The Student Room Group

Pregnant but now changed my mind

So I’m 6 weeks pregnant and I made the mistake of telling everyone family wise but now I’m having second thoughts I’m about to be homeless and I have seriously bad anxiety so I’m thinking of getting an abortion am I a seriously bad person ?
I’ve also developed HG and have been vomiting every single day Snd I can’t coupe anymore

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Original post by Anonymous
So I’m 6 weeks pregnant and I made the mistake of telling everyone family wise but now I’m having second thoughts I’m about to be homeless and I have seriously bad anxiety so I’m thinking of getting an abortion am I a seriously bad person ?
I’ve also developed HG and have been vomiting every single day Snd I can’t coupe anymore

Hi, firstly I'd like to say that if you decide to get an abortion that it is your personal choice and you are NOT a bad person. I advise not getting an abortion with the only reason being pressure due to family, it is an emotional process and the decision cannot be undone. Do you mind me asking how old you are just so I can understand how reliant you are on your family?
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, firstly I'd like to say that if you decide to get an abortion that it is your personal choice and you are NOT a bad person. I advise not getting an abortion with the only reason being pressure due to family, it is an emotional process and the decision cannot be undone. Do you mind me asking how old you are just so I can understand how reliant you are on your family?


I’m 20
So reason for abortion is due to financial issues, fear of becoming homeless, demand of support..
I understand how you are feeling, this may not be a very pro-life decision (many may view this as ethically wrong, and that it’s killing a human)

however, on the basis of the scenario, if you feel comfortable undergoing this, make sure you make your decision carefully. You can change your mind at any time, don’t feel pressured or anything. Take a considerable amount of time to think about this
Original post by Anonymous
So I’m 6 weeks pregnant and I made the mistake of telling everyone family wise but now I’m having second thoughts I’m about to be homeless and I have seriously bad anxiety so I’m thinking of getting an abortion am I a seriously bad person ?
I’ve also developed HG and have been vomiting every single day Snd I can’t coupe anymore

Where is he when you need him?...
IF anyone says to you abortions is unethical and all that **** they say;

IGNORE. Your body, your choice. Because, the people being all don't get an abortion and calling you things are the people SAYING if you can't take care of a child do not have it. So, DO WHAT YOU WANT.
Nobody is here to judge, and you need to put yourself first now, because when that baby is born the next 18 years that baby will come first! x

However, please think it through because you may regret it and things like this you need to think about properly!
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
So I’m 6 weeks pregnant and I made the mistake of telling everyone family wise but now I’m having second thoughts I’m about to be homeless and I have seriously bad anxiety so I’m thinking of getting an abortion am I a seriously bad person ?
I’ve also developed HG and have been vomiting every single day Snd I can’t coupe anymore

Bad morning sickness is incredibly hard to cope with and it definitely can be enough on its own to make you question going on. Please know you are very far from being the only person experiencing this.
Clearly you need and are going to need support - it's concerning that you have family but are worried about homelessness. Can you find ways to build better support?
You'll get strong responses to the prospect of abortion, but you need to think about what you (and a potential child) needs to succeed. No you are not a bad person for thinking about it as an option.
Original post by Anonymous
So I’m 6 weeks pregnant and I made the mistake of telling everyone family wise but now I’m having second thoughts I’m about to be homeless and I have seriously bad anxiety so I’m thinking of getting an abortion am I a seriously bad person ?
I’ve also developed HG and have been vomiting every single day Snd I can’t coupe anymore


Get an abortion. You aren't a bad person for doing this , you're just making a choice and being in control of your own body. In the long run it'll be better for everyone. You can't provide for a child rn and the child wouldn't have a good quality of life and neither would you. Get an abortion and you can always have a child later if you want to
Reply 8
Original post by 2500_2
Bad morning sickness is incredibly hard to cope with and it definitely can be enough on its own to make you question going on. Please know you are very far from being the only person experiencing this.
Clearly you need and are going to need support - it's concerning that you have family but are worried about homelessness. Can you find ways to build better support?
You'll get strong responses to the prospect of abortion, but you need to think about what you (and a potential child) needs to succeed. No you are not a bad person for thinking about it as an option.


Yes the morning sickness is unbearable im in hospital weekly for IV fluids as I’m dehydrated from HG

In regards to my family yes they might be excited for me but they don’t care about me in the sense of I’m on my own in this battle I have to deal with it myself I have no support system or friends

I just don’t know where to turn to for advice I called BPAS and they said they can’t fund me and I’ll need to be refereed but by who? I’m not ringing my doctors as I know someone from my school who works reception and she’ll tell everyone as I have to tell them the issue why I need to speak to a doctor
I’m really fed up and at a lose end
Reply 9
Original post by deadroseex
IF anyone says to you abortions is unethical and all that **** they say;

IGNORE. Your body, your choice. Because, the people being all don't get an abortion and calling you things are the people SAYING if you can't take care of a child do not have it. So, DO WHAT YOU WANT.
Nobody is here to judge, and you need to put yourself first now, because when that baby is born the next 18 years that baby will come first! x

However, please think it through because you may regret it and things like this you need to think about properly!


I think it’s 100% the right thing to do I’ve been feeling this way since I found out I was pregnant but everyone was like omg it’s amazing it’s such a blessing and made me think I’m horrible for thinking of it but these past few days I’ve realised I’m not even doing this for myself
He’s a drug dealer and he just got out of prison which I didn’t know I only knew him for a few months I don’t want anything to do wot him
Original post by Anonymous
I’m not ringing my doctors as I know someone from my school who works reception and she’ll tell everyone as I have to tell them the issue why I need to speak to a doctor
I’m really fed up and at a lose end

If a receptionist passes on confidential information then they face getting sacked for serious misconduct. You do not have to tell the receptionist your reason for the call - just say that it is personal.
Have you got housing advice from a charity or spoken with your local authority?
If you are a UK citizen you are entitled to free emergency assistance with new accomodation and will be viewed as high priority by your local authority while you are pregnant.
https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/homelessness/your_situation/homeless_help_your_situation_-_pregnant_women
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
Yes the morning sickness is unbearable im in hospital weekly for IV fluids as I’m dehydrated from HG

In regards to my family yes they might be excited for me but they don’t care about me in the sense of I’m on my own in this battle I have to deal with it myself I have no support system or friends

I just don’t know where to turn to for advice I called BPAS and they said they can’t fund me and I’ll need to be refereed but by who? I’m not ringing my doctors as I know someone from my school who works reception and she’ll tell everyone as I have to tell them the issue why I need to speak to a doctor
I’m really fed up and at a lose end


This can't possibly all be true - to be only 6 weeks pregnant (ie to have found out only in the last couple of weeks), but needing to be weekly in hospital for HG is certainly tragically possible. But in those circumstances, you would have spoken many times to your GP and raising the option of therapeutic abortion would not be difficult.
Original post by 2500_2
This can't possibly all be true - to be only 6 weeks pregnant (ie to have found out only in the last couple of weeks), but needing to be weekly in hospital for HG is certainly tragically possible. But in those circumstances, you would have spoken many times to your GP and raising the option of therapeutic abortion would not be difficult.


How isn’t it true everything I’m saying is true I’m 6 weeks , I have hG and weekly in hospital tel me what’s not true
Original post by Anonymous
How isn’t it true everything I’m saying is true I’m 6 weeks , I have hG and weekly in hospital tel me what’s not true


The part about calling my gp that is hard is that I know someone who works reception who I have to talk to and explain why I need to talk to a doctor and they are rude if u say I don’t want to say they go Wel I need to know roughly otherwise I can’t refer u to the right doctor that’s why it’s hard to talk to the gp I rarely go only Whne needed
Original post by Anonymous
The part about calling my gp that is hard is that I know someone who works reception who I have to talk to and explain why I need to talk to a doctor and they are rude if u say I don’t want to say they go Wel I need to know roughly otherwise I can’t refer u to the right doctor that’s why it’s hard to talk to the gp I rarely go only Whne needed

you should be able to present to the abortion clinic directly - they removed the need for referral as it delayed the process too much. you should be able to find their information online. go straight through them, not your GP
Original post by Anonymous
The part about calling my gp that is hard is that I know someone who works reception who I have to talk to and explain why I need to talk to a doctor and they are rude if u say I don’t want to say they go Wel I need to know roughly otherwise I can’t refer u to the right doctor that’s why it’s hard to talk to the gp I rarely go only Whne needed

Tell the receptionist to mind their own business - they are GPs so the concept of 'right doctor' is not relevant as any one will do. If you need a specialist then you will be referred. You might choose to speak to a female doctor but should not have to give more personal info than that. If they persist in being excessively nosy, or indiscreet, then I would either move GP or report them. Their inappropriate behaviour should not be responsible for you not getting access to a health professional
Reply 18
Original post by Anonymous
How isn’t it true everything I’m saying is true I’m 6 weeks , I have hG and weekly in hospital tel me what’s not true

How can you have been referred to the hospital with severe morning sickness in the last two weeks between finding out you were pregnant and now without talking to your GP?
Original post by Anonymous
So I’m 6 weeks pregnant and I made the mistake of telling everyone family wise but now I’m having second thoughts I’m about to be homeless and I have seriously bad anxiety so I’m thinking of getting an abortion am I a seriously bad person ?
I’ve also developed HG and have been vomiting every single day Snd I can’t coupe anymore


Please do not terminate the child. Please contact government services if you are having issues with housing. I know you are going through a very hard time, but hopefully it will get better.

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