The Student Room Group

is a 5 year age gap too big?

im 16 and the guy i like is 21 (he´s a really close family friend, i see him everyday). when i turn 18, he will be 23. It will be legal for us to date and stuff of that sort. My question is, is that too old? he´s quiet immature for his age

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Is this a crush or does he have an interest in you
If the 21 year old was interested in a 16 year old that would be a bit of a problem, but not really the other way, especially when you're 18. 5 years isn't that bad
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Is this a crush or does he have an interest in you

i like him!! he doesn´t hit on me or anything lol
Original post by Anonymous
i like him!! he doesn´t hit on me or anything lol

Well it depends, if you were to go out and your parents would be okay with it then that's fine. If they are not, and you're sneaking around with a 21 year old and avoiding your parents, he's a pedophile
it’s a little odd that a 21 year old would have interest in a 16 year old. once you’re 18 there would be no problem if you chose to pursue it.

please keep in mind that you’ll be in different stages of life and maturity though. he may want to settle down quicker as he’s older, but you may want to spend time partying etc.

there’s a lot to think about.
Are you American? You probably won’t be interested in him by the time you’re 18.
Reply 7
Original post by baby.bear
it’s a little odd that a 21 year old would have interest in a 16 year old. once you’re 18 there would be no problem if you chose to pursue it.

please keep in mind that you’ll be in different stages of life and maturity though. he may want to settle down quicker as he’s older, but you may want to spend time partying etc.

there’s a lot to think about.

my mom wants us to date in 2 years. she swears he´s ¨waiting for me¨, and i would be more than happy to build a relationship in a couple of years, i mean i´ve liked this boy since i was 6! the problem is that him and my brother are best best friends (basically brothers) since 12 years ago, so i know the chances of us ever being together are low:/ but yes i agree
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Well it depends, if you were to go out and your parents would be okay with it then that's fine. If they are not, and you're sneaking around with a 21 year old and avoiding your parents, he's a pedophile

... lack of parental approval does not make this a paedophile situation, what on earth?? OP'll be 18 and he's 23!
Original post by Anonymous
my mom wants us to date in 2 years. she swears he´s ¨waiting for me¨, and i would be more than happy to build a relationship in a couple of years, i mean i´ve liked this boy since i was 6! the problem is that him and my brother are best best friends (basically brothers) since 12 years ago, so i know the chances of us ever being together are low:/ but yes i agree


No offence, but that’s kind of creepy
Original post by YaliaV123
No offence, but that’s kind of creepy

what´s creepy ??
Original post by Anonymous
im 16 and the guy i like is 21 (he´s a really close family friend, i see him everyday). when i turn 18, he will be 23. It will be legal for us to date and stuff of that sort. My question is, is that too old? he´s quiet immature for his age

I would see this as an issue as you're 16. If you was 20 and he was 25 then I wouldn't see a problem. I find it odd that he even likes a 16 year old and not someone his own age? you've practically just left school.
Original post by sarah.911
I would see this as an issue as you're 16. If you was 20 and he was 25 then I wouldn't see a problem. I find it odd that he even likes a 16 year old and not someone his own age? you've practically just left school.

no no he doesn´t like me! I like him! sorry about the mixup i should have worded it better
Original post by Anonymous
Well it depends, if you were to go out and your parents would be okay with it then that's fine. If they are not, and you're sneaking around with a 21 year old and avoiding your parents, he's a pedophile

He's literally not a paedophile but okay

OP, the fact that your mum is wating for you to turn 18 so that the pair of you can date is a bit weird tbh. I understand it's probably because he's been close to the family for years so your mum knows he's not an absolute creep but the idea of an older guy (usually it's the male) waiting to date a younger girl is just odd.

Also if you've known him your entire life, he most likely sees you as a younger sister.
5 years isn’t a bad age gap but you two are at different points in your lives so it’s kinda weird
Original post by bones-mccoy
He's literally not a paedophile but okay

OP, the fact that your mum is wating for you to turn 18 so that the pair of you can date is a bit weird tbh. I understand it's probably because he's been close to the family for years so your mum knows he's not an absolute creep but the idea of an older guy (usually it's the male) waiting to date a younger girl is just odd.

Also if you've known him your entire life, he most likely sees you as a younger sister.

so there´s no chance of us dating? :/
Original post by Anonymous
my mom wants us to date in 2 years. she swears he´s ¨waiting for me¨, and i would be more than happy to build a relationship in a couple of years, i mean i´ve liked this boy since i was 6! the problem is that him and my brother are best best friends (basically brothers) since 12 years ago, so i know the chances of us ever being together are low:/ but yes i agree


ah that’s cute!! does he like you back??
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
so there´s no chance of us dating? :/

If he wants to date you when you're 18, then maybe you can. I'm finding it steadily weirder how little you and your mum seem to be considering his feelings in this.
Original post by Anonymous
no no he doesn´t like me! I like him! sorry about the mixup i should have worded it better

Just focus on getting to know people your own age, then when you're older and your paths cross again things might be different.
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Original post by baby.bear
ah that’s cute!! does he like you back??

i don´t think so. well, atleast that i can see. He used to not talk to me but this year hes become really comfortable with me and he comes over a lot more. At first i thought he came over to see my brother(s) but he would just come over and hangout with me and we watched movies on the couch. I thought ¨maybe he sees me as a sister¨ but i just have a gut feeling that he has some sort of attrction towards me>.< TYY for responding!!

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