Its time i begin talking to guys - but how?

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Anonymous #1
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Ok im at an age now where I want to actually talk to guys and get into relationships etc (im 19 and never have been in one). I want to meet someone in person, not online

Problem is, I’m not shy around girls but I am around guys, especially guys I find attractive. Its probably something to do with going to an all girls school and having all girls around me in my family growing up, so never really talking to guys?

How do i overcome this shyness in person and actually talk to guys?
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2003a39
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok im at an age now where I want to actually talk to guys and get into relationships etc (im 19 and never have been in one). I want to meet someone in person, not online

Problem is, I’m not shy around girls but I am around guys, especially guys I find attractive. Its probably something to do with going to an all girls school and having all girls around me in my family growing up, so never really talking to guys?

How do i overcome this shyness in person and actually talk to guys?
Same here, I'm a male and terrible at starting conversations with females. Eye contact is also one of my weaknesses. Upbringing doesn't help us either...

What you could do is think of a reasonable sentence to start a conversation with and approach a guy, regardless of what you're thinking, it's the "just do it" mindset. Once you've got the response, keep it flowing, and try to keep calm. It works for me, but only when we have to speak to a person.

If you struggle with approaching guys, be by yourself while others are in groups, one might approach you (that guy will likely be confident, if that happens, make sure you put your phone away so you don't deter them).

I'm pretty good at making girls laugh even with my lack of confidence with them so let your sense of humour out (you'll be more confident as long as you have girls around you), it can help create the spark to a conversation too
Last edited by 2003a39; 1 month ago
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Surnia
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There is no age at which you have to be in or had a relationship, so put that aside for now.

Learn to talk to guys as friends first; don't view them as potential dates or you'll come over as desperate. Be yourself, as in maintain your standards and don't feign interest in something you don't like or get involved in any objectionable talk. It's basically no different than talking to your female friends: family, hobbies, news, tv, films, holidays, food etc. Ask questions, but don't make it a one-sided interrogation, and offer your opinion to keep it balanced. Ask the kind of questions you would like to be asked if people were getting to know you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
There is no age at which you have to be in or had a relationship, so put that aside for now.

Learn to talk to guys as friends first; don't view them as potential dates or you'll come over as desperate. Be yourself, as in maintain your standards and don't feign interest in something you don't like or get involved in any objectionable talk. It's basically no different than talking to your female friends: family, hobbies, news, tv, films, holidays, food etc. Ask questions, but don't make it a one-sided interrogation, and offer your opinion to keep it balanced. Ask the kind of questions you would like to be asked if people were getting to know you.
I feel like if i talk to a guy it may seem like i like them!
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like if i talk to a guy it may seem like i like them!
Well, yes, as it happens all the time, because you don't strike up conversations with people you hate! But it's perfectly possible to talk with someone and them not think you want to date them!
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Anonymous #2
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I’m a guy who is also 19 and has similarly never been in a relationship but does have a few close friends who are girls, but anyway if you’re in lectures or something literally just ask at the end ‘how did you find that’ and go from there, granted the conversation might not be long but it’s a start. I used to be incredibly shy around girls until I realised that I could literally just talk to them as if they were a guy, and it works in reverse too.

With regards to ‘it might make it seem like I like them’, if a girl talks to me I assume they like me as a person but not anything more. Also as others said, get good at talking to guys as friends first - this is essentially the reason I’ve not been in a relationship, I wanted to perfect this first of all.
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