How to deal with controlling girlfriend?

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Anonymous #1
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I am *struggling with her atm shes basically forcing me to stay in lockdown even though we are going out of lockdown on December 2nd. In the full lockdown she reported me, her own bf she reported me to 101 because I broke the rules and maybe I shouldn't have done it but she shouldn't have reported her own bf. Also me or anyone in this house have not got covid my parents have both been tested negative and the rest of us are young so we didn't waste the tests because older people might need them.

My gf is controlling in other ways as well, she got angry with me because I bought a new phone with my own money, she made me sell my car which I did threads about like 6 months ago and she stops me spending my money. I split up with her and then I didnt like without her I felt alone and I love her but shes controlling
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Anonymous #2
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You have to leave her and the relationship behind. Even though you might love her, it's unhealthy and damaging to your emotional health and personal life to continue seeing someone who is exerting manipulation and control over your everyday life. You need to act now before it becomes more serious and damaging and progresses further.
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bethwade389
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You may love her mate, but staying with her will not make her behaviour change and will NOT change the fact that this is abuse. It might not be what you want to hear but this is domestic abuse.

I know you may feel alone without her but you don’t realise this is so much worse in the long run. You’ve spotted the signs you know this behaviour is not normal and not okay so you need to be honest with yourself and her and end it. For your sake and your mental well-being.

You DO NOT deserve to be treat this way and her problems are not your fault.

You deserve so much better mate don’t hesitate to reach out
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bethwade389)
You may love her mate, but staying with her will not make her behaviour change and will NOT change the fact that this is abuse. It might not be what you want to hear but this is domestic abuse.

I know you may feel alone without her but you don’t realise this is so much worse in the long run. You’ve spotted the signs you know this behaviour is not normal and not okay so you need to be honest with yourself and her and end it. For your sake and your mental well-being.

You DO NOT deserve to be treat this way and her problems are not your fault.

You deserve so much better mate don’t hesitate to reach out
I think I prefer being controlled than being single
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You have to leave her and the relationship behind. Even though you might love her, it's unhealthy and damaging to your emotional health and personal life to continue seeing someone who is exerting manipulation and control over your everyday life. You need to act now before it becomes more serious and damaging and progresses further.
I did act and what I have mentioned that shes controlling anyway, shes trying to keep me in lockdown which I dont like but I think I can deal with it that's why I'm asking how to on here and her keeping me in lockdown could be saving lives
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BurstingBubbles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am *struggling with her atm shes basically forcing me to stay in lockdown even though we are going out of lockdown on December 2nd. In the full lockdown she reported me, her own bf she reported me to 101 because I broke the rules and maybe I shouldn't have done it but she shouldn't have reported her own bf. Also me or anyone in this house have not got covid my parents have both been tested negative and the rest of us are young so we didn't waste the tests because older people might need them.

My gf is controlling in other ways as well, she got angry with me because I bought a new phone with my own money, she made me sell my car which I did threads about like 6 months ago and she stops me spending my money. I split up with her and then I didnt like without her I felt alone and I love her but shes controlling
I think the first part is fair because, well, you broke the rules.

But the second paragraph about your phone and money etc... yeah that's controlling. Realistically (from experience of being controlled in a previous relationship) it won't end well. It's better to be single for a bit and find the right person than carry on with her. I would say talk to her about it, but often controlling people don't change!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by BurstingBubbles)
I think the first part is fair because, well, you broke the rules.

But the second paragraph about your phone and money etc... yeah that's controlling. Realistically (from experience of being controlled in a previous relationship) it won't end well. It's better to be single for a bit and find the right person than carry on with her. I would say talk to her about it, but often controlling people don't change!
I don't think she should have reported her own bf but im just immature.

The phone thing she might just want me to save money and the lockdown thing is to save lives I think she just wants me to save lives
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BurstingBubbles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't think she should have reported her own bf but im just immature.

The phone thing she might just want me to save money and the lockdown thing is to save lives I think she just wants me to save lives
If my partner wasn't following the rules and putting people's lives at risk (like any other crime which can harm people) and they wouldn't listen to me advising against it, I probably would report it.

Sounds like you're making excuses for her. There's one thing helping your partner to save money and advising them, but to pressure someone into selling their own things is controlling. If you weren't concerned about her controlling behaviour, you wouldn't have made this thread. Either speak to her about it with the view to her being less control it, or end things. If you want to continue as it is then fine, but you're clearly not happy/have concerns based on your creation of this thread controlling behaviour can often get worse and escalate.
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Dunnig Kruger
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If anyone grassed me up, I'd be looking at whether they handed themselves in whenever they broke a law. Like when they drove at 33 mph in a 30 zone. Or smoked some weed outside of Canada. Or hit their brother or sister during an argument. Or stole a pen from work, etc etc etc.
If they didn't I'd write them off as a huge hypocrite.

Best response is for you to start acting like a man - to use a rather outdated and somewhat sexist cliche.
Or to put it another way, it's time you were a lot more assertive about what you do with your life. In a live and let live kind of way. With a strong emphasis on the first live - the aspect of you living your life how you want.
If she's happy to be a part of your life, then fine. If she's not happy she can walk away anytime.

So for example:
You have a car. She tells you to sell it. Your response "Sure I'll sell it... For £50,000. Do you want to buy it?" Then look around the room and say "Does anyone want to buy my car for £50,000? It's a great car. It's a 2001 VW Golf 1.4 petrol." When nobody buys it say "Gee, I guess I'm not a very good car salesman."

You want to buy yourself a phone. She gets angry. You ignore her and buy the phone anyway.


Having said all that:
My Dad's 3rd wife is a control freak and very bossy. She's someone that I can't take seriously at all. Her bossiness is so predictable. And so breathtakingly rude that it's usually laugh out loud funny. I wouldn't stay attached to someone like that for one minute. But my dad was with her for many years, playing the role of the totally dominated husband. He always gave the appearance that he was delighted to be her shadow.
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