Relationships..🤔

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username5500708
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#1
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How do you guys get about finding relationships whether it's a FwB or something romantic.
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boeuf
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go to parties, do extracurriculars, use socials (your friends might b able to match u up w someone if they think you'd be good together)
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Surnia
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I didn't go looking, it just happened; started a new job, got chatting to a guy at work, we hit it off, started dating 4 days later. Still together, in a long-term relationship!
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tinygirl96
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Hobbies
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sunny.side.up
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For me, I've always met my boyfriend at school. Usually, I started with being friends with them, and then the relationship just sorta happened.
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username5500708
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Hm, cool; Cheers👍
It's certainty harder finding someone as a guy though.

As a girl all you need to do show your face and a guy will come to you with their ulterior motives.

I'll just be focusing on my studies for now.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Darktriad96)
As a girl all you need to do show your face and a guy will come to you with their ulterior motives.
Looool, not you thinking it's as easy as this for all of us. :laugh:
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username5500708
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Looool, not you thinking it's as easy as this for all of us. :laugh:
It Indeed is!👀
Guys have no standards so it's generally easy for girls to get guys. I'd say it's probably difficult to find quality as a girl but finding someone isn't a problem.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Darktriad96)
It Indeed is!👀
Guys have no standards so it's generally easy for girls to get guys. I'd say it's probably difficult to find quality as a girl but finding someone isn't a problem.
I beg to differ actually. No point generalising when I can admit I'm a definite exception. 💁🏻*♀️
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Pugglet
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I mean I struggled to find someone for two or three years
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Darktriad96)
It Indeed is!👀
Guys have no standards so it's generally easy for girls to get guys. I'd say it's probably difficult to find quality as a girl but finding someone isn't a problem.
What's the point of starting a relationship with someone if the quality isn't there?

It's better to remain single than it is to be with someone that's not compatible or that isn't worthy of your love.

As for a recipe for finding someone good enough to have a relationship:
Meet and talk to as many candidates as you can. This can take some courage, imagination and determination.
When you meet people, talk and behave in the right way. This is one of those areas where knowing good theory isn't too difficult, but it takes a lot of practise to get good at it. But where doing everything according to good theory isn't essential, it just maximises your chances with any good, compatible person. And helps weed out the less suitable candidates quicker.

And then it's a case of your ongoing behaviour being suitable to keep the relationship going.
Or having the confidence to end it if and when you discover that someone's not worth staying in a relationship with.
(Original post by Pugglet)
I mean I struggled to find someone for two or three years
Very good point, considering that you are a beautiful young woman.

Every time a woman starts a new relationship with a man, a man is starting a new relationship with a woman. Seeing as the population is split about 50 50 that means that men must start new relationships with women as often as men do.

And the sort of men that say that it's easier for women to find someone than it is for a man tends to be the sort of man that doesn't understand the theory behind maximising your chances of getting and keeping a sexual partner.
Or they are the sort of man with a victim mentality that makes excuses for their own failings. Instead of addressing the actual core part of the issue.

Finding a relationship is in the Pareto category. Where to get better than 80% of people in this field requires getting 20% of things right. Whilst getting better than 100% of people would require getting 100% things right.
And where a lot of people go wrong is on focusing on the 80% of things that make up the last 20% in results instead of focusing on the 20% that gets 80% of results.
IE they don't focus on man to woman or woman to man social skills. Most of which are a form of marketing and sales skills.
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username5500708
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Very good point, considering that you are a beautiful young woman.

Every time a woman starts a new relationship with a man, a man is starting a new relationship with a woman. Seeing as the population is split about 50 50 that means that men must start new relationships with women as often as men do.

And the sort of men that say that it's easier for women to find someone than it is for a man tends to be the sort of man that doesn't understand the theory behind maximising your chances of getting and keeping a sexual partner.
Or they are the sort of man with a victim mentality that makes excuses for their own failings. Instead of addressing the actual core part of the issue.

Finding a relationship is in the Pareto category. Where to get better than 80% of people in this field requires getting 20% of things right. Whilst getting better than 100% of people would require getting 100% things right.
And where a lot of people go wrong is on focusing on the 80% of things that make up the last 20% in results instead of focusing on the 20% that gets 80% of results.
IE they don't focus on man to woman or woman to man social skills. Most of which are a form of marketing and sales skills.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I beg to differ actually. No point generalising when I can admit I'm a definite exception. 💁🏻*♀️
It's generally true, but of course there are exceptions & grey areas.
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username5500708
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(Original post by Pugglet)
I mean I struggled to find someone for two or three years
if you wanted just anyone, you would have got that straight away.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Darktriad96)
if you wanted just anyone, you would have got that straight away.
And what would be the point in that?
A relationship with just anyone would be fine for the novelty, but after that it would become a millstone round your neck very quickly.

And for men, it's not difficult getting into a relationship with someone if you suspend all fussiness.
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username5500708
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
And what would be the point in that?
A relationship with just anyone would be fine for the novelty, but after that it would become a millstone round your neck very quickly.

And for men, it's not difficult getting into a relationship with someone if you suspend all fussiness.
Yeah I agree. I'm no advocate for inadequacy😅.

It's still somewhat of an onourous task for guys. It makes it merely 'easier' under those circumstances but not necessarily easy per sé.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Darktriad96)
Yeah I agree. I'm no advocate for inadequacy😅.

It's still somewhat of an onourous task for guys. It makes it merely 'easier' under those circumstances but not necessarily easy per sé.
It's probably not as difficult as you think.

Depending on whether you think it's difficult to:
take the lead
be positive
talk to someone in a way that makes it clear that you like them, whilst being upfront about your reservations
stand your ground over things you feel strongly about
keep an open mind in terms of who you are willing to spend time with
plus a few other things

I think all of these things can be done as part of who you naturally are. And therefore aren't that challenging or difficult for someone with the right mindset.
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