clover101)
That's so rude of him. Yes, I get that he may want to focus on his relationship but there is absolutely no need to act like a jerk toward you by ghosting you, it's completely uncalled for and makes absolutely no sense for him to ghost you, I mean what's gonna happen if he comes home or breaks up with her? Is he gonna come running to you with his tail between his legs acting like he never treated you like you were disposable I'm so so sorry that this happening to you it's not fair to you or your feelings x
That’s what I thought! I get that he has a gf now or whatever but no need to blank me! He could at least be nice about it - he is normally one of the kindest/most thoughtful people I know and I don’t understand why he is just ignoring me/being rude.

He didn’t even tell me he had a gf - he just blanked me and then I found out from my brother a week and a half later (and my brother doesn’t know I was talking to him/like him so I had to pretend to be all happy for him grr).

I cant tell if he did it because he liked me and wanted to move on or if he is just secretly a jerk ugh 🤦🏼*♀️
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok, so I have REALLY liked my brother’s best friend for AGES and we used to talk almost every night and send each other loads of jokes etx as we literally have the same sense of humour (my brother didn’t know we were talking).

Then, he got a girlfriend and completely blanked me. We never talk anymore and it makes me really sad.

Idk if we dont talk bc he doesn’t want to talk any more, or bc he got a girlfriend, but I dont think it is the former and if he was just talking to me in a friendly way, then why would he stop once he got a girlfriend? So do you think that he was doing it in a non-friendzone way? I really like him and miss talking to him - what do I do? Do I wait for him to break up with her or just let it go?

He started uni this September and they literally started dating before he had even finished his 3rd week - surely it won’t last?

PLS HELP!!
good luck
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candydiva
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That’s what I thought! I get that he has a gf now or whatever but no need to blank me! He could at least be nice about it - he is normally one of the kindest/most thoughtful people I know and I don’t understand why he is just ignoring me/being rude.

He didn’t even tell me he had a gf - he just blanked me and then I found out from my brother a week and a half later (and my brother doesn’t know I was talking to him/like him so I had to pretend to be all happy for him grr).

I cant tell if he did it because he liked me and wanted to move on or if he is just secretly a jerk ugh 🤦🏼*♀️
The joys of ghosting... not....

Have u thought that new gf doesn't like him communicating with other girls he was close to? This is a very typical thing in young rels. Maybe he's not a jerk just young and in love with her and obeying Her Majesty's wishes. B4 u freak out u should put urself in her place...would u do the same thing if ur new lovey bf was communicating with close female besties in hometown?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by candydiva)
The joys of ghosting... not....

Have u thought that new gf doesn't like him communicating with other girls he was close to? This is a very typical thing in young rels. Maybe he's not a jerk just young and in love with her and obeying Her Majesty's wishes. B4 u freak out u should put urself in her place...would u do the same thing if ur new lovey bf was communicating with close female besties in hometown?
True - I have never met her so I really don't know :/ ugh this SUCKS! How do I stop thinking of him every 10 seconds? How can he be in love with her after such a short amount of time ughh they literally met in September and became bf/gf in like 3 weeks
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candydiva
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Time for tuff meds from Candy lol! Girl it sux.... coz u allowed this to happen... ur description of the luv u have for him is very passive. I bet u never stated to him that u had such feelings. U lacked the courage to state these to him and let the chips fall where they may. Ofc in that sit he is not going to make decisions/act based upon wish fulfilment and longing no matter how close he felt to u. Quite rightly he acted on new potential.

Going forwards if u rlly have such feelings and u know he's going away... u invite xactly this by being passive. Be bold and active and approach him. Manifest grrl power!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by candydiva)
Time for tuff meds from Candy lol! Girl it sux.... coz u allowed this to happen... ur description of the luv u have for him is very passive. I bet u never stated to him that u had such feelings. U lacked the courage to state these to him and let the chips fall where they may. Ofc in that sit he is not going to make decisions/act based upon wish fulfilment and longing no matter how close he felt to u. Quite rightly he acted on new potential.

Going forwards if u rlly have such feelings and u know he's going away... u invite xactly this by being passive. Be bold and active and approach him. Manifest grrl power!
Ok fair - thanks for the tough love ahaha. I guess we'll see if this gf lasts rip
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ANM775
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok, so I have REALLY liked my brother’s best friend for AGES and we used to talk almost every night and send each other loads of jokes etx as we literally have the same sense of humour (my brother didn’t know we were talking).

Then, he got a girlfriend and completely blanked me. We never talk anymore and it makes me really sad.

Idk if we dont talk bc he doesn’t want to talk any more, or bc he got a girlfriend, but I dont think it is the former and if he was just talking to me in a friendly way, then why would he stop once he got a girlfriend? So do you think that he was doing it in a non-friendzone way? I really like him and miss talking to him - what do I do? Do I wait for him to break up with her or just let it go?

He started uni this September and they literally started dating before he had even finished his 3rd week - surely it won’t last?

PLS HELP!!

from what you've said I do believe he was attracted to you

whether or not there was/is actually any hope for you two is harder to say. most guys would be very apprehensive about dating their friends younger sister. a lot of guys just wouldn't go there...

he seems to have a gf now and be blanking you so just try to forget him and move on..
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ANM775)
from what you've said I do believe he was attracted to you

whether or not there was/is actually any hope for you two is harder to say. most guys would be very apprehensive about dating their friends younger sister. a lot of guys just wouldn't go there...

he seems to have a gf now and be blanking you so just try to forget him and move on..
yeah ugh easier said than done :/ at least he is at uni now so I can avoid him while I try to get over it.
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