I am not sure whether to end things with my bf

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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I'll try and keep this short. I am 17 (young ik). My bf and i go to separate colleges. I only have just gotten proper friends this September I have been dating my bf for over a year almost 2. He's great i just feel sometimes like he's preventing me from being a teenager a bit. It's not really his fault he wants to go to Harvard or Cambridge and obviously that's his dream and im just his college gf fair enough. It's just he only allocates 1 day for me 3pm- 9am on a Saturday its like a time slot. I wanted to go and do stuff w him like idk go to the beach or something at least in the summer but idk he worked really hard and idk did some poor time management and now im idk a bit bitter about it. I decided as it's not changing i am going to do things w my friends but then that means i sometimes go a month w out seeing him. All we ever do is have sex talk about academia and sometimes cuddle for hours (cuddling is nice its just a lot like all evening w no films or anything) and half the time he falls asleep on me when im talking even. He is a really lovely guy and half the time its me starting the arguments ik i am an inconvenience in his life. Theres other stuff like he one time broke up w me and was gonna run off w a girl (that idk he may or may not of cheated on w me) and i took him back bc i was idk kinda dumb. He still hangs out w this girl more than me like sometimes he cancels us meeting up and hangs w her at a "chess tournament". Ik he isnt cheating it just feels wrong like idk im probably grasping at straws bc of my own guilt. Occasionally i feel really bored and think like y r we together. I have boys interested in me at college and idk i have like a fantasy about it and then i am like no. I feel like this is bad. I have talked to him about it and he just says either he'll time manage better or he has negative time for me. I also feel like i am almost at the end of the year i only have 9 months left here most of which taken up by studying probably.
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ashtolga23
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It doesn’t sound like you’re that invested anymore and I don’t blame you, as you clearly aren’t his priority, or at least you aren’t being treated as such.

Trust your instinct, but the fact you’re fantasising about other people wanting you suggests that it may be time to call it a day. I’m also uncomfortable with this other girl tbh, and I wouldn’t be happy about that in your position.
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Anonymous #2
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Honestly it seems as though he’s the one who should be putting in more effort. You deserve better if you aren’t a priority of his. I recommend thinking it through before making a rash decision though. It does seem like you’re losing interest in the relationship and that’s completely fine. Do what’s best for you at the end of the day, that’s what matters. Hope this all works out for you
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly it seems as though he’s the one who should be putting in more effort. You deserve better if you aren’t a priority of his. I recommend thinking it through before making a rash decision though. It does seem like you’re losing interest in the relationship and that’s completely fine. Do what’s best for you at the end of the day, that’s what matters. Hope this all works out for you
Thank you for responding. Obviously its quite hard to explain on TSR and ik this isnt the best place to ask im just a lil lost on who to ask (my friends r all kinda biased and r living the single hook up kinda life rn and my guy friends probably have ulterior motives). I just feel bad bc i get frustrated w him which isn't exactly fair. Like today he was telling me about my personal statement and telling me how my writing was questionable on it and how i needed to learn how to write concisely eventho i can and he had only seen my first draft which was kinda bad which he knew and was probably just trying to be helpful and i just snapped over this silly little thing. idk i kinda want to get to how it was i just don't know how to fix things.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
It doesn’t sound like you’re that invested anymore and I don’t blame you, as you clearly aren’t his priority, or at least you aren’t being treated as such.

Trust your instinct, but the fact you’re fantasising about other people wanting you suggests that it may be time to call it a day. I’m also uncomfortable with this other girl tbh, and I wouldn’t be happy about that in your position.
Yeah idk thats basically what i want. idk if i am asking for too much like sometimes i feel like im going insane like once a week is fine for a lot of people and he is busy if you know what i mean. I do find the fantasing about other people a problem recently. Like idk usually i just am flattered if someone (who i think aha) is flirting w me and don't think too much of it. But over the last few weeks i got introduced to this guy at college (i barley know him at all in rl) and have started playing games online w him and my friends and today he messaged me saying he saw me in college (this is rather cheesy teeny stuff ik) and i just idk got excited and was wanting him to reply quickly and just thinking about him all of that which is so wrong.
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah idk thats basically what i want. idk if i am asking for too much like sometimes i feel like im going insane like once a week is fine for a lot of people and he is busy if you know what i mean. I do find the fantasing about other people a problem recently. Like idk usually i just am flattered if someone (who i think aha) is flirting w me and don't think too much of it. But over the last few weeks i got introduced to this guy at college (i barley know him at all in rl) and have started playing games online w him and my friends and today he messaged me saying he saw me in college (this is rather cheesy teeny stuff ik) and i just idk got excited and was wanting him to reply quickly and just thinking about him all of that which is so wrong.
You can’t compare to other people because it’s just what works for you that matters really. I wouldn’t be happy if he’s possibly cheated and spends more time with other girls, no matter how much I saw him.

It sounds like you’re beginning to crush on this new guy, so it might be fairer to break up with your current bf. Doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere anymore unfortunately.

I hope it all goes well for you.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you yeah i feel like his relationship is a lil inappropriate w this girl like she buys him nice gifts and they go to these events events together. I think you are probably right its just kinda fizzled out. I'll figure out a way to tell him. I have already told him about this guy (obviously not like how i feel about it) just like how i think he was hitting on me and stuff and the conversation but he doesn't even care. Thanks this has really helped.
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