How many girls should you have slept with by your mid 20s?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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I'm 27 and i have only slept with 3 girls. Due to abuse and mental health issue whilst growing up, this is all i have to show for myself. I have missed out on so many opportunities in my life and i absolutely loathe myself for it. I don't like looking back on them because it honestly makes me want to jump in front of a train so as to stop the pain.

I do not believe in love because it is not real. All people do is pretend to love you and then they use and abuse you.
I've been tempted to use escorts to get a bit more experience but the fear of doing it and getting a criminal record is what puts me off. My peers tend to degrade and humiliate me due to how badly i suck with women so of course i do not hang out with them anymore.

I've had lots of therapy but it only works temporarily and the older i get, the worse i become. I seethe with rage when i see my peers getting into relationships very easily and settling down, meanwhile i'm struggling to even get a girl to look at me when i talk to her.

My relationships tend to start off okay when i meet someone but it just seems to fail because the girls are expecting perfection and tend to get put off by even the slightest mistake that i make. They also like to play games and do lots of little **** tests which put me off. I wish i could make all this anguish stop.
Last edited by Interrobang; 1 month ago
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stress2.1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 27 and i have only slept with 3 girls. Due to abuse and mental health issue whilst growing up, this is all i have to show for myself. I have missed out on so many opportunities in my life and i absolutely loathe myself for it. I don't like looking back on them because it honestly makes me want to jump in front of a train so as to stop the pain.

I do not believe in love because it is not real. All people do is pretend to love you and then they use and abuse you.
I've been tempted to use escorts to get a bit more experience but the fear of doing it and getting a criminal record is what puts me off. My peers tend to degrade and humiliate me due to how badly i suck with women so of course i do not hang out with them anymore.

I've had lots of therapy but it only works temporarily and the older i get, the worse i become. I seethe with rage when i see my peers getting into relationships very easily and settling down, meanwhile i'm struggling to even get a girl to look at me when i talk to her.

My relationships tend to start off okay when i meet someone but it just seems to fail because the girls are expecting perfection and tend to get put off by even the slightest mistake that i make. They also like to play games and do lots of little **** tests which put me off. I wish i could make all this anguish stop.
theres no set amount of girls to sleep with, i think thats just a really *****y thing to aspire to which is essentially culminated on societal expectations on what men should do. and love is real, ur not allowing yourself to open up to it. dont listen to other people, they dont live your life so u should not let them lead it. im a good deal younger but what im saying is stop searching for it. it will come to you when you least expect it. there is so much more to life that seeking validation romantically or socially. so much more. and ur only 27 u havent experienced that yet. youve been unlucky in love but trust me, not everyone is the same and u shouldnt go out thinking this- people who use love as a weapon is toxic and im glad u cut them out of ur life. have courage, you are more braver than you think. trust me
Last edited by Interrobang; 1 month ago
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stress2.1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 27 and i have only slept with 3 girls. Due to abuse and mental health issue whilst growing up, this is all i have to show for myself. I have missed out on so many opportunities in my life and i absolutely loathe myself for it. I don't like looking back on them because it honestly makes me want to jump in front of a train so as to stop the pain.

I do not believe in love because it is not real. All people do is pretend to love you and then they use and abuse you.
I've been tempted to use escorts to get a bit more experience but the fear of doing it and getting a criminal record is what puts me off. My peers tend to degrade and humiliate me due to how badly i suck with women so of course i do not hang out with them anymore.

I've had lots of therapy but it only works temporarily and the older i get, the worse i become. I seethe with rage when i see my peers getting into relationships very easily and settling down, meanwhile i'm struggling to even get a girl to look at me when i talk to her.

My relationships tend to start off okay when i meet someone but it just seems to fail because the girls are expecting perfection and tend to get put off by even the slightest mistake that i make. They also like to play games and do lots of little **** tests which put me off. I wish i could make all this anguish stop.
the amount of people u are with or sleep with does not define you at all. please remember this
Last edited by Interrobang; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by stress2.1)
theres no set amount of girls to sleep with, i think thats just a really *****y thing to aspire to which is essentially culminated on societal expectations on what men should do. and love is real, ur not allowing yourself to open up to it. dont listen to other people, they dont live your life so u should not let them lead it. im a good deal younger but what im saying is stop searching for it. it will come to you when you least expect it. there is so much more to life that seeking validation romantically or socially. so much more. and ur only 27 u havent experienced that yet. youve been unlucky in love but trust me, not everyone is the same and u shouldnt go out thinking this- people who use love as a weapon is toxic and im glad u cut them out of ur life. have courage, you are more braver than you think. trust me
Thank you for your kind words. What do you mean that i'm blocking love and not allowing myself to open up to it? It doesn't seem to happen for me. 27 is getting on a bit tbh, i'm almost 30 for crying out loud and women by that age expect a man to be much more experienced.
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username5484956
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Honestly, it’s like asking how long a piece of string is. Most girls probably won’t want to know or hear bragging about this. It’s a turn-off. Your lack of success is probably down to being too keen and desperate when dating.
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Anonymous #2
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No offence but that’s the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Having sex with loads of girls in your 20s doesn’t make you a loser, in fact it’s actually a deal breaker for some when you find out your partner has had so many hook ups. Your 27, your still young so don’t be stressing over finding a partner, the right one comes when you least expect it. But not all girls like to play games, you’re clearing going for the wrong ones.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for your kind words. What do you mean that i'm blocking love and not allowing myself to open up to it? It doesn't seem to happen for me. 27 is getting on a bit tbh, i'm almost 30 for crying out loud and women by that age expect a man to be much more experienced.
Most women don't care. I personally would rather have a boyfriend who'd slept with 3 women than 30 women. Three women at your age sounds totally reasonable.
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tashkent46
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As many as you wanted to.
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Anonymous #4
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I mean this in the most well meaning way possible - go see a therapist
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I mean this in the most well meaning way possible - go see a therapist
Tbh I only read the first half of your post, didn’t realise you already had - in which case, I apologise for that
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Anonymous #1
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Yeah i realize how contradictory and insane it sounds but that is what i genuinely believe. I don't believe that it can happen for me. You may or may not believe me but it is the truth. And yes i have seen a therapist and tried to improve my mindset but i still struggle with a fear of relationships and women.
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ROTL94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've had lots of therapy but it only works temporarily and the older i get, the worse i become. I seethe with rage when i see my peers getting into relationships very easily and settling down, meanwhile i'm struggling to even get a girl to look at me when i talk to her.
There is no should, think you need to calm it down a bit, you're coming off a bit Elliott Rodgers-ey.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DrEwanA)
Honestly, it’s like asking how long a piece of string is. Most girls probably won’t want to know or hear bragging about this. It’s a turn-off. Your lack of success is probably down to being too keen and desperate when dating.
How am I being too keen and desperate?
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username5484956
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How am I being too keen and desperate?
3 girls is fine, that’s probably well over average for guys
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karl pilkington
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depends on how tall and good looking you are and how easy the girls are they could all be ****s
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by username5484956)
3 girls is fine, that’s probably well over average for guys
How is that average? Where are you getting your data from? It is below average if anything.
(Original post by karl pilkington)
depends on how tall and good looking you are and how easy the girls are they could all be ****s
Well i'm 6' 1 , not sure about good looking though, as that is subjective.
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stress2.1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for your kind words. What do you mean that i'm blocking love and not allowing myself to open up to it? It doesn't seem to happen for me. 27 is getting on a bit tbh, i'm almost 30 for crying out loud and women by that age expect a man to be much more experienced.
When u said love is not real- ur basing that based on past toxic relationships that u have, Ok im like 18 so i have no "wise worldly advice" to impart upon you but honestly- when ur with the right person it doesnt matter abt the expereince but what feels right. Lol so what if ur nearly 30? My sister didnt meet her husband till she was like 35 (i was clearly an accident due to the vast age gap but we move). theres no set age and women dont care abt it in that way, at least not that muc- its just ur personality, well for me anyways
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TJ1997
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I don't think there's a set number and as others have said, plays into false and greatly exaggerated societal expectations. Everyone is different and trying to compare yourself constantly to others will provide no improvement to your mental health at all.

Also worth noting that there are people at your age that have less experience than you, some even being virgins who might loathe themselves for that and look to people like yourself as successful..
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