I struggle to make friends at University.

I'm currently in my first term at university. At the time of writing I can hear a party going on next door I wasn't invited to. It's a big party. I have tried to be friendly with my flat mates and course mates but I can't seem to make a connection and I find I spend most of my nights at university alone. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. The majority of my college (Oxford) are private school and I'm through and through state educated. I don't feel like it's fair to solely attribute it to that though. I have long term friends at home and a girlfriend who goes to a separate university. But no one here. How do I sort this? It feels embarrassing to even write let alone talk to someone about. Simply putting myself out there just doesn't seem to work.

I'm currently in my first term at university. At the time of writing I can hear a party going on next door I wasn't invited to. It's a big party. I have tried to be friendly with my flat mates and course mates but I can't seem to make a connection and I find I spend most of my nights at university alone. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. The majority of my college (Oxford) are private school and I'm through and through state educated. I don't feel like it's fair to solely attribute it to that though. I have long term friends at home and a girlfriend who goes to a separate university. But no one here. How do I sort this? It feels embarrassing to even write let alone talk to someone about. Simply putting myself out there just doesn't seem to work.

If you can, pluck up the courage to go into the party and make conversation with the first friendly face you see. I know it is really hard but if you can act confident even if you are not feeling it - it can really help. If anyone is rude or makes you feel unwanted then they aren’t worth bothering with in any case and you don’t need friends like that anyway. Once the vaccine comes in next year it will be easier to get out and about - join some societies and also the better weather will help then. Try not to pigeon hole state or private students - everyone is just human and have their own issues, back stories etc. It will get better.

Off topic, but what do they think they’re doing having a party when the rest of us are all still in lockdown?

The general consensus of university students is that lockdown doesn't matter, at least not at uni. Not saying that's right but it's the mindset most people operate with. It also seems kinda counterintuitive when lessons and classes are still done in person and universities have stayed open the entire month that socialising within it is not allowed.

My child's at Oxford (a first year) and he is loving the work but hating the college. He says it's very cliquey and he's just been left out of stuff all the time. He had a few friends in the first term but this term, they've just dropped him. He is a normal, fun loving guy and has absolutely no idea why he hasn't made friends. Not one. He works in his room all day and never goes out in the evening. He has become very depressed and socially nervous as a result. I wish he'd leave but he's adamant he won't lose his chance of an Oxford degree. I tell you this to show you you're not alone. I hope things improve for you and all students who are lonely.