Anonymous #1
#1
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hey, idk what to do, or how to act so lemme tell u my situation and please help me:

My uncle owns a restaurant, and my dad's the manager. But there's this waiter, and he's really fit, and i think i like him. He's 18 and I'm 14, but im mature for my age, which makes it slightly better, but he's rlly cute, and we've flirted, and he speaks really sweetly of me, and to me. Because he works w/ my dad, i thought it might get rlly awkward, and if i make a big move, my uncle (who's religious and very against bf and gf - so is my dad- will find out.) And if they find out, i'm screwed. He's really sweet, and I'm 85% sure he likes me. I would have said 95% but he recently got a gf, even though he's still flirty and acts 'cool' when I'm around. I knew him before he got his gf and he doesn't seem to be any happier with his current gf. I want to follow him on Insta, but it's too risky, and he's quite close with my Dad, so i don't know whether i should pursue this or not. PLease help, and thoughts??
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Anonymous #2
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4 years isn’t a big age gap in my opinion IF YOUR BOTH LEGAL (which you are not). If he’s just gotten in a relationship you should definitely not make the first move - sure follow him on Instagram but wait and see if he messages you (following might let u get to know him better if you only know him from work). He might just flirt cos he’s at work and he’s bored and this might be why he doesn’t seem much happier since getting his new gf.
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deadroseex
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LMAO ARE U DUMB?

Being 14 and mature for your age lol no way

however, NO 18 YEAR OLD EVER TO EXSIST would get into a relationship with A MINOR if they have COMMON SENSE.

Plus, do not follow him on insta, it's a bit weird and if he is close with your dad, he might find out and it might be weird for him. And if he's in a relationship then you shouldn't bother tbh.

You do you though! x
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Mesopotamian.
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No offence but you don’t sound that mature if you still think he’s interested in you in the same way as you are in him after he’s gotten himself a girlfriend.

I think he’s just being friendly - some people are naturally flirtatious but it doesn’t necessary mean anything.

Your relationship would also be very limited in what you can do since you are a) still under the age of consent and b) not an adult whereas he is.

This sounds like a typical teenage crush. By all means continue to be his friend, but I think you should drop the idea of anything more serious, at least until you’re older and neither of you are in a relationship.
Last edited by Mesopotamian.; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks for giving a proper inaggressive response unlike some people.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by deadroseex)
LMAO ARE U DUMB?

Being 14 and mature for your age lol no way
Thanks for the aggressiveness, and I am mature thank you very much. Im not like most girls. I'm a high-achiever and for once in my life, I'd like a bit of support, and not an "LMAO ARE YOU DUMB" response. Thanks a lot for the lovely moral support, you could have said that nicer, but then again, shows how you have been brought up. Sounds like you've had a disrupting teenagehood, so don't empty that anger on people on TSR, thanks!
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josie71202
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Don't pursue it. Honestly you'll regret it. Also I'm not trying to be aggressive or anything I've just been there. Every 14 year old girl thinks she's mature for her age
Last edited by josie71202; 1 month ago
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Wannabevetnurse
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hey, idk what to do, or how to act so lemme tell u my situation and please help me:

My uncle owns a restaurant, and my dad's the manager. But there's this waiter, and he's really fit, and i think i like him. He's 18 and I'm 14, but im mature for my age, which makes it slightly better, but he's rlly cute, and we've flirted, and he speaks really sweetly of me, and to me. Because he works w/ my dad, i thought it might get rlly awkward, and if i make a big move, my uncle (who's religious and very against bf and gf - so is my dad- will find out.) And if they find out, i'm screwed. He's really sweet, and I'm 85% sure he likes me. I would have said 95% but he recently got a gf, even though he's still flirty and acts 'cool' when I'm around. I knew him before he got his gf and he doesn't seem to be any happier with his current gf. I want to follow him on Insta, but it's too risky, and he's quite close with my Dad, so i don't know whether i should pursue this or not. PLease help, and thoughts??
Theres a 4 year gap which is fine if you were over 16....but he knows people from your family and he's got a GF. Maybe just leave it and wait til your physically older.
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Surnia
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How would you feel if you were 18 and had a boyfriend, and some 14yo boy was flirting with you, hanging around and messaging you, because he wanted to go out with you?

Don't go inserting yourself between 2 people a relationship because you think it's not working and you are mature enough to be the girlfriend of an adult; you aren't.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
How would you feel if you were 18 and had a boyfriend, and some 14yo boy was flirting with you, hanging around and messaging you, because he wanted to go out with you?

Don't go inserting yourself between 2 people a relationship because you think it's not working and you are mature enough to be the girlfriend of an adult; you aren't.
I never said anything bout being a gf. I'm not even looking for it, just a cose friend with potential.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the aggressiveness, and I am mature thank you very much. Im not like most girls. I'm a high-achiever and for once in my life, I'd like a bit of support, and not an "LMAO ARE YOU DUMB" response. Thanks a lot for the lovely moral support, you could have said that nicer, but then again, shows how you have been brought up. Sounds like you've had a disrupting teenagehood, so don't empty that anger on people on TSR, thanks!
OK, let's give you a maturity test.
I realise that these questions are hypothetical.
However, your answers and how you give them should give a good indication as to how mature you actually are.

1 If a jumbo jet crashed into your town whilst you were on a field trip and wiped out your family and your uncle, how would you cope when it came to finding a place to live, getting money to pay for the essentials, shopping, cooking, cleaning for yourself, whilst still continuing your GCSE studies?

2 How would you feel about the waiter if he were to get caught and sent to prison for having sex with you, as well as him being added to the Sex Offender's Register?

3 Which of the following is more likely and why? (a) the waiter will leave his girlfriend and start a sexual relationship with you. (b) the waiter will tell you that he will leave his girlfriend or has left his girlfriend. He has sex with you. But he hasn't left her. He lied.

4 You make a pass at the waiter, he turns you down, what do you do next?

5 If you were to have sex with the waiter, for how many years do you think you and him would be an item? And how have you arrived at your answer?

6 You have sex with the waiter. Your dad finds out. How do you respond?

7 You meet a man that seems better than the waiter. What do you do?

8 After having sex with the waiter, you miss a period. What do you do?

9 How do you find out if the waiter is carrying a sexually transmittable infection?

10 What are the pros and cons of the various birth control methods? What will you use and why?
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Final Fantasy
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Have you heard of statutory rape?
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deadroseex
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the aggressiveness, and I am mature thank you very much. Im not like most girls. I'm a high-achiever and for once in my life, I'd like a bit of support, and not an "LMAO ARE YOU DUMB" response. Thanks a lot for the lovely moral support, you could have said that nicer, but then again, shows how you have been brought up. Sounds like you've had a disrupting teenagehood, so don't empty that anger on people on TSR, thanks!
I cannot stop laughing oh my god you are too funnyyyy b x
You don't know **** about me or my life so don't bother making false accusations either darling, it shows how YOU have been brought up, did you have a disrupting teenagehood?
Plus, I am not stupidly in love with a man older than me, who is in a relationship so I mean it reflects on you tryna move to him like that lollll bless you, so mature aren't you xxx
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I never said anything bout being a gf. I'm not even looking for it, just a cose friend with potential.
Potential for what?

You said you are flirting and wanted to make a 'big move' on this guy; sounds like someone wants a boyfriend! Same principle applies though; why would an 18yo guy with a girlfriend want a 14yo child as a friend?
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ashtolga23
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At 14, that’s too big an age gap, plus it’s awkward with family. Difficult I know, but you need to move on from this one. Plus I think by the sounds of it with his girlfriend, this may be wishful thinking more than anything.
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ashtolga23
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Pedophilia is an attraction to prepubescent children so you’re not even along the right lines, if I’m ignoring the blatant racism.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by deadroseex)
I cannot stop laughing oh my god you are too funnyyyy b x
You don't know **** about me or my life so don't bother making false accusations either darling, it shows how YOU have been brought up, did you have a disrupting teenagehood?
Plus, I am not stupidly in love with a man older than me, who is in a relationship so I mean it reflects on you tryna move to him like that lollll bless you, so mature aren't you xxx
Pahahaha, can you seriously not think of your own insults? Have to use mine? lmao. get a life.
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deadroseex
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Pahahaha, can you seriously not think of your own insults? Have to use mine? lmao. get a life.
lmfao I was using your words against you 😂 ur so funnyyyyy omg cracking me up proper. You are 14 and acting like your 21, girlll ur fresh out of year 7 move.
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𝔸𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕟 𝔸𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕒
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hey, idk what to do, or how to act so lemme tell u my situation and please help me:

My uncle owns a restaurant, and my dad's the manager. But there's this waiter, and he's really fit, and i think i like him. He's 18 and I'm 14, but im mature for my age, which makes it slightly better, but he's rlly cute, and we've flirted, and he speaks really sweetly of me, and to me. Because he works w/ my dad, i thought it might get rlly awkward, and if i make a big move, my uncle (who's religious and very against bf and gf - so is my dad- will find out.) And if they find out, i'm screwed. He's really sweet, and I'm 85% sure he likes me. I would have said 95% but he recently got a gf, even though he's still flirty and acts 'cool' when I'm around. I knew him before he got his gf and he doesn't seem to be any happier with his current gf. I want to follow him on Insta, but it's too risky, and he's quite close with my Dad, so i don't know whether i should pursue this or not. PLease help, and thoughts??
Hiya luv!
I'm 14 too. I understand how your feeling. I had a crush on this guy whose 18 and we flirted from time to time and my parents and his parents were very close friends. I like him a lot but I knew that my parents and family are against the whole bf & gf thing just like ur uncle and dad. I also realised that he's 18 and I'm 14 - it's not legal lovely. As much as I liked him I couldn't make a first move or do anything as I knew it isn't right.
This is a 4 year age gap and it's not legal so nothing can really happen. This is kinda like a teenage crush and let me tell u I've had a ton but never did anything about them cus I knew it's not legal. Even if you were to have a relationship it would be very restricted in a way due to the fact that your underage and your not an adult whereas he is.
With me and my crush who was 18, I didn't do anything like I said but was still his friend. By all means, stay his friend but leave the idea of anything bigger happening between you to until your slightly older. You could follow his Insta if you want to but I wouldn't if I were u just incase your dad or uncle finds out u know.
Hope this helped lovely!
If you need any help in the future with things like this or just want a chat pm me any time :P
Zara x
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𝔸𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕟 𝔸𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕒
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
OK, let's give you a maturity test.
I realise that these questions are hypothetical.
However, your answers and how you give them should give a good indication as to how mature you actually are.

1 If a jumbo jet crashed into your town whilst you were on a field trip and wiped out your family and your uncle, how would you cope when it came to finding a place to live, getting money to pay for the essentials, shopping, cooking, cleaning for yourself, whilst still continuing your GCSE studies?

2 How would you feel about the waiter if he were to get caught and sent to prison for having sex with you, as well as him being added to the Sex Offender's Register?

3 Which of the following is more likely and why? (a) the waiter will leave his girlfriend and start a sexual relationship with you. (b) the waiter will tell you that he will leave his girlfriend or has left his girlfriend. He has sex with you. But he hasn't left her. He lied.

4 You make a pass at the waiter, he turns you down, what do you do next?

5 If you were to have sex with the waiter, for how many years do you think you and him would be an item? And how have you arrived at your answer?

6 You have sex with the waiter. Your dad finds out. How do you respond?

7 You meet a man that seems better than the waiter. What do you do?

8 After having sex with the waiter, you miss a period. What do you do?

9 How do you find out if the waiter is carrying a sexually transmittable infection?

10 What are the pros and cons of the various birth control methods? What will you use and why?
Im the same age as the OP and I want to see how mature I am (not saying I'm mature tho hehe) sooooo yh Imma have a go at this maturity test hehe:

1. Okay so I have a credit card with all my savings on (has like £150,000 on it - I've got a wealthy family hehe) so I would use that money to invest in essentials in life and paying the bills for my house presuming I still have the house I lived when my parents were still alive. I would also inform my school about my situation and tell them I may not be able to pay the school fees all at once (i go to a private school) and then they may be able to help some way. I would then plan a way on how to use the money I have and make sure not to spend it on unessential things. I would carry on with my position as a dentists nurse assistant (yes I am a dentists nurse's assistant at my local dental practice - I do like little jobs and take notes on dentistry) and I would tell them what's happened so they would understand I may not do my job a lot as I would be trying to do well at school and stuff.

2. I would feel guilty in a way cus he would have asked for my consent if he could have s*x with me so it would be my fault for saying yes he could at such a young age and I would have told the court that I gave him consent to have s*x with me so it isn't necessarily his fault. HOWEVER, if he had s*x with me even if I said no then I would not feel guilty and would say it served him right for being sent to jail and being added to the s*x offenders register.

3. This is a tough one. Both could happen but both could not happen at the same time. It would be unlikely for either to happen in a sense as he hasn't expressed his feelings and so it would seem as both would not happen. Another thing is that if the waiter has common sense he knows that he is an adult and that he shouldn't have s*x or start a s*xual relationship with a minor. But on the other hand, he may have s*x with you if his current girlfriend doesn't want s*x and he wants to and his only option is you. But overall I think both a and b are unlikely.

4. Move on. I tried, he turned me down, end of story. I would also realise that he was an adult and I was a child and that it wouldn't have worked out in the first place so I shouldn't be too down about it and move on and maybe find someone a similar age to me.

5. If I'm being honest I don't think very long at all. I think after having s*x one of us would come to our senses and realise that we had s*x and it isn't legal for us to have a relationship so we wouldn't be an item and try and forget it happened and maybe if pregnancy did happen an abortion or smth.

6. I would apologise. I wasn't in my senses. I had s*x at age 14 with an 18-year-old. I would apologise dearly for my actions.

7. Well, if this man I meet is a suitable age example maybe 1 or 2 years older than me so we're both minors then I may try and pursue a relationship or become close friends with him HOWEVER if this man I meet is older than the waiter or of a similar age to the waiter I wouldn't do anything. Knowing that I am a minor and this man like the waiter is an adult I know a relationship shouldn't happen as its not legal.

8. Get a pregnancy test. You've missed a period after having s*x this could mean your pregnant so it's best to get a pregnancy test just in case

9. See if he has had his HPV vaccination? And go to the doctor and tell them about what happened and maybe there's something that can check if the waiter had a s*xually transmittable dieasea? - sorry I honestly have no clue

10. Well there are many different birth control methods. A pro is that most of them are highly effective but a con is the necessity of taking medication continuously. Birth control pills are alright but can also slightly increase the risk of health problems like stroke, blood clots, liver tumours etc - sometimes yet very rarely can lead to death. I don't know which birth control method to go for though.


This made me think for some time but I think I got some alright answers hehe.
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