advice on where to live as a student with anxiety

Badges: 5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
content warning - mental health , starving

I need to start planning where I'm going to live for my next year of university but I'm rlly struggling to know what's best for me

In my first year, I was in shared accommodation (en-suite, 7 flatmates, shared kitchen), and I didn't completely hate it but anxiety made it a not-so-fun experience. for example, there were multiple instances where I sat in my room and just let myself starve because I couldn't bring myself to face my flatmates in the kitchen when cooking a meal (they were fine ppl, nothing against them- I just have bad anxiety lol)

so, in my second year, now, I'm living alone in a studio flat (no flatmates, own bathroom+kitchen), and I love it bc there's nothing triggering my anxiety - but at the same time I hate it because theres no company- and being alone badly affects my mental health and I'm in a worse state than I was living with other people.

If I could find people I'm comfortable living with in a shared house, believe me I would- but with anxiety I'm not exactly the greatest at making close friendships nor even being comfortable around people whether I'm close to them or not.

If anyone has any advice please please share bc I feel like I have no options that I like completely - like I have to sacrifice part of my mental health for every option
Badges: 13
Report 1 month ago
Hey, first of all I’m sorry you’re going through this! I know what it’s like waiting in your room for people to leave before you go get your food. People would take ages to cook and leave the kitchen (because ofcourse it’s their kitchen too since it’s shared and they need to cook too). But in the end I realised my flat mates are very nice people so they won’t care if I need to go cook and the conversations between us would just flow. Even though I was anxious about going in to cook I did it anyways and after the first time it became easier. If you really feel you can’t face them you can always get ready made meals and just go into the kitchen to heat it up and bring it into your room. If you’re flatmates ask then say you’re on a zoom call or something or that you’re working on an assignment so can’t talk right now.

In terms of your mental health I would strongly advise you to seek help if you can from your GP or university as they should have a counselling service available. I know anxiety is tough to deal with so please don’t be afraid to get help!

If your uni has a private lettings online board maybe you could put an add up outlining your situation. You never know if similar people may come forward then you’ll all understand each other and live comfortably. I’m not really sure how this works but definitely one avenue to check out!

Also in the mean time try joining some societies doing virtual events this year that way you can make some friends and get comfortable talking to them online in a safe setting and if you feel your anxiety acting up you can just cut the call!

Sorry for my wafly answer, I’m not even sure if it makes sense! But I tried writing down everything that came to my head. But I’m sorry you’re in this situation and I hope everything gets works out for you!
Last edited by walia321; 1 month ago

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