Need opinions on a boy i'm talking too

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I met him at uni but I ended up dropping out, we were talking and he said about being in a relationship, but it didn't end up happening for a few reasons this would be too long to explain so i won't mention it for now and i also dropped out. He got into a relationship later on for about 5-6 months. `He ended up getting back in contact with me basically saying that we wanted to date me back when i was at uni and wished I never left. He said about meeting when I came back to uni, going for a drink and for food too. I get to uni and the first thing he does with me Is HU, he spent the rest of the next day with me so it didn't feel completely cold. I ended up seeing him once more before I left and he said to text him everyday, FaceTime, visit him at uni etc. When I got home he was super responsive texting everyday for about a week. He asked about meeting each other outside of uni 3x and I agreed like sure and it's been over 2 months we haven't seen each other and I doubt we will now. He said about FaceTiming me the next day once and I was like yeah sure and then he just left me on delivered and it never happened. He said about planning nice things to do next year if i come back.

His texting went from once a day to every other day and now it's become a week. Naturally I just start monitoring his insta just to figure out what's going on give myself a heads up. His following has gone up by 40 - all girls - he has done the classic thing of liking most /first 3 photo's for ALL of them - they are defo from tinder. I've clocked that he's probably on a HU spree, he did say he wasn't quite ready to commit to me (he was 3 months out of a relationship and she cheated).

I just don't know how to feel, I want more than this, being left on delivered for a week even as a friend hurts me and makes me feel low. He keeps telling me he misses me and wants to see me which does keep me hooked.

I don't complain about his lack of texting, but he'll drop me "sry i haven't been talking much, i've just been busy with uni work. I want to get back to texting u everyday." if he doesn't want to text me just shut up and stop making excuses

Is he just manipulating me? alluding there is more but he just wants to have his cake and eat it. Treat me like an option. Or is he clearly not interested at all and I should just give up.

Or do you think he's genuine but perhaps because the situations difficult with lockdown and me dropping out + he just got out a relationship which ended sour it just isn't right for him rn, so he's turn his back on me.
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abi_nicholls
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I met him at uni but I ended up dropping out, we were talking and he said about being in a relationship, but it didn't end up happening for a few reasons this would be too long to explain so i won't mention it for now and i also dropped out. He got into a relationship later on for about 5-6 months. `He ended up getting back in contact with me basically saying that we wanted to date me back when i was at uni and wished I never left. He said about meeting when I came back to uni, going for a drink and for food too. I get to uni and the first thing he does with me Is HU, he spent the rest of the next day with me so it didn't feel completely cold. I ended up seeing him once more before I left and he said to text him everyday, FaceTime, visit him at uni etc. When I got home he was super responsive texting everyday for about a week. He asked about meeting each other outside of uni 3x and I agreed like sure and it's been over 2 months we haven't seen each other and I doubt we will now. He said about FaceTiming me the next day once and I was like yeah sure and then he just left me on delivered and it never happened. He said about planning nice things to do next year if i come back.

His texting went from once a day to every other day and now it's become a week. Naturally I just start monitoring his insta just to figure out what's going on give myself a heads up. His following has gone up by 40 - all girls - he has done the classic thing of liking most /first 3 photo's for ALL of them - they are defo from tinder. I've clocked that he's probably on a HU spree, he did say he wasn't quite ready to commit to me (he was 3 months out of a relationship and she cheated).

I just don't know how to feel, I want more than this, being left on delivered for a week even as a friend hurts me and makes me feel low. He keeps telling me he misses me and wants to see me which does keep me hooked.

I don't complain about his lack of texting, but he'll drop me "sry i haven't been talking much, i've just been busy with uni work. I want to get back to texting u everyday." if he doesn't want to text me just shut up and stop making excuses

Is he just manipulating me? alluding there is more but he just wants to have his cake and eat it. Treat me like an option. Or is he clearly not interested at all and I should just give up.

Or do you think he's genuine but perhaps because the situations difficult with lockdown and me dropping out + he just got out a relationship which ended sour it just isn't right for him rn, so he's turn his back on me.
He isn't interested, seems like when he says he misses you and wants to meet up it's just as friends and nothing more. If he had romantic feelings for you he would find the time to message you frequently.
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Adezo
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#3
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I would say save your self from unnecessary pain and detach now. The reason why I am saying this is because you might become too obsessed. Play it cool and if he is really interested he will come back
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Adezo)
I would say save your self from unnecessary pain and detach now. The reason why I am saying this is because you might become too obsessed. Play it cool and if he is really interested he will come back
How do I detach?
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Anonymous #1
#5
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(Original post by abi_nicholls)
He isn't interested, seems like when he says he misses you and wants to meet up it's just as friends and nothing more. If he had romantic feelings for you he would find the time to message you frequently.
Yeah, that's true. I just say I think he's being a bit manipulative because he basically said he wanted to take me on date and when we meet up maybe make it an overnight thing - which suggests to me it's not just meeting as 'friends', when we're together, how he is with me breaches friendship. I just really hate the way I am at the moment, I'm really low/depressed I have no job and nothing to occupy myself with since I dropped out of uni and I just can't stop thinking about him, he's never not on my mind. It's clear he doesn't care for me as much and it makes me feel so bad and I largely feel so bad because he'll suggest that he wants to make effort and there is more than a friendship (i mean we began on romantic terms) but obviously doesn't behave like it. I want to get over it and not care, I don't know how to stop. I honestly feel desperate, I am fcking lonely, i have no friends back at home. I thought abut removing him from social media, but I just think it's useless and petty - I'll still worry and think about it anyway. I feel so bad/low when he doesn't talk to me, it just feels so bad and I feel so stupid. He just spilled his heart out to me one night and said about being together and taking me home and BOOM I'm attached to him and then he started acting like a massive flake and it hurt me so much which made me more attached because I felt like I needed him to make me feel better. And then I see him again and he takes my v card and now he's flaking again. I low key hate him and wish I never met him.
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londonmyst
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I don't think that this guy is into monogomy or looking for a committed relationship with anyone.
He sounds like a player.
Best to move on and chat with more compatible single guys.
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999tigger
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(Original post by londonmyst)
I don't think that this guy is into monogomy or looking for a committed relationship with anyone.
He sounds like a player.
Best to move on and chat with more compatible single guys.
What is HU?
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londonmyst
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#8
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(Original post by 999tigger)
What is HU?
Hookup.
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999tigger
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
I met him at uni but I ended up dropping out, we were talking and he said about being in a relationship, but it didn't end up happening for a few reasons this would be too long to explain so i won't mention it for now and i also dropped out. He got into a relationship later on for about 5-6 months. `He ended up getting back in contact with me basically saying that we wanted to date me back when i was at uni and wished I never left. He said about meeting when I came back to uni, going for a drink and for food too. I get to uni and the first thing he does with me Is HU, he spent the rest of the next day with me so it didn't feel completely cold. I ended up seeing him once more before I left and he said to text him everyday, FaceTime, visit him at uni etc. When I got home he was super responsive texting everyday for about a week. He asked about meeting each other outside of uni 3x and I agreed like sure and it's been over 2 months we haven't seen each other and I doubt we will now. He said about FaceTiming me the next day once and I was like yeah sure and then he just left me on delivered and it never happened. He said about planning nice things to do next year if i come back.

His texting went from once a day to every other day and now it's become a week. Naturally I just start monitoring his insta just to figure out what's going on give myself a heads up. His following has gone up by 40 - all girls - he has done the classic thing of liking most /first 3 photo's for ALL of them - they are defo from tinder. I've clocked that he's probably on a HU spree, he did say he wasn't quite ready to commit to me (he was 3 months out of a relationship and she cheated).

I just don't know how to feel, I want more than this, being left on delivered for a week even as a friend hurts me and makes me feel low. He keeps telling me he misses me and wants to see me which does keep me hooked.

I don't complain about his lack of texting, but he'll drop me "sry i haven't been talking much, i've just been busy with uni work. I want to get back to texting u everyday." if he doesn't want to text me just shut up and stop making excuses

Is he just manipulating me? alluding there is more but he just wants to have his cake and eat it. Treat me like an option. Or is he clearly not interested at all and I should just give up.

Or do you think he's genuine but perhaps because the situations difficult with lockdown and me dropping out + he just got out a relationship which ended sour it just isn't right for him rn, so he's turn his back on me.
I just read it and not reading again so my impression is you are like the quirrle waiting patiently at the feeder for the last few nits to fall, but fail to realise theres another feeder round the back which is plenty bisy and being refilled on a regular basis.


He speaks a lot, but he doesnt deliver= move on and find someone else, stop being a chump. If he was interested he would make the effort. he isnt even worth stalking. Its difficult anyway as hes at uni and you are not. Perhaps amongs the billions of men out there you cna do better than him? Stop wasting your life for someone who isnt worth it= really really dull.

Now I know what HU is from Myst. He isnt interested but thinks enough of himself that if his current leads go cold he can always get back to you on reserve and you are gullible enough to listen. This is why people get cats.
Last edited by 999tigger; 1 month ago
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abi_nicholls
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, that's true. I just say I think he's being a bit manipulative because he basically said he wanted to take me on date and when we meet up maybe make it an overnight thing - which suggests to me it's not just meeting as 'friends', when we're together, how he is with me breaches friendship. I just really hate the way I am at the moment, I'm really low/depressed I have no job and nothing to occupy myself with since I dropped out of uni and I just can't stop thinking about him, he's never not on my mind. It's clear he doesn't care for me as much and it makes me feel so bad and I largely feel so bad because he'll suggest that he wants to make effort and there is more than a friendship (i mean we began on romantic terms) but obviously doesn't behave like it. I want to get over it and not care, I don't know how to stop. I honestly feel desperate, I am fcking lonely, i have no friends back at home. I thought abut removing him from social media, but I just think it's useless and petty - I'll still worry and think about it anyway. I feel so bad/low when he doesn't talk to me, it just feels so bad and I feel so stupid. He just spilled his heart out to me one night and said about being together and taking me home and BOOM I'm attached to him and then he started acting like a massive flake and it hurt me so much which made me more attached because I felt like I needed him to make me feel better. And then I see him again and he takes my v card and now he's flaking again. I low key hate him and wish I never met him.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time, it's horrible to like someone who doesn't like you back. Removing him from social media isn't petty, you're looking after yourself by doing it, I have removed a few people so that I'm not constantly reminded of them. You need to find ways to distract yourself, maybe pick up a new hobby or get a job? I assure you, you will find someone who will treat you right when you least expect it. If you're actively looking it might make you feel even sadder, I met my partner at a birthday party
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OceanCat
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#11
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Tl;dr

If you need opinions on someone, most likely something isn't sitting right with you. It could be a gut instinct, and as soon as you have something to back that up, I'd follow it. Or if you trust your gut, go with it.
You shouldn't really need anothers opinion, usually always means time to rethink, understand yourself.
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Anonymous #1
#12
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(Original post by londonmyst)
I don't think that this guy is into monogomy or looking for a committed relationship with anyone.
He sounds like a player.
Best to move on and chat with more compatible single guys.
He's known for getting with A LOT of girls at my uni
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Adezo
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How do I detach?
You have to work from within. Stop placing that person in a “pedestal”. You have to tell yourself that you deserve good things in this life. You have to understand and live by it. If he cares about you, he will come about but sometimes you might have done a good job at detaching from him and not even be interested anymore.
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