I’m obsessed with my Latin teacher

Thank you x. I do think I am more mature than others of my age only because of what I’ve been through in the last 3 years. I don’t know if this is bad (probably is) but I see him as a second dad. I don’t have a good relationship with my parents and actually I think, recently, I’ve told him more than my actual parents. I do know that that’s bad and I need to stop relying on him as much and talk to my parents a lot more. But at the moment I’m a bit stuck

That's a very big possibility and would explain the attraction. The absense of a good male role model in the home environment would result in you looking for that male role model elsewhere. It's only bad if you're the one responsible for the disconnect from your parents. Some people just don't get along with their parents, but if you think efforts could be made on your end, then definitely give it a try. If the relationship with your dad improved, then it's possible that the feelings for your teacher would fade as well.

But if you don't mind my asking, why aren't you close to your parents?

Ever since my mums parents passed she’s put a lot of pressure on me to do well. I completely understand her and feel really bad and always make sure she ok. But it’s been getting way to much. I’ve had conversations with her and told her how I felt but I doesn’t change a thing. Everything has to be done her way and while I’m trying my hardest, I need a break. Also my dad isn’t around a lot of the time cause he’s always locked away in his office busy at work. I do try and talk to him whenever I can and although we are closer than I am to my mum, I just feel like my teacher understands me a lot more. I am trying but it’s hard. Some days all I want is to cry and to have a hug. I know I can’t hug my teacher but whenever I talk to him, he makes sure to show that he cares for me but with my parents, although they care, it doesn’t come across. I have amazing friends but honestly sometimes I just want my teacher. I know that’s so wrong but I can’t help it

It doesn't sound like your fault. Pressure can be really damaging and it's a hard thing to live with. It sounds like you've tried to converse with your mum and dad already, but you just feel closer with your teacher. Especially at your age where emotions are running high and life is constantly changing for you, it's so important to have someone in your life who understands you and is able to give you closure. We've all been there to various extents, but your personal source of closure is your teacher, which is a difficult problem because you're not able to derive said closure from him in the same way as you would from a friend your own age.

If your parents are a lost cause, then I'd recommend talking to other classmates or your friends. You can still talk to your teacher of course, as long as it's healthy for you. Turn your feelings for him into a positive rather than a negative. Be thankful that he's in your life and able to give you closure, rather than focusing on what you can't get from him.

Thank you x. I do think I am more mature than others of my age only because of what I’ve been through in the last 3 years. I don’t know if this is bad (probably is) but I see him as a second dad. I don’t have a good relationship with my parents and actually I think, recently, I’ve told him more than my actual parents. I do know that that’s bad and I need to stop relying on him as much and talk to my parents a lot more. But at the moment I’m a bit stuck

Of course - thanks. I think because I look up to him so much and because he’s always there for me and he does treat me differently to other students, it’s why I can’t let him go just yet. I need to just focus on gcse now and just think of him as a ‘friend’ who I can talk to. It’s going to be hard though because my feelings for him are so strong but I can give it a go.

what would you say he does more/different for you than other students ? because if you really like him you have to evaluate your chances that he likes you and then you can form a relationship after you leave school and get a bit older . If he doesn't like you it can end up a bit weird (if you know what i mean considering the age gap and that his your teacher)

I don't envy your position, it must be really hard. 4 years would be a long time with those feelings, so I'm just thinking what's best for you. Distancing might be a helpful decision if you feel like the relationship is getting to dangerous territories. Do what you feel is best for you.

Good luck with it all, you can do it!

I have been in the exact same situation. My maths teacher was literally perfect. But he was 32 and married. I would do exactly what you’re doing, trying to see him as often as possible etc. My honest advice is to let time pass and you will get bored. Such a big age gap in a relationship is very rare especially with one being very young.

Ah ok thanks so much for telling. The only difference here is that he’s single and has often said that . Still i hope this goes away soon cause I don’t want it affecting my school work

Thank you x. I do think I am more mature than others of my age only because of what I’ve been through in the last 3 years. I don’t know if this is bad (probably is) but I see him as a second dad. I don’t have a good relationship with my parents and actually I think, recently, I’ve told him more than my actual parents. I do know that that’s bad and I need to stop relying on him as much and talk to my parents a lot more. But at the moment I’m a bit stuck

woahh i guess this is pretty serious to you ... maybe try and occupy yourself in other things? thats not the best advice ik but its good to try its going to be hard but i'm sure you'll get through it. try an after school club?go for a walk, go shopping etc etc. It will be hard but dw you'll find someone and you'll think back in a few months probably and think why did i even like him? if you want to talk im here lmao rant anything ill listen to you just pm me

How are you coping ? Is the urge still there ?

Thank you so much. I have something on everyday after school - sometimes two things. I even do a lot on the weekends and as I said do a lot of sport, music and I like to think I’m quite academically strong. Nothing is working at the moment but I’m just gonna try x

Yh. I spoke to him today in school because I needed some advice. We had mufti day today (where you can wear your own clothes to school) and he said I looked nice. It hurt though because I can’t do anything. Only time will tell I guess

no worries! thats so good which sports do you do? and how was school today did you see him? itll be hard but you'll get through it ! x