Anonymous #1
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I recently found out about two years ago my Dad was an addict (well, I knew for years before but it was never confirmed) and has been for the whole of my life and more - I am 17, he is 50. He is not with my Mum, hasnt been for 8 years, lives on his own. He really isnt the best person but he is my Dad after all and I cant help but constantly think what if one day I wake up and hes not here. The thought consumes and worries me constantly. I also dont see him much, I havent seen him in about 7 months. I used to see him three times a week, then stopped when I found out, then havent because of Coronavirus. I dont know why I am posting this on here, maybe for advice on how to deal with these thoughts?
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Gillzy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I recently found out about two years ago my Dad was an addict (well, I knew for years before but it was never confirmed) and has been for the whole of my life and more - I am 17, he is 50. He is not with my Mum, hasnt been for 8 years, lives on his own. He really isnt the best person but he is my Dad after all and I cant help but constantly think what if one day I wake up and hes not here. The thought consumes and worries me constantly. I also dont see him much, I havent seen him in about 7 months. I used to see him three times a week, then stopped when I found out, then havent because of Coronavirus. I dont know why I am posting this on here, maybe for advice on how to deal with these thoughts?
I'm not going to lie, It's not an easy decision you have to make here. You love him that's clear but you've got to think to yourself that if he truly loved you, then he would have beaten this addiction a long time ago.

I know you love him and its hard but you need to make it clear to him that its you or the drugs.

I know what it's like having parents who have their vices, but I love mine regardless and I know you love yours too so I know how hard it is to see someone sink into oblivion and I'm sure you dont want to lose him.

I dont know but maybe its time to put all the cards on the table so-to-speak and tell him to let it go and that he needs help.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Gillzy)
I'm not going to lie, It's not an easy decision you have to make here. You love him that's clear but you've got to think to yourself that if he truly loved you, then he would have beaten this addiction a long time ago.

I know you love him and its hard but you need to make it clear to him that its you or the drugs.

I know what it's like having parents who have their vices, but I love mine regardless and I know you love yours too so I know how hard it is to see someone sink into oblivion and I'm sure you dont want to lose him.

I dont know but maybe its time to put all the cards on the table so-to-speak and tell him to let it go and that he needs help.
I have, many a times. He says he has stopped but I don’t believe him, especially when addicted for that many years you cant just stop at the click of a button. Also it took him a few weeks of lying to admit so he has a history of lying.
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Gillzy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have, many a times. He says he has stopped but I don’t believe him, especially when addicted for that many years you cant just stop at the click of a button. Also it took him a few weeks of lying to admit so he has a history of lying.
Don't mean to sound nasty but surely if he's this much of a liar and has done this before you would see the light and not look back, regardless of who he is to you?
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Caitliiiin_
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have, many a times. He says he has stopped but I don’t believe him, especially when addicted for that many years you cant just stop at the click of a button. Also it took him a few weeks of lying to admit so he has a history of lying.
i’ve experienced a really similar situation to yours and addicts lie a lot. sometimes it takes one event for them to turn their life around and other times it’s a gradual process, and even when they do begin to change it’s not always smooth sailing. I know it’s rlly ****. you could keep trying to push him in the right direction, but ultimately he needs to want change himself. wishing you the absolute best, pls don’t ever hesitate to ask those around you for help
Last edited by Caitliiiin_; 1 month ago
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YaliaV123
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Is he still using? Did he abuse or neglect you or your mum?
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Anonymous #1
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He says he isnt but he will be. He never physically hurt her but a lot of emotional abuse and he hasnt been bad at all with me except broken promises etc.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Gillzy)
Don't mean to sound nasty but surely if he's this much of a liar and has done this before you would see the light and not look back, regardless of who he is to you?
That’s extremely hard. Regardless, he is my parent and I would never want to cut him off - if something did happen to him I would hate myself.
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londonmyst
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You can still try to stay in contact with your father and offer him a social outlet whenever he wants to text or chat.
But be very cautious about relying on your father, lending him money and trusting him not to be high or carrying drugs when you speak/meetup.

My friend is a recreational user at weekends & on friday nights and seems to fit the description of a functioning addict on one to two other week nights.
His enthusiasm for illegal narcotics, booze and partying with the drug crowd has ruined his finances, employment history and resulted in overdoses when babysitting friends children.
He is never aggressive or nasty.
But gets his drugs delivered by terrified looking primary school aged children and rarely answers honestly when asked if he is carrying anything he wouldn't want police sniffer dogs to find.
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