The Student Room Group

Is virginity a deal breaker when dating in your 20's

Almost all of my girl friends have yet to have a sexual encounter with a guy. I've recently lost my virginity and felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Being 22 and celibate your entire life might throw a potential partner off, I reckon. Is it hard for my friends to find their SO as they grow older, just because they're inexperienced, or am I just biased? (important note: we are westerners so premarital sex isn't a societal taboo)
Maybe
no. probably prized in a lady (as unfortunate as that is)

inexperience with relationships/dating at large comes across in other ways. but again it depends on the person - you can't generalise. some people may have had experience with relationships but no experience in sex.

what matters most if one's willingness to learn and pleasure the other person. frankly most men don't have the luxury of being impatient while the lady learns some of the tricks of the trade. they'd consider themselves lucky just for getting laid.

side note: it's infuriating when people pretend like they're super picky and have tonnes of options, especially men who aren't 10/10s. you get what you can. TSR isn't like this but some other fora/websites are. lots of people coming up with arbitrary requirements for a partner (virginity is one of them!!) when they look like a dead fish
(edited 3 years ago)
It certainly would not be - at least for me.
For a women virginity is desirable in other cultures but in the UK would be seen as weird but would not be a barrier. Men do not really care for it, they will sleep with you regardless.

For a guy virginity is undesirable universally. It would be seen as weird, It is weird. Many women will be put off by it. If I were in this situation I would lie to be honest.
No.
Reply 6
It shouldn't be, but is usually worse for men in the same position
Original post by tashkent46
For a women virginity is desirable in other cultures but in the UK would be seen as weird but would not be a barrier. Men do not really care for it, they will sleep with you regardless.

For a guy virginity is undesirable universally. It would be seen as weird, It is weird. Many women will be put off by it. If I were in this situation I would lie to be honest.

Lol virginity in women is definitely desirable in the UK and everywhere else in the world for most men. It is universal nature, men will be more drawn to a girl who hasn't had sexual relations with lots of men already, it makes her more "pure" for lack of a better word.
Original post by Anonymous
Lol virginity in women is definitely desirable in the UK and everywhere else in the world for most men. It is universal nature, men will be more drawn to a girl who hasn't had sexual relations with lots of men already, it makes her more "pure" for lack of a better word.


I have no idea what you are on about to be honest. This view seems more religious. I like a woman with more experience personally... More likely to be better, less likely to hurt from excessive tightness.
Original post by tashkent46
I have no idea what you are on about to be honest. This view seems more religious. I like a woman with more experience personally... More likely to be better, less likely to hurt from excessive tightness.

Definitely not just a religious thing, it's a universal rule 99% of men would agree with. I've never ever heard a guy say he won't date a girl if she's a virgin, I've heard plenty saying it would be a turn on / preferrable (although these days if you are an adult is very rare, which if anything makes it even more desirable)
Sometimes it is a dealbreaker.
Particularly with very socially traditionalist or religious people who believe that marriage is always for life and have compatibility dealbreakers- girls and guys.
Whether for relationship compatibility based on no sexual experience, religious beliefs or secular activists who advocate abstinence until marriage.

My friend is a 26 year old fundamentalist christian, she has never dated, wants a large family and is only willing to marry a virgin guy who shares her religious beliefs & is no more than 6 months older than her.
I date with an age gap of 15+ years and wouldn't date a virgin or abstinence movement supporter.
Original post by tashkent46
For a guy virginity is undesirable universally. It would be seen as weird, It is weird.

why do you think this? (genuine question - i'm not agreeing or disagreeing - don't shoot)
Original post by EU Yakov
why do you think this? (genuine question - i'm not agreeing or disagreeing - don't shoot)

I'm ready to shoot now. Jokes.

I think this because men are still treated differently to women in many ways. Men are supposed to be sexual, women are not. This is the position in most of the world. Most of the Arab world, most of Africa, most of Asia, most of conservative America and so on. Even so even in our liberal society women are seen differently, being a virgin is an innocent thing. Whereas most women I have spoken to seem creeped out by the idea that a man has never had intimacy.
Original post by tashkent46
I'm ready to shoot now. Jokes.

I think this because men are still treated differently to women in many ways. Men are supposed to be sexual, women are not. This is the position in most of the world. Most of the Arab world, most of Africa, most of Asia, most of conservative America and so on. Even so even in our liberal society women are seen differently, being a virgin is an innocent thing. Whereas most women I have spoken to seem creeped out by the idea that a man has never had intimacy.

thanks for the answer. and for not shooting!
Original post by Anonymous
Lol virginity in women is definitely desirable in the UK and everywhere else in the world for most men. It is universal nature, men will be more drawn to a girl who hasn't had sexual relations with lots of men already, it makes her more "pure" for lack of a better word.


I know that some men are crazy to be a woman's first, but aren't ready for the attachment it brings on. My sister had met this guy online who was super clingy at first (ofc he knew she was a v*rgin) and was very pushy towards meeting her, although she'd made it clear she wasn't interested. Upon their second date, they went all the way, and a few times after that; but then he started to grow distant, not replying etc. My sister, by that time, had ofc grown feelings for him, whereas he seemed to give zero fricks for her emotions.When she asked him why he'd grown so distant, he had the nerve to say: "I knew you were a virgin and I didn't want you to get too attached". I think we all knew what was that got him so interested in her in the first place, but then showed ZERO respect for it. Needless to say my sister was heartbroken. The audacity of some people.

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