Being told that I’m not funny

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Anonymous #1
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I love making people laugh and usually manage to do so quite well. I have one friend who is very blunt and straightforward, which I think is fine, but some of the things that she says genuinely hurts my feelings. In particular, after I tell a joke she’ll literally laugh and then say “I don’t know why I’m laughing, you’re not even funny.” She doesn’t say it in a really malicious way, her style of speech is just very deadpan, so she’ll look me in the eye with no expression and just say these things. A couple of times, I’ll say something, she’ll laugh, I’ll laugh along and then she’ll look up from her phone at me and be like “I wasn’t laughing at you,” which makes me feel so humiliated.

I get that her sense of humour is just very dry and she’s not intentionally being mean but it is quite hurtful. It’s honestly very embarrassing as well, when I say something which she laughs at only to have her tell me straight up that I’m not funny.

Is there any way that I can kind of hint that this hurts my feelings?
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Moonlight rain
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Can’t relate. But I’m sorry you’re feeling like that, just tell her.
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Anonymous #2
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It sounds like it’s a defence mechanism on her part. Try not to dwell on it, she’s probably not thinking about it. I’ve got quite a blunt personality but I still know when too quit, either tell her or do it back to her see how she likes it lol
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psykoberry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I love making people laugh and usually manage to do so quite well. I have one friend who is very blunt and straightforward, which I think is fine, but some of the things that she says genuinely hurts my feelings. In particular, after I tell a joke she’ll literally laugh and then say “I don’t know why I’m laughing, you’re not even funny.” She doesn’t say it in a really malicious way, her style of speech is just very deadpan, so she’ll look me in the eye with no expression and just say these things. A couple of times, I’ll say something, she’ll laugh, I’ll laugh along and then she’ll look up from her phone at me and be like “I wasn’t laughing at you,” which makes me feel so humiliated.

I get that her sense of humour is just very dry and she’s not intentionally being mean but it is quite hurtful. It’s honestly very embarrassing as well, when I say something which she laughs at only to have her tell me straight up that I’m not funny.

Is there any way that I can kind of hint that this hurts my feelings?
I've had a similar (and quite unsuccessful) friendship a few years ago. Whenever I tried to tell her bluntly that her jokes were kind of hurtful, it felt like I only made the relationship worse. But that doesn't mean you just bear it, though. I suppose you would handle it depending on how they are as a person, and I'm sure that if she's your good friend, she'll understand
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It sounds like it’s a defence mechanism on her part. Try not to dwell on it, she’s probably not thinking about it. I’ve got quite a blunt personality but I still know when too quit, either tell her or do it back to her see how she likes it lol
I guess it could be, not really sure a defence mechanism for what though as my jokes are almost never hurtful or offensive. I would love to do it back to her lol! But we are both super sensitive and I just can’t bring myself to tell her straight up that she’s not funny because I know that it would really hurt her feelings
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by psykoberry)
I've had a similar (and quite unsuccessful) friendship a few years ago. Whenever I tried to tell her bluntly that her jokes were kind of hurtful, it felt like I only made the relationship worse. But that doesn't mean you just bear it, though. I suppose you would handle it depending on how they are as a person, and I'm sure that if she's your good friend, she'll understand
Yeah I don’t think that I’ll tell her straight up but I might just make myself look really dejected when she tells me that I’m not funny LOL. I feel like that would make me look really pathetic though, usually when she says these things to me I just laugh it off or say “wow thanks” sarcastically
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Anonymous #3
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Just tell her that her hard girl act doesn't mean she has to hurt people's feelings. If she doesn't find it funny, tell her to piss off.
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seerah10
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oh i thought, based on the title, that she'd not laugh at the joke and say you aren't funny.

everyone says that line usually. 'bro that was such a dead joke idk why i laughed'. not a big deal
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beth448
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I guess it could be, not really sure a defence mechanism for what though as my jokes are almost never hurtful or offensive. I would love to do it back to her lol! But we are both super sensitive and I just can’t bring myself to tell her straight up that she’s not funny because I know that it would really hurt her feelings
Maybe she is self conscious that your funnier than her lol!
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tinygirl96
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I totally get it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just tell her that her hard girl act doesn't mean she has to hurt people's feelings. If she doesn't find it funny, tell her to piss off.
Sometimes I wish I could lol, but she’s generally a nice person. Difficult thing is that we’re also flatmates, so I’d rather not be on her bad side.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by seerah10)
oh i thought, based on the title, that she'd not laugh at the joke and say you aren't funny.

everyone says that line usually. 'bro that was such a dead joke idk why i laughed'. not a big deal
I don’t think I’d be nearly as offended if she put it like that, but saying something and thinking that you made someone happy only to have them look you dead in the eye and be like “you’re not even funny” is a lot more hurtful
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momo419
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I love making people laugh and usually manage to do so quite well. I have one friend who is very blunt and straightforward, which I think is fine, but some of the things that she says genuinely hurts my feelings. In particular, after I tell a joke she’ll literally laugh and then say “I don’t know why I’m laughing, you’re not even funny.” She doesn’t say it in a really malicious way, her style of speech is just very deadpan, so she’ll look me in the eye with no expression and just say these things. A couple of times, I’ll say something, she’ll laugh, I’ll laugh along and then she’ll look up from her phone at me and be like “I wasn’t laughing at you,” which makes me feel so humiliated.

I get that her sense of humour is just very dry and she’s not intentionally being mean but it is quite hurtful. It’s honestly very embarrassing as well, when I say something which she laughs at only to have her tell me straight up that I’m not funny.

Is there any way that I can kind of hint that this hurts my feelings?
I have a farfetched idea: just BE funny, is it so hard bruh
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Anonymous #4
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stupid females are worth nothing, best to only be close to males
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Dunnig Kruger
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“I don’t know why I’m laughing, you’re not even funny.”
You could respond with something like "I know I'm not funny. You were laughing because that guy over there is a Jedi and he used his mind control to make you laugh." then do the Alec Guiness Jedi wave of your hand and say "this is not the joke you are looking for."

A couple of times, I’ll say something, she’ll laugh, I’ll laugh along and then she’ll look up from her phone at me and be like “I wasn’t laughing at you,”
You could respond with "And I was laughing because I just noticed your flies are undone." If she looks down "Gotcha!"
Or "And I was laughing because I just saw a huge spider land on your shoulder."

Or come out with some other wacky, off the wall comment that comes into your head, the next time she's rude and trying to be the Alpha Female.
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Bang Outta Order
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These types of people merely need a long overdue wake up call and a telling off that they must have missed over the years.


Look her in her eyes and call her a ***** and say it with your chest and watch the car wreck screech and pile up in her miserable little socially challenged eyes. She'll go home in a daze like....

https://data.whicdn.com/images/300459561/original.gif
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sometimes I wish I could lol, but she’s generally a nice person. Difficult thing is that we’re also flatmates, so I’d rather not be on her bad side.
Why not test it, you never know until you try! I would.
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