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Girlfriend had rape flashback nightmare and has stopped being intimate?
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First few weeks of our relationship we had no problem with intimacy. However, one night she had a flashback in a nightmare and we haven't been intimate since. Not even passionate kissing...everything else with the relationship is amazing and I'm very happy and she says the same, but she admits it's set her back and the wall has gone up again with regards to intimacy after that.
I just don't know how to go about the whole intimacy topic now or how to move forward, at this moment in time it feels like we won't ever be intimate again.
I just don't know how to go about the whole intimacy topic now or how to move forward, at this moment in time it feels like we won't ever be intimate again.
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(Original post by AnnaBananana)
Is she getting any help or counselling for this?
Is she getting any help or counselling for this?
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
We’ve got the ball rolling for counselling this week. 2-4 weeks turnaround and she’s been put on different anxiety tablets so far.
We’ve got the ball rolling for counselling this week. 2-4 weeks turnaround and she’s been put on different anxiety tablets so far.
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
First few weeks of our relationship we had no problem with intimacy. However, one night she had a flashback in a nightmare and we haven't been intimate since. Not even passionate kissing...everything else with the relationship is amazing and I'm very happy and she says the same, but she admits it's set her back and the wall has gone up again with regards to intimacy after that.
I just don't know how to go about the whole intimacy topic now or how to move forward, at this moment in time it feels like we won't ever be intimate again.
First few weeks of our relationship we had no problem with intimacy. However, one night she had a flashback in a nightmare and we haven't been intimate since. Not even passionate kissing...everything else with the relationship is amazing and I'm very happy and she says the same, but she admits it's set her back and the wall has gone up again with regards to intimacy after that.
I just don't know how to go about the whole intimacy topic now or how to move forward, at this moment in time it feels like we won't ever be intimate again.
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(Original post by Ciel.)
you need to stop being a selfish prick, for once. she might need a break from sex. it could take several weeks or several months. trauma is a very complex thing. don't pressure her
you need to stop being a selfish prick, for once. she might need a break from sex. it could take several weeks or several months. trauma is a very complex thing. don't pressure her
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(Original post by lara147)
I think you should focus on trying to be there for her and making her feel comfortable. Trauma isn't easy and sometimes she might not understand her own feelings. I think you should be considerate and supportive and she'll appreciate that and it will help your relationship in the long run especially if she's able to talk to you about this freely.
I think you should focus on trying to be there for her and making her feel comfortable. Trauma isn't easy and sometimes she might not understand her own feelings. I think you should be considerate and supportive and she'll appreciate that and it will help your relationship in the long run especially if she's able to talk to you about this freely.
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#8
You will have to view sex as a complete beginner again, like you first did when you got in a relationship. Give her space and time, and when you do start being intimate take it slow and be sure she is with you the whole way. Whenever she feels the uncomfortable stop. You'll have to look at it a bit similar to exposure therapy. Reassure her. Be there for her rn, rn she does not want to have sex and that is okay. Don't make it a hoohah or a big thing. Allow it.
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#9
(Original post by headieone)
He's a selfish prick because he's asking for advice on how to improve his relationship? Get a life mate honestly
He's a selfish prick because he's asking for advice on how to improve his relationship? Get a life mate honestly
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#10
(Original post by headieone)
That's literally not even what he's saying lmao. Being intimate is a normal part of every relationship and obviously he gives a **** about her trauma that's why he's on here asking for advice... please don't come on tsr to give advice on a subject you know absolutely nothing about, try finding a significant other first
That's literally not even what he's saying lmao. Being intimate is a normal part of every relationship and obviously he gives a **** about her trauma that's why he's on here asking for advice... please don't come on tsr to give advice on a subject you know absolutely nothing about, try finding a significant other first
i do know a lot about the subject, darling. and i'm in a relationship, lol, so save it.
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#11
(Original post by headieone)
"how do you know" because I have the basic cognitive functioning? something you don't seem to have so that's quite understandable. Calling me darling and typing in all lowercase isn't making your point any stronger, sorry to break it to you.
"how do you know" because I have the basic cognitive functioning? something you don't seem to have so that's quite understandable. Calling me darling and typing in all lowercase isn't making your point any stronger, sorry to break it to you.
"typing in all lowercass isn't making my point any stronger"? are you having a laugh? that's your best argument? god, you're hilarious.
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah because your relationship is such a shining beacon for what relationships should look like.
Yeah because your relationship is such a shining beacon for what relationships should look like.
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#13
"bf slapped me in front out our neighbour last night and i'm so embarrassed"
"neighbour called the police on us"
"i want to leave my boyfriend and our pets"
OP, asking for help is the right thing to do. This is an extremely traumatic incident and things may not get back to how you are used to in a while, but your support will mean everything.
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#14
(Original post by Ciel.)
how do you know? are you him, is that why you're being such a good little white knight?
i do know a lot about the subject, darling. and i'm in a relationship, lol, so save it.
how do you know? are you him, is that why you're being such a good little white knight?
i do know a lot about the subject, darling. and i'm in a relationship, lol, so save it.
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
"i can't tell who's crazier, me or my bf"
"bf slapped me in front out our neighbour last night and i'm so embarrassed"
"neighbour called the police on us"
"i want to leave my boyfriend and our pets"
OP, asking for help is the right thing to do. This is an extremely traumatic incident and things may not get back to how you are used to in a while, but your support will mean everything.
"i can't tell who's crazier, me or my bf"
"bf slapped me in front out our neighbour last night and i'm so embarrassed"
"neighbour called the police on us"
"i want to leave my boyfriend and our pets"
OP, asking for help is the right thing to do. This is an extremely traumatic incident and things may not get back to how you are used to in a while, but your support will mean everything.
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#16
(Original post by Ramipril)
Somebody is having a mare today.
Somebody is having a mare today.
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#17
(Original post by Ciel.)
improve his relationship? all he cares about is sex. he doesn't give a **** about her trauma. "ooh, not even passionate kissing, poor meeee"
improve his relationship? all he cares about is sex. he doesn't give a **** about her trauma. "ooh, not even passionate kissing, poor meeee"
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#19
(Original post by Ciel.)
aww, you're having a bad day?
aww, you're having a bad day?
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#20
(Original post by Ramipril)
Nah my day is great. What about yours lol? Life still fabulous?
Nah my day is great. What about yours lol? Life still fabulous?
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