scares me how easily people can fall out of love

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Anonymous #1
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it scares me how easily people can fall out of love. idk if i love my boyfriend, i’m 17, do people this young ever actually fully know? i really want a future with him, so much, but it scares me when i see things like ‘i’ve fell out of love with my boyfriend of 10 years’. like how tf does that even happen. i want to stay growing with this same boy forever and i never want to lose feelings for him, but as an overthinker i second guess my love for him all the time even though we’ve come out strong after everything
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2003a39
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(Original post by Anonymous)
it scares me how easily people can fall out of love. idk if i love my boyfriend, i’m 17, do people this young ever actually fully know? i really want a future with him, so much, but it scares me when i see things like ‘i’ve fell out of love with my boyfriend of 10 years’. like how tf does that even happen. i want to stay growing with this same boy forever and i never want to lose feelings for him, but as an overthinker i second guess my love for him all the time even though we’ve come out strong after everything
Don't worry, people often misuse that phrase.
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ThatOldGuy
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Love isn't a feeling. Love is a choice. Attraction. Those butterflies. Try to imagine two 80 year old folks feeling that after being married for 60 years.

You love someone because you choose to put their welfare first.
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𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂
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(Original post by Anonymous)
it scares me how easily people can fall out of love. idk if i love my boyfriend, i’m 17, do people this young ever actually fully know? i really want a future with him, so much, but it scares me when i see things like ‘i’ve fell out of love with my boyfriend of 10 years’. like how tf does that even happen. i want to stay growing with this same boy forever and i never want to lose feelings for him, but as an overthinker i second guess my love for him all the time even though we’ve come out strong after everything
People can fall out of love with someone they spent so long with because they forget how to talk to each other sometimes. Maybe the intimacy falls by the wayside and people feel they cant speak to their partner about it. Perhaps the partner has had a trauma of somekind in their life and become all closed up, or angry.
Last edited by 𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂; 1 month ago
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NonIndigenous
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(Original post by Anonymous)
it scares me how easily people can fall out of love. idk if i love my boyfriend, i’m 17, do people this young ever actually fully know? i really want a future with him, so much, but it scares me when i see things like ‘i’ve fell out of love with my boyfriend of 10 years’. like how tf does that even happen. i want to stay growing with this same boy forever and i never want to lose feelings for him, but as an overthinker i second guess my love for him all the time even though we’ve come out strong after everything
Because people get bored. They get bored, because they settle into a boring fking routine of 9-5 work with no real career plan other than 'climbing the ladder', recycle same old hobbies, learn nothing new, and stop seeking out new experiences. And instead of taking initiative to do something useful or exciting with themselves, they pin the responsibility for their own mental well being on the other person in the relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ThatOldGuy)
Love isn't a feeling. Love is a choice. Attraction. Those butterflies. Try to imagine two 80 year old folks feeling that after being married for 60 years.

You love someone because you choose to put their welfare first.
i don’t get butterflies for my boyfriend bht honestly do anything to make him happy
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ghostlady)
People can fall out of love with someone they spent so long with because they forget how to talk to each other sometimes. Maybe the intimacy falls by the wayside and people feel they cant speak to their partner about it. Perhaps the partner has had a trauma of somekind in their life and become all closed up, or angry.
i hope this never happens
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𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i hope this never happens
A lot of couples dont Enjoy things for what they are right now. If you spend too much time worrying, you will work your way up into a load of 'what if's' which isnt good for a relationship. He loves you, you love him, thats all that matters
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ghostlady)
A lot of couples dont Enjoy things for what they are right now. If you spend too much time worrying, you will work your way up into a load of 'what if's' which isnt good for a relationship. He loves you, you love him, thats all that matters
sorry what do you mean a lot of couples don’t? they don’t what?
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becausethenight
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No point worrying until it happens
Things can happen in life - unemployment, kids, new jobs, bereavements etc and people can change. If you're happy now, enjoy that and work to keep it, that's all you can do.
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Anonymous #2
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It scares me how easily people fall in love. Or indeed believe that love is a thing.
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𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂
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(Original post by Anonymous)
sorry what do you mean a lot of couples don’t? they don’t what?
A lot of couples don’t split up.
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Dunnig Kruger
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How long the average relationship lasts for the age group of 16- to 18-years-old is close to the figure Fogarty cited for 15- and 16-year-olds. According to the National Institutes of Health, teenagers 16 years old to 18 years old have relationships that last 1.8 years.
https://dating.lovetoknow.com/relati...p-lasts-by-age

That's a 1.8 year average. It will be a bell shaped distribution curve with a long tail to the right because a small proportion of relationships started at the age of 17 last till death do them part.

It's fine that you have the ambition to stay with him forever.
Personally I think that having the ambition that you will have an as content and fulfilling life as you can is an ambition that should have top priority in your life. If achieving this ambition means that you stay with one partner forever, so be it. If it means leaving your partner when your relationship has run its' course, or you discover that your partner is not the sort of person that will help you to achieve contentment or fulfillment, then so be that eventuality too.
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𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂
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I do think the worrying will only affect the relationship more and can lead to thinking of other things that could be an issue, when in fact there is no issue at all. Worrying about the realtionship all the the time will end up having trust issues. It will end up thinking irrationally '' whats he up to?'' '' why isnt he back yet'', ''is he spending too much time on his phone, doesnt he like me any more?'' you get the gist.

In answer to your original post your 17 do you ever really know if you are in love. Well, if you find him sexually attractive, love his personality, trust him completely, and dont want to be overly obsessive wanting him in your presence 24hours a day and have a life that also doesnt revolve your boyfriend all the time, then your on to a good thing
Last edited by 𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂; 1 month ago
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safewithmarnie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
it scares me how easily people can fall out of love. idk if i love my boyfriend, i’m 17, do people this young ever actually fully know? i really want a future with him, so much, but it scares me when i see things like ‘i’ve fell out of love with my boyfriend of 10 years’. like how tf does that even happen. i want to stay growing with this same boy forever and i never want to lose feelings for him, but as an overthinker i second guess my love for him all the time even though we’ve come out strong after everything
People often hold onto things that have died out, that sounds bad but people can loose feelings for many reasons. Love doesn't come in the click of a fingers, it has to be worked towards. People also love the memories, not the person... that is why it is hard to let go sometimes
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