haven’t found the right group of friends at uni

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Anonymous #1
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i just feel like **** because i haven’t made many close friends in uni and none of them try as hard as myself to keep the friendship alive it’s exhausting being in a one sided relationship when i know i’m just a class friend and nothing more or just a roommate/person to tolerate until they move to another place it’s just **** covid has made things worse since i haven’t met as much people as i normally would so i haven’t had the chance to talk to everyone in my class yet
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i just feel like **** because i haven’t made many close friends in uni and none of them try as hard as myself to keep the friendship alive it’s exhausting being in a one sided relationship when i know i’m just a class friend and nothing more or just a roommate/person to tolerate until they move to another place it’s just **** covid has made things worse since i haven’t met as much people as i normally would so i haven’t had the chance to talk to everyone in my class yet
sorry i meant friendship
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Compost
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Is this your first term?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Compost)
Is this your first term?
yes
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Compost
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For me recollection of starting university in more normal times, you make friends in the first term that you then spend quite a while quietly avoiding so you may just be avoiding some of this. I'm sure it isn't at all easy at the moment but very few of us start university and instantly make a group of friends for life - other people will be feeling similarly isolated at university right now and you will get a chance to meet them in the end (That said, I experienced a really traumatic event last week and a friend I met in my first hour at university in 1983 came to see me on Saturday to help me. I'm sure those sort of friends are out there for you and you will find them.)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Compost)
For me recollection of starting university in more normal times, you make friends in the first term that you then spend quite a while quietly avoiding so you may just be avoiding some of this. I'm sure it isn't at all easy at the moment but very few of us start university and instantly make a group of friends for life - other people will be feeling similarly isolated at university right now and you will get a chance to meet them in the end (That said, I experienced a really traumatic event last week and a friend I met in my first hour at university in 1983 came to see me on Saturday to help me. I'm sure those sort of friends are out there for you and you will find them.)
thank you that does give me some hope but in these times it’s so difficult to not give up loneliness just eats you up and friendship will come if i stop looking for it but it gets harder every day being alone i hope you’re okay from that traumatic event you’re really lucky to have someone like that
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Blackstarr
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I feel you cuz going thru the same thing
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Ramipril
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My friendship group was made from second year onwards. First year friendships are often very flakey since they are mostly out of convenience (at first anyway) and everyone is desperate to make friends. Especially in first term.
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username5484956
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(Original post by Ramipril)
My friendship group was made from second year onwards. First year friendships are often very flakey since they are mostly out of convenience (at first anyway) and everyone is desperate to make friends. Especially in first term.
Agreed, I find I never talk to anyone really at all from first year anymore.
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Mesopotamian.
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(Original post by Ramipril)
My friendship group was made from second year onwards. First year friendships are often very flakey since they are mostly out of convenience (at first anyway) and everyone is desperate to make friends. Especially in first term.
Same for me.

OP don’t worry too much, things will get better, especially as hopefully we’ll have more in-person sessions next academic year when things slowly go back to normal.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Blackstarr)
I feel you cuz going thru the same thing
i’m sorry i know how you feel i hope things get better for you
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mesopotamian.)
Same for me.

OP don’t worry too much, things will get better, especially as hopefully we’ll have more in-person sessions next academic year when things slowly go back to normal.
thank you
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Anonymous #2
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im the same. My flat mates are **** we dont talk and its so awkward in the kitchen. I dont know anyone from my course because all lectures are online. I really hate covid because I could have made friends when going out but there is some hope as things start to get to normal, I just hope they get rid of this rule of 6 things. I have joined 2 sports teams and a joining a third in semester 2, but I feel like its so hard to connect as other people who have good flat mates have established a bond. i KNOW loads of people who know who they are living with next year and i am feeling left out because i havent got a clue. And it doesnt help that I am 21 and a fresher, feel like people think i am too old.
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University of Bradford
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i just feel like **** because i haven’t made many close friends in uni and none of them try as hard as myself to keep the friendship alive it’s exhausting being in a one sided relationship when i know i’m just a class friend and nothing more or just a roommate/person to tolerate until they move to another place it’s just **** covid has made things worse since i haven’t met as much people as i normally would so i haven’t had the chance to talk to everyone in my class yet
Hey!

I'm so sorry to hear this. You should be very proud of yourself for putting in so much effort, despite not receiving it back! Some people don't meet their friends for life at uni, I know I preferred to focus on my studies instead. Maybe you'll meet great people in your second year, or maybe not until your very last year! I know people who meet their best of friends after uni, in the work place. Things take time, but don't give up hope

Have you thought about joining a club or society? Hopefully there's some virtual events you can get involved in. Or volunteering, becoming a student ambassador or finding part-time work on campus? - all great ways of meeting new people.

I wish you the very best of luck with your uni experience,

Becky
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