Journey to my own idendity

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Making this 'blog' for myself. Probably better off not reading.

Anon because I can't be myself if I have a username attached to it, I feel like I have to hide things and lie, or make up stuff that isn't true to make others like me. Can call it attention seeking. But I don't enjoy it in the longterm.

I'll just be writting random thought, feelings etc.... to help me find myself.

There is only one rule which I must abide by: Do not lie. Think twice before posting - is this actually true? Are you making this up in your head?
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summerberry19
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
I’m so glad you’re doing this!
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
I feel absolutely rubbish right now. How can I tell my uni friends such a big lie? I'm having to lie again to hide one lie, and then more lies to hide all the previous etc.... It's a vicious cycle that I can't break.

The thing is, eventhough I feel this way, I still lied this morning, to make the situation seem worse when I actually had the option to break that vicious cycle :sad: why you do this all the time.

Next time you get the chance, break it. Just do it. It won't make you smaller.
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Anonymous #1
#4
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#4
(Original post by summerberry19)
I’m so glad you’re doing this!
Thanks. Just to you know this won't be very nice to read. I'm one of those really weird people.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
This just going to be a massive "Dear me" thread :rolleyes:
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
I need to shower....otherwise I can't.
I regret last night. But it felt good. I regret saying this also. Or should I say feel ashamed. Yes that's a better word.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
But the time has finished...
My family might be suspicious if I do it now.
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Anonymous #1
#8
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#8
I love the fact that even if my family finds out about my TSR, they'll never be able to trace back to this thread. I feel sort of relieved.
Not just family, other people as well.
This is so freeing. No judgment. Although I sitll feel a bit hesitant to type in full details, because what if someone finds out this is me? It will so embarassing, I'd dig myself into a hole and disappear :hide:
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
I wonder what happened to yours, I can't access it.
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ROTL94
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#10
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#10
A novel idea, I hope you find it beneficial.
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
Feeling a bit empty, but frustrated at the same time because I'm not getting attention. Argh. This is usually when I start to make lies. or become really impulsive. Or throw stuff around. Or SHc myself.
I'm gonna call it SHc - my secret habit. Behaviour. Whatever it is called.

I won't. I'll stop myself. Need to get busy.

Go eat, do work, listen to something. Forget the world exists. You need anyone to make you feel good, better, appreciated, loved or whatever. You are enough. More than Enough. You can through this!
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Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#12
Euh made a one word, small lie in the previous post. A lie that I have repeated so many times that it felt like reality to me.
Won't next time.
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Anonymous #1
#13
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#13
And this is why my life, myself, my identity is just a big lie. Not just to the world, to me as well.
Have you ever lied so much that it became a reality in your head? I have. And that's what i'm trying to get out of.
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
(Original post by ROTL94)
A novel idea, I hope you find it beneficial.
Thanks :yy:
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summerberry19
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks. Just to you know this won't be very nice to read. I'm one of those really weird people.
Totally fine.
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Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#16
There's still hope. 3rd time lucky.
First time, chance.
Second time chance again.
3rd time, which is tomorrow, if its the same then I have that and I will accept and make changes in my life.
I can do this.
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
That doesn't mean it's not making me feel down :sad:
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Anonymous #1
#18
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#18
I haven't done any work. I feel so not stressed, why? I NEED TO DO THIS WORK ORELSE I FAIL.
But no, my adrenals are too tired to release cortisol. Great, I'll just eat and chill and maybe do work later.
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Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#19
Okay done. Eating Yogurt as a treat (for doing nothing) but I'm gonna get comfy and get to work. Hopefully not so comfy as to fall asleep.
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Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#20
Argh. I'm having one of these episodes of wanting attention and being frustrated that no one is replying.

Breathe, calm down. Get busy. Phone off.
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